suziesuzie Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 Think I could be overreacting but I'm just starting to get really anxious... will try to make this short. Dating this guy for about 5 weeks. We've been on a total of about 6-7 dates. Met him online, he persued me very hard, I finally agreed to go out. He told me he joined the dating site because of me, told me he felt like he knew me. 1st date was probably one of the best I've ever had. Great conversation, great attraction, great chemistry. He emailed me the next day and asked me out again. Talked to him about 4-5 days after that email. 2nd great was great, he asked me out before date was even over. I emailed him the next day to tell him my schedule. Met a few days later. He spent the night, no sex. Said he would talk to me soon. I didnt hear from him for about 3 days so I texted to say "hi" and he asked me out again. He didn't contact me for about 4 days (I got worried) but finally said "hi"... I texted back and it took him 24 hours to respond. 4th date was also great -- fooled around and he told me I made him feel vulnerable. He texted the next day and said he had a nice time. Didnt hear from him for a few days after that so I sent him an email asking him if he wanted to go to this concert we had been discussing... didnt hear from him. The next day I was out near his house so I texted him and we ended up meeting up. Had a great time. Didnt hear from him for about 2 days and texted him with a comic I was telling him about... took him 24 hours to respond but he didnt ask me out. I responded to the text, took him 12 hours to respond. A few days later I was getting so anxious because he still hadn't asked me out... it had been 5 days since I had last seen him so I asked him out for that evening and he said he was free and we went out. We had a great time (or at least I thought we did)... he told me on that date that he has not dated in 18 months (since last breakup) and that he has also been celibate during that time. We fooled around (no sex) and I really thought the date was great... things got pretty hot and heavy and I thought we were giong to have sex but he didn't have condoms but I almost think that even if he had that he still wouldnt have wanted to have sex. He got me off and then when I went to give him a blowjob (which I have already done several times before) he said "No, that's okay, you dont' have to..." I told him I wanted to and I ended up doing it but it just struck me as odd. I'm just getting worried maybe he isn't as interested. I texted him when I got home and said "I just wanted to let you know I respect your boundaries and I'm fine with moving slow but I'm really enjoying getting to know you and would love to see you again. Hope you have a great rest of your week" He said "Thank you! Likewise!" I am not sure if he was saying "likewise" to the weekend comment or the other things I wrote. I guess I am just panicking because I saw him on Wednesday and I havent heard from him and he hasnt asked me out again. I just think its weird that after 5 weeks of dating he is still going 4-5 days with no contact. I dont want to keep initiating so I deleted his contact info so I wouldnt break down. I REALLY like this guy so far. I feel like I've made it clear how I feel and now it is up to him to ask me out again. How many days is acceptable to wait? Dont you think that at this point if he doesn't want to see me anymore that he should at least text to say soemthing like "I dont think its going to work out" or something? I'm just getting very anxious but dont want to show this to him!
sm1tten Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 It sounds to me like he is dating others... I hope that you are too. It also sounds like the tables have turned - he pursued, now you're doing all the pursuing. This could either indicate what I said above (he's dating others), or a waning interest, or he's simply not ready to date. It's a nice thought that he would just tell you if any of those things are true, but unfortunately people are often not forthcoming with that kind of information for various reasons. If you want to know, ask him. Just remember, no answer is an answer.
Author suziesuzie Posted June 25, 2011 Author Posted June 25, 2011 I'm sure he is dating other people. We are not exclusive. I've been dating other people less because I really like this guy a lot. On the plus side, both times I asked him out, he agreed and we had a great time. I was thinking that maybe he just doesn't feel the need to contact someone very often because even in the beginning when he was asking me out he was still only texting me every 4 days or so... so not much has changed. What has changed is that I wanted to talk to him more frequently so after 2 days or so I was texting him to say "hi" After this last date, I told him how I felt (end of my post) and then deleted his contact info so I couldnt email or text him even if I wanted to. It just felt like we had such a great connection. I really hate dating for these reasons. I feel like I can't get on the same page with someone. After 5 weeks of dating, 6-7 dates and spending the night together would most guys at least send a text to say "Hey, I'm seeing someone else" or something. It would be one thing if it was only a few dates and we hadn't spent the night, etc. but at this point it seems rude if he just doesn't say anything. I'm definitely not going to ask him anything. I think it's too early. I'll wait to see if he contacts me again. Really disappointed and discouraged right now.
Recommended Posts