heartbrokengrl Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Ive been with my guy for almost 6 months. Lately i noticed he texts, emails less. Is he getting too comfortable? No good mornings, used to get a lot of those for the first few months. But when we see each other hes still just as affectionate, should i pay more attention to how he acts in person? I know i have an anxious attachment style. I dont want to bring up to him that i like the attention he gave me before without coming off iinsecure or clingy. Ive told him before i like when i used to wake up to his emails. Sometimes i think about how he was engaged before and was with the ex for 8 years and he once told me how it was love at first site, she was his best friend, first loves...until she cheated on him. I feel like we werent love at first site, hes taking things slow, never told me loves me but said im special to him that he cares about me. He doesnt mention any future plans with me but i know he really likes me. Im sure hes in no rush since he was hurt before. love to him he said was something most ppl just throw out there and when he was drunk he said i was very close but not quite there. It hurt me but im trying to be patient. I enjoy our time together but he doesnt display his emotions so hes hard to read sometimes. Im thinking about telling him i love him around the 8 month mark although id like him to say it first. Advice?
Nexus One Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Ive been with my guy for almost 6 months. Lately i noticed he texts, emails less. Is he getting too comfortable? No good mornings, used to get a lot of those for the first few months. But when we see each other hes still just as affectionate, should i pay more attention to how he acts in person? I know i have an anxious attachment style. I dont want to bring up to him that i like the attention he gave me before without coming off iinsecure or clingy. I consider such a high frequency of texts and e-mails in the beginning part of the chase. At some point guys stop chasing you when they feel comfortable that they've caught you. That comfort isn't necessarily a bad thing, as it would stress a guy out if he has to keep chasing a woman, that would mentally drain him down eventually and he would give up going after the woman if she doesn't at some point reciprocate. The fact that he still acts affectionate to you in person in my opinion is proof that he's still as into you as before, but has stopped or limited the chase behavior that you've seen from him earlier on.
Author heartbrokengrl Posted June 24, 2011 Author Posted June 24, 2011 I suppose you're right. It's just that I guess all the attention gave me more security as well. I know since he's never told me he loves me, those little e-mails and texts (still get them, just not as frequent) assured me that he was into me just as much. I'm still into him as the first day I met him. Last night at 2am, I knew he was sleeping, but I texted him saying that I missed him and was still awake. I thought maybe he would have replied when he woke up or e-mailed me, but nothing. I didn't ask a question so maybe I shouldn't expect a reply? He didn't ackowledge the text. I know he goes to work at 8am, but he has a lot of downtime at work, he posted a funny article on his facebook page. He used to e-mail me a lot from work, even called me on his smoke break, but now it's even less argh. I don't want to bring it up to him bc then I know if he starts doing it again it'll only be because I mentioned it. I don't want to play games, we're both not like that. This is the first long term relationship I had where I don't know what he's thinking, he's so independent, I'm trying to keep myself busy too. I guess it's just something I'll learn to deal with and accept that he does like me. I just need to feel less insecure, but that gets difficult when you've been getting attention all the time and then u start to notice it's not there as much.
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