GivenUp0083 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Since my breakup recently, I haven't really been scouting for women to ask out or even flirt with because of what I'm going through and dating just isn't something I have a ton of interest in right now (obviously). For some reason this morning on the way to work I noticed a girl I was standing near on the train that was pretty cute. I actually see a LOT of cute girls on the train on the way or home from work on the el train here in Chicago. I'm just curious, despite knowing it's very hard to pull off a pickup attempt on a train, how would you go about trying to talk to or make conversation with a girl on a train if you wanted to? The major factors going against you are 1.) there's a time limit depending on when/where either of you have to get off the train and 2.) there's a ton of people standing around on a rather quiet train where everyone will be paying attention to your conversation....talk about pressure! Thoughts? Strategies? Advice?
tb24 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Only time I've ever picked up a girl on the train, it was midnight, last train of the night. I was in an empty carriage, and she made a point of sitting opposite me so wasn't exactly a cold approach In my opinion, you need to get non-verbal interest before talking or more than likely you'll just get shot down...
Author GivenUp0083 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Yeah, that seems like a pretty solid philosophy. You probably need some buying signals that it's even a good idea to strike up conversation before you go for it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 The best way is to start obviously glancing at her a lot or until she notices. After that, if she finds you attractive - she will do the same. Then approach.
vsmini Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Another big factor you have to consider is the time of day and the fact that girls are either going to or getting off from work. IMO - worst times of the day to approach them. I live in NYC and a couple guys have attempted to pick me up and it didn't work. I really think if it was in another setting a couple of them would have pulled my number because they did seem nice but I just cannot deal with getting picked up at 730am when my eyes are half shut and I have a stressful day ahead of me. I'm already tired and then talking to a stranger just irritates me further. PM is better but sometimes, if the day has been rough, I'm just not having it. I'm normally a really friendly person but the commute to and from work are probably not my finest hours. Just a thought!
Author GivenUp0083 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Another big factor you have to consider is the time of day and the fact that girls are either going to or getting off from work. IMO - worst times of the day to approach them. I live in NYC and a couple guys have attempted to pick me up and it didn't work. I really think if it was in another setting a couple of them would have pulled my number because they did seem nice but I just cannot deal with getting picked up at 730am when my eyes are half shut and I have a stressful day ahead of me. I'm already tired and then talking to a stranger just irritates me further. PM is better but sometimes, if the day has been rough, I'm just not having it. I'm normally a really friendly person but the commute to and from work are probably not my finest hours. Just a thought! I completely agree, it's not the best setting, it's probably a terrible setting, I'm just curious to anyone who has pulled it off. See, living in Chicago, I just haven't been happy with the type of women I've met through social situations like bars, friends of friends, parties, etc. They're either taken or they're not mentally/personality-wise the type of women I have interest in. I'd like to meet more "quality" women. Not "hotter" women, but decent women who have their head on straight, have a job, know what they want, and are ready for a potential relationship. I don't really get any opportunities to meet these girls. Where should I go to meet them? I have an active lifestyle but unfortunately my hobbies and interests are semi male exclusive, meaning women don't typically share the same interests. Examples: I play baseball (not softball), flag football, I like going to heavy metal concerts, and I'm heavy into libertarian politics (most women I've met are liberal here in Chicago and dislike me for my views more than I dislike them). What should I try to do differently? I won't go back to Online Dating, it's a waste of my time and the quality of women is at a low percentage of that population. That and I just don't have good pictures and I'm not photogenic. I'm a great guy, I love to have fun, I'm smart, I have a job, I have great friends....I just need more opportunities to meet decent, nice, caring, smart girls. I'm open to suggestions.
irc333 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I completely agree, it's not the best setting, it's probably a terrible setting, I'm just curious to anyone who has pulled it off. See, living in Chicago, I just haven't been happy with the type of women I've met through social situations like bars, friends of friends, parties, etc. They're either taken or they're not mentally/personality-wise the type of women I have interest in. I'd like to meet more "quality" women. Not "hotter" women, but decent women who have their head on straight, have a job, know what they want, and are ready for a potential relationship. I don't really get any opportunities to meet these girls. Where should I go to meet them? I have an active lifestyle but unfortunately my hobbies and interests are semi male exclusive, meaning women don't typically share the same interests. Examples: I play baseball (not softball), flag football, I like going to heavy metal concerts, and I'm heavy into libertarian politics (most women I've met are liberal here in Chicago and dislike me for my views more than I dislike them). What should I try to do differently? I won't go back to Online Dating, it's a waste of my time and the quality of women is at a low percentage of that population. That and I just don't have good pictures and I'm not photogenic. I'm a great guy, I love to have fun, I'm smart, I have a job, I have great friends....I just need more opportunities to meet decent, nice, caring, smart girls. I'm open to suggestions. I would suggest taking cooking class since women are predominately in that area of expertise or dancing ie - salsa lessons , you'll meet plenty of women that way.
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I met a girl on the train once but she approached me, not vice versa. It was on the Metro North, which is a commuter train to the NYC suburbs. I was already sitting in a seat and the seat next to me was empty. This girl walked in, walked up the aisle in front of me, then walked back towards me and sat down next to me. She asked some really dumb question like "is this an offpeak train" when it quite obviously was, but it got the conversation started. Later when we were dating she admitted that she sat down next to me because she thought I was good looking and just came up with some excuse to make conversation. Hey, it worked!
Ruby Slippers Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I met a pretty cool guy on the El a while back and dated him for a few months. The train was packed, I sat down in the empty seat next to him, and he immediately started talking to me. I actually think it's really romantic to meet on public transit. Anytime I see an intriguing guy on the train, I hope he will come talk to me.
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