Author trippi1432 Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Confirmed....my exH is getting married next Friday....my son was told not to tell me but I asked him to please tell me the truth. I wish him happiness, but I wish myself more happiness than I ever knew with him..... Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Well, i hope his car breaks down on the way. Link to post Share on other sites
starting2wakeup Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I wish myself more happiness than I ever knew with him..... --HUGS-- I wish you all the happiness in the world, trippi! And I have no doubt you will find it one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Well, i hope his car breaks down on the way. Thanks Jaymz.....I remember when he and I got married..I just asked him not to "flip out"...to just let me have that one day...of peace. He said it was the proudest day of his life...I wish his car had broken down then. --HUGS-- I wish you all the happiness in the world, trippi! And I have no doubt you will find it one day. Thanks J...I hope you are right...I do. For now, I keep trying to define my own happiness...from within Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 so sorry to hear that honey. I know it's gotta sting. I'm worried I'll hear the same thing once the D is over. I do find it helpful to be away from the area. Those that get married don't always stay married. Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Well then, he is officially someone elses problem now. Once their hitched and he lets his real self show, you can just sit back and be glad to be free. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 Well then, he is officially someone elses problem now. Once their hitched and he lets his real self show, you can just sit back and be glad to be free. TOJAZ Well put Tojaz, very well put. Onward and upward Trippi, put all this behind you and you'll find happiness. Oh..I agree..time to put it ALL behind me... Very true, all of it and I am glad to be free now....even more, better now that I know the truth. What is it they say, the truth shall set you free? I guess it's best to realize that when an unknown 3rd party is involved in the relationship or a recon, you really don't stand a chance. I know that he lied about his involvement with her, has lied about a lot really...that is his burden to carry, not mine. I know my integrity and I know that I am not wired like that, and some day I will find a man who appreciates that and will be someone I can truly trust. That will be the hard part for me I know, being able to trust again, especially when you trust someone so much with your heart and then you find out the truth. My father told me this once....and I believe it to be true... "You will only find your true mate when you have been abused enough to know what you don't want AND when you meet another person who has been abused enough to know what they don't want. Then both parties are finally willing to give up control for a shared responsible relationship." Equality, mutual respect and taking responsibility/accountability for their actions. In the end, I divorced him and cast him out of my life....I carried guilt for that, but no more....my intuition was right, and I will never doubt it again. And when the right person comes along, I won't have to question his honesty because he won't be a person who would do things that would hurt me if I found out the truth later. So yes, put it in the past, onward and upward to better things, better memories and happiness. It is what I deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Your father's wisdom is so spot on. I have long wondered what my lady sees in me. I have never questioned her love for me. But, I have wondered why, with her looks and kind personality, she choose me, as she had offers from guys with money, guys who were younger, I am eight years older, and guys with looks, (she likes them tall). And yet from her first "ILY" there has never been a doubt that she is in this relationship as deeply as I am. Trippi. if it could happen to me, it surely will happen to you, as you are open to finding the right person. I on the other hand was the poster boy for never falling in love again. There is one draw back though, time seems to be flying by. It is hard to believe that in three months we will be celibrating 16 years together, and I swear that first kiss seems like it only happened last week. Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Great post Trip, made me cry happy tears. Link to post Share on other sites
debtman Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Great post and incredible perspective Trippi. We can all take something from this. Thanks... Good luck and keep posting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 Trippi. if it could happen to me, it surely will happen to you, as you are open to finding the right person. I on the other hand was the poster boy for never falling in love again. Eh..ya know Gallon, I muddle back and forth between that....open to finding the right person to feeling like I never want to fall in love again. Hurt is hurt, and it can cut very deep. But you know what, it leads us closer and closer to that advice that my father gave....eventually, with each hurt, you learn what you don't want to go through again when you find the right person. Jaymz, Debtman - thank you...hugs to you both. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 (edited) Let the drama start.....point 5 for the away team Our son can't sit outside for fear that someone might see him and know that his 2 time cheating soon to be step-mother might be offended...or is that 3 time considering my exH too...hmm. She sent him (exH) to stay at his mother's on their wedding night..as if they had something sacred..oh..she is smooth..this is hilarious...I'm glad I still have a sense of humor. Edited July 15, 2011 by trippi1432 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Unless you are a total fool, you will learn. With the passage of years, you learn what is important in your life and how to spot and reject bull chit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 Oh I know...and I'm sure my son was making more out of the being fussed at for sitting outside....but I'm laughing over the fact that his soon to be bride sent her soon to be husband to stay at his mother's house. She's been married twice, him once, she kicked her husband out so my husband could move in and they have been sleeping in the same bed for almost 2 years now...BUT!! It's WRONG to sleep together the night before the ceremony???? That's just too d*mn funny!! :lmao::lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 Oh...wait...I feel really bad now, who am I to question their morals. I am so ashamed of myself. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Donewrong Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Big ~hugs~ my friend! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Karma is not what comes but what goes..... people still don't get this..... Link to post Share on other sites
Donewrong Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Who knows hun..she may ask your X to move out for a new OM sooner than you think!?!? Taramaiden is right - Karma is what goes.. They got each other, darn fools...you got the better end of the stick I'd say! Link to post Share on other sites
Donewrong Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 Oh I know...and I'm sure my son was making more out of the being fussed at for sitting outside....but I'm laughing over the fact that his soon to be bride sent her soon to be husband to stay at his mother's house. She's been married twice, him once, she kicked her husband out so my husband could move in and they have been sleeping in the same bed for almost 2 years now...BUT!! It's WRONG to sleep together the night before the ceremony???? That's just too d*mn funny!! :lmao::lmao::lmao: Oh my..don't tell me she wore white as well??? Link to post Share on other sites
starting2wakeup Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 In regards to karma, I've always liked the Wiccan Rule of Three or Threefold Law which says something to the effect of, "Beware of the rule of 3, What you give will get back at you, This lesson you must learn, You only get what you deserve". The general idea being, assuming I'm reading into it right, is that what ever you put out there will come back to you threefold. I'd like to think there is something to that. Using your Ex as an example: He was (and correct me if I'm wrong) a liar and a cheater. Now he is marrying a person who is a known, and seemingly proud, serial cheater who it would seem has him wrapped around her twisted finger. Sounds like he is getting what he deserves. You on the other hand are very intelligent, insightful, clever and as caring as they come. What you deserve is someone better than him. Much, much better than him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 Karma is not what comes but what goes..... people still don't get this..... Nah...I get ya...been waiting for you to weigh in sweets. What is gone, is a huge weight on my shoulders...what is gone is what I no longer will carry for him ever...my boulders keep getting smaller...it's all good. But to think that they will be miserable is a fallacy...be happy for them because to be resentful takes up too much negative energy and detracts from your own self-worth and your own internal happiness. Act with integrity and value because we are responsible for our own happiness and misery. Today I toasted him with some gal-friends of mine...tonight I celebrate with more friends and I know that I am blessed....I was never allowed to have friends...now I have more friends (including those here) than I have ever had. (Oh..Tara...congrats...had no idea you got married, saw it here recently.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 Big ~hugs~ my friend! Who knows hun..she may ask your X to move out for a new OM sooner than you think!?!? Taramaiden is right - Karma is what goes.. They got each other, darn fools...you got the better end of the stick I'd say! Oh my..don't tell me she wore white as well??? Thanks Donewrong....I do have the better end of the stick, the opportunity to find both myself and someone worthwhile to spend that with..choices, choices...but think I am going to picky in the future. I spent a long time accepting what was unacceptable....New Trippi. And if she wore white...that is even more hilarious than her wanting to create the Virgin night before...yeah...I needed the laugh/irony..thank you. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 15, 2011 Author Share Posted July 15, 2011 In regards to karma, I've always liked the Wiccan Rule of Three or Threefold Law which says something to the effect of, "Beware of the rule of 3, What you give will get back at you, This lesson you must learn, You only get what you deserve". The general idea being, assuming I'm reading into it right, is that what ever you put out there will come back to you threefold. I'd like to think there is something to that. Using your Ex as an example: He was (and correct me if I'm wrong) a liar and a cheater. Now he is marrying a person who is a known, and seemingly proud, serial cheater who it would seem has him wrapped around her twisted finger. Sounds like he is getting what he deserves. You on the other hand are very intelligent, insightful, clever and as caring as they come. What you deserve is someone better than him. Much, much better than him. You know J...I hadn't thought of that bold part above..but you are right. Very telling about the fact that even his own son says his dad has his head shoved up this woman's a**.....sad really, but I know exactly how my kid feels as my dad did it too to me. I've seen so many changes in my kid recently as the awareness takes over and his maturity develops. I so hope that he takes the higher road than his father has. My son is like me...when he loves, he loves deeply and profoundly...now if I can just teach him to depolarize his drama magnet that he inherited from his father's family...perfection. LOL!! But yes, rule of 3...be careful what you ask for...I ask for happiness from the universe and I continue to create that for myself and others. To know how far I have come from....where I have been is a freedom I cannot even describe. Thank you J...for your kind words...I know I do deserve better, today marks a freedom to find exactly that. I don't think I ever knew how your ex getting married could be so liberating. Link to post Share on other sites
Donewrong Posted July 19, 2011 Share Posted July 19, 2011 Hey Hun! I thought I'd drop a line to see how you are doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author trippi1432 Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 Hi Donewrong - I'm doing good actually, thank you for asking. Getting past last week has given me a new perspective and it's no longer about him...it's about me and what I want out of life. My new avatar...it's from The Noble Act of Starting Over Again.....Fortitude...you can read the artists concept that created the painting here: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/the-noble-act-of-starting-over-again-nagualero.html. I feel that says a lot about looking to the future and knowing it can be different. {{{Hugs}}} Link to post Share on other sites
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