Author eastsunshine2011 Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 No we are not redulicous, you are a cheater that is very selfish.......I pray for your poor husband. You say u didn't mean it to happen, that is a flat out LIE! Just do ur husband a favor, DIVORCE HIM!!!!!!! I think if u were a psycologist u would be more understanding but YOU AREN'T. I already told u, I told my H and he does not want a divorse. The advise I'm looking for is someone who was in a similar situation and has PROFESSIONAL advice. Don't need to hear anymore of anyone elses opinions who are only seeing things from one side. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 what actions are you doing to focus positive and loving behavior towards your H - that would grow the M healthier? are you also keeping all your time/energy focused on the M and H? that includes no thought or actions with your OM... are you accomplishing that as well? Link to post Share on other sites
tobeornottobe Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) I am perturbed and shocked at the advice some of the posters gave the OP. "Until you've walked in someone else's shoes, dont judge" should be the premise of your advice to anyone having the guts to share their story here. Especially the Christians should understand that "there is no condemnation for those who are..." No person has a mandate to be judgemental, especially a Christian. This does not mean you have to condone the OP's actions. What would really help is to "walk alongside" her (parakletos). Problem with forums like these is that the posters can be anything from an inexperienced idiot to victims of a similar experience with unresolved issues to holier than though religiousity freaks who force THEIR level of spiritual understanding on others. Here is my advice: First of all, tell yourself that God loves you unconditionally (since you say you are a Christian) and that NOTHING can seperate you from His love. Secondly, stop posting anything further related to this topic. Most of these folk have not been in your shoes. Thirdly, fight any thoughts or feelings you have for this OM with every prayer and inch of energy you have. Decide to work with all your might on your marriage, open up to your husband, find a good life coach in your area, preferably NOT someone from church, as they often speak from their personal interpreation & understanding and level of revelation. Christ in YOU, the hope of your glory. YOU listen to your heart, YOU listen to God, your emotions etc. while considering your husband and family and their feelings as well. Lastly, if after some time you are convinced in your heart and mind that your spiritual covenant with your husband is broken and damaged to the point that there is no remedy, you will have to face the fact that it may be the right thing to seperate. I do not suggest you stretch this out for a long time. I pray for wisdom and guidance, knowing that you already have the necessary grace. When I was a teenager, I caught an aunt cheating on her husband which had been going on for more than a year. She was unaware that I knew back then. I was very upset and considered telling the husband, but decided against doing so. Soon after she ended the relationship but never told her husband. Fast forward 25 years and they are both still very happily married. She realized her mistake and never cheated again, and I KNOW, did she (or I) tell her husband back then, he would have left her. Whenever I see them happy together, I always say a silent prayer thanking God that I never told him... Edited July 14, 2011 by tobeornottobe Link to post Share on other sites
OldOnTheInside Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) ^ Oh please, it's obvious that OP was a troll. Or somebody that couldn't handle harsh criticism. You can call somebody out for their sh*t without judging them. Fast forward 25 years and they are both still very happily married. She realized her mistake and never cheated again, and I KNOW, did she (or I) tell her husband back then, he would have left her. Whenever I see them happy together, I always say a silent prayer thanking God that I never told him... Is the bolded really such a bad thing? How do you know that she never cheated again? Seems that while you and his wife were busy with your ethical dilemmas, the husband never got any say. Edited July 14, 2011 by OldOnTheInside Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted July 15, 2011 Share Posted July 15, 2011 I think if u were a psycologist u would be more understanding but YOU AREN'T. I already told u, I told my H and he does not want a divorse. The advise I'm looking for is someone who was in a similar situation and has PROFESSIONAL advice. Don't need to hear anymore of anyone elses opinions who are only seeing things from one side. Yes I agree eastsunshine2011, the tone of some of the advice here you received seemed angry and attacking, not guideing and understanding. Seems like it became a pissing match for some reason. Weird. Not helpful either. More like bullying you instead of helping you gain insight. Tone is very important. Otherwise things said just fall on deaf ears, regardless of intent. It was a good idea for you to stop seeking advice here, and instead, should you want more guidance and support, seek a therapist or marriage counselor. You will learn about yourself and what it is in your marriage that is not meeting your needs. Then you can decide if you want to continue the marriage or not. The same is true for your husband, he is an equal partner in the marriage and he deserves to be happy too, not deceived. It was very brave of you to confess all this to your husband, by the way. That took COURAGE. I never recommend someone confess infidelity if their partner has any chance of becoming violent. Also, be sure you google the divorce laws in your state and spend a long time reading up on them, so you will be very familar, should your husband seek a divorce down the road someday, even if right now, you think he wouldn't do that. Get informed. Good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author eastsunshine2011 Posted July 16, 2011 Author Share Posted July 16, 2011 Thank you for ur kind Touching understanding advice. Who said Christians were perfect. That's why Jesus died for our sins. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eastsunshine2011 Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Can u get any STD's from receiving oral? Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Read up about herpes. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Can u get any STD's from receiving oral? yes. are you experiencing any symptoms that are cause for concern? Link to post Share on other sites
ahumberg Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Ask your loving and hard working husband if you should repost this in the Infidelity section. Depending upon denomination of Christian you may have cheated. Did you dance? I think you started your infidelity when you realized he was attractive and you started texting with him anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author eastsunshine2011 Posted August 25, 2011 Author Share Posted August 25, 2011 yes. are you experiencing any symptoms that are cause for concern? Monistat took care of it, not that it's any of ur business Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 Monistat took care of it, not that it's any of ur business Monistat will cure a yeast infection - not herpes or an STD. You should be tested and see a doctor. Link to post Share on other sites
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