Trovador Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Been there... a lot of times... as a matter of fact I read this thread back in the day, I don't know why I didn't post, maybe because I was deeply involved with a female coworker he he... Putting aside all the troubles concerning a workplace romance, let me tell you that I am a sort of expert in this field: 5 gfs, all coworkers or related to work (one was a intern... I know, I know)... what I intend to tell you is that I have lived what you are experiencing now but I got the girl or girls... I am not boasting, just telling you what I did, in case you need it (and you do!)... I pulled away in all cases. I stopped worrying after I made clear my feelings and was more or less plainly rejected. No calls, no good mornings, no "accidental" bumps into each other, no games, nothing, nada... I truly moved on or honestly tried to. In all cases. I didn't expect nor wanted their contact. In fact, I never thought they would reach out to me, I mean something that wasn't related to work. And all they did. And I ended having a (secret) relationship with them, and some of them overlapped just a bit he he... (yeah, I am a disgusting guy)... but for all I cared, they very well might have not contacted me at all... and I am sure if I had expected them to contact me (thus changing my behavior) nothing would have happened (not that those relationship were the cream of the crop of my romantic life ha ha)... In sum, my friend, do nothing... you are prolonging this absurd situation for a ridiculous amount of time, whereas would you stopped the drama and the flirting you had moved on long ago or would have got the girl... Don't keep this going on... let her go, you said your piece, she is aware you still worry about her and has you wrapped around her pinky... show her that you honestly don't give a damn about what happened and I guarantee that you will be free of all this stupid melodrama or you will get her... BTW, I am (or was) currently involved with another girl at the office... guess what? She plainly rejected me... So be it... Link to post Share on other sites
Lady123456789 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hi All We had a meeting about two weeks ago. It was a discussion just between the pair of us about working practices. I was concerned that she was being negative and I wanted to know why; particularly if it was related to our 'misunderstandings' of the past. I simply wanted to know from her whether she was happy to work with me going forward. She said yes but she got very upset that I brought up the past again (i.e. the whole rejection thing!). I said I wanted to draw a line under things but she got quite agitated and went over the whole rejection path again. I didn't ask to go over old ground in detail but she seemed intent on repeating her rejection to me! Not just verbally but also by email. She really wanted to rub my nose in it! We didn't speak for a couple of days but now as a professional relationship we are fine. Her flirting has reduced, and so has mine, which I am glad about. I have had enough. I am really attracted to her and I still want her but I cannot deal with her immaturity. I can't work out whether she is just a very complicated and difficult person or whether she did/does have feelings for me and just felt the need to suppress them, hence the long winded rejection rather than a simple 'i'm not interested'. I think more the latter because I see that look in her eye...the look you can't mistake, that there is attraction from her part burie deep inside...\\ **** HER!! excuse my language but seriously. First you tell her your feelings and she rejects you. Then she starts toying with your emotions blatenly flirting with you. Then she rejects you again in person and AGAIN through email?? Not only is she a tease but she doesnt have any regard for your feelings. Dont allow her to toy with you emotions. Just keep it professional; draw clear lines and try not to overstep them or she will just to continue to toy with you. Link to post Share on other sites
cavedweller Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Hey, Put her behind you and move on. my 2 cents Link to post Share on other sites
harrymark Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 I took it upon myself to be straight with her. My hormones and emotional stress got the better of me and I would call it an irrational move to make my feelings known to her; although I did really like her and still do to a certain extent. I'm glad I said something finally. But I definitely learned something through this (or, at least was reminded of it): If you are attracted, don't wait and don't fool yourself with thinking you can get by for a long time without saying anything. If the situation of how you met is initially complicated like mine was, better to just avoid engaging her it until that situation is over and done with and you can actually approach her on a clear field. Link to post Share on other sites
harrymark Posted November 26, 2011 Share Posted November 26, 2011 She texted her rejection back to me (my 'proposition', which was clean, was on voicemail) and she was very stern in her response stating that she 'absolutely did not have the same feelings' and that I needed to 'sort my problems out'. She effectively turned from samaritan to executioner in the space of 2 hours because of what I said! You you go for committed sexless relationships? BS! Why were you attracted to her? Sexuality and physical appearance play big roles in how we develop feelings. We're sexual creatures, don't repress that. Admit it. Sex with her crossed your mind at least 150 times a day. Link to post Share on other sites
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