frozensprouts Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 They're all young. She volunteers at the kids' school. She doesn't want to get a job. She had one when we were first starting out, and is glad she doesn't have to worry about a job anymore. I make enough money that we can live comfortably without worrying about money. She's social and in several mom's groups, so I don't think the adult conversation thing is an issue. I'm a stay at home mom too, and it wasn't what we planned on at all, it was kind of thrust upon us for reasons we couldn't control. we split the work this way...he goes to work and I do all the houseowrk, budgeting,bill payments, childcare, therapy, medical/counselor appointments, laundry, meals, getting our kids to school, etc. I don't mind, as my husband works long hours and he works really hard. but there was a while when i started to feel like theonly thing I was was a "mom'. I had been to university, had worked, am reasonably intelligent, etc., but i felt like I was stagnating. i joined a few 'mothers groups" but that didn't help ( I joking refered to them as "stitch and bi@ch groups). I got very depressed and kind of gave up. i kind of felt like "I'm a mom and that's all I am so why bother" what helped me a lot was getting into volunteering. I started volunteering, got onto a governing board of a local not for profit and really liked it. I got to use my mind, and my chldcare costs for the time i volunteered were covered. it was great! i started feeling better and started to care again about a lot of things I had lost sight of. It's kind of hard to explain, but anyone who has been there know what it's like. there also seems to be an atitude that a stay at home mom ( or dad) is somehow lazy because they don't go out to work. it takes a lot of effort to be one, and you have to give up a lot to do it. for your wife, just don't let it be herself. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLawmaker Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Something that popped into my mind while reading all the arguments here about women vs men, fat vs fit, love vs attraction: If OP divorced his wife and she was finished with the legal aspects and getting used to being a single parent at home, the FIRST thing she would do would be to go on a diet and get fit. That's exactly right. The OP isn't shallow for not being sexually attracted to fat women. His wife wasn't a fat woman when they made babies together...therefore, she became something he didn't marry. It's like if a woman went out and got a bunch of plastic surgery to please herself, and the man divorced her because she was no longer the woman he married. How is this any different? She isn't the woman he married! OP, don't listen to the garbage that you are shallow. You can't help your attraction levels. A relationship without sexual attraction is friendship. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
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