carhill Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I would find a man who goes to bed at 11pm on a Saturday night when a woman has invited him over to be grossly incompatible, but that's me, and I'm a man I'd echo 'go with the flow' if you can holster your emotions and not become attached. Emotional attachment is a mutha... good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Country_Girl Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 I would find a man who goes to bed at 11pm on a Saturday night when a woman has invited him over to be grossly incompatible, but that's me, and I'm a man I'd echo 'go with the flow' if you can holster your emotions and not become attached. Emotional attachment is a mutha... good luck LOL carhill, I hear you! But in his defense, he does work a lot. Too much in fact. I did try to lull him over, saying it's only 10pm a least watch one movie with me. No response, so I guess he's in bed :-( I just wish I could spend more time with him, right now it's once a week...twice a week would be great. Oh well :-( Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I have a male friend. He's 50 this year, actually a week after me earlier this month. He never fails to go home from dinners/parties, etc, by 8pm. He's up early every Sunday morning to go to church. He's never been married and I've never seen him with a girlfriend (or boyfriend) of any length of time. He says he's straight. I believe him (don't get a gay vibe from him). He works a lot. Most women I know consider him attractive (far more so than myself). Ring any bells? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Country_Girl Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 I think I am just gonna give up. I invited him over, he texted back he was going to bed :-( I really like him, I would like to see him more than once a week. But whatever, I'll continue the business side of things. But I won't initiate any more dates. My heart was broken in the past, I don't want to relive that. Link to post Share on other sites
Saxis Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I think that's a good plan: Don't initiate dates, but continue with whatever... If he's really interested in more than friends, you should be hearing from him more often. But after all this, are you sure you're still OK with just friends? Personally, I don't really contact women that don't have romantic interest potential, unless they are wive's/SO's of VERY good friends. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 I'm just curious, because I have been on 3 dates with this guy over the last month. We have a ridiculous amount in common, read the same books seen the same movies (stuff that no normal guy would read/watch). No, he's not gay. We haven't kissed yet, he opens the car door for me and pays for the dates. Sometimes he will text me "sweet dreams"- maybe once a week. He's great for conversation in person, but outside of that he isn't much of a caller/texter. We text a couple lines maybe every 3 days or so, and we only talked on the phone once and that was to schedule a date/meeting. I attribute the lack of communication to his work, as he has like 5 jobs and is always on the go. Our last date was more of like a meeting, we met up because he wanted to know if I was looking for extra work. I said sure, we met for 3 hours. I would say a good hour and a half was focused on business and what he wanted help with, the other hour and a half was just shooting the **** (telling stories and laughing). He never lets me pay for any of the meals we have. He has referred to me as babe a few times. We have discussed things like past relationships, deal breakers, our childhood. Not too much flirting, it's really subtle- maybe a touch of the arm/hand here or there, and one time I did something and he said "that's cute". We always hug hello/goodbye. Am I doomed for the friend zone? I'm not sure. I'd like to continue dating him but I would honestly be okay with just friends also. I don't know if I should make a move, I'm worried I will overstep a boundary. Does anyone have any flirting tips so I can maybe gauge if he sees me as more than a friend? lol that's not him friend zoning you. Maybe he's a little timid about progressing stuff sexually fast, but I'd say that's it. The girls I friendzone I tend to not talk to them about it (cause girls will get pissed), I'm generally friendly but don't make any explicit advances on them, I don't encourage social situations with (I don't avoid them because that's stupid), and I think that's it. If they drop hints I play "moron-guy-who-cant-read-hints". I sure as heck wouldn't go on dates with them. Girls do that to guys, but probably the only reasons some guys put up with it is (1) desperation (2) unwilling to assert themselves or demand more (3) low sense of self-worth on their part (4) the ability to be okay with it and not complain/flip out/loose their cool (which I think most girls wouldn't do)... Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 So odd, I know exactly what you mean. The stars have aligned for this, in some way- although I don't know the purpose yet. I just wish I knew what that purpose was, because I don't want to screw up a friendship or potential relationship. Part of me thinks, he's just taking it slow and feeling me out. He doesn't want to get hurt so he is cautious. The other part of me says he's just a nice guy with no motives, and our time together is a friend thing. I am really okay with either or. I'm attracted to him and would like to keep going on dates because I see something with him- I've never had this much in common with one person ever. But if he didn't see me in that light, I would be okay with it and be completely comfortable being friends. Ah, if I only knew the outcome... you can't know, and you can't be happily just friends. so tell him what you feel about him, he will say yes, or no. Link to post Share on other sites
LiberalMRA Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 First, a guy doesn't pay for things unless hes interested (entire table excluded or poor bro). Second, just because he doesn't want to jump into the sack fast and be all over you, doesn't mean he's not interested. Relationship building is not about a quick fling. He's probably testing you out and seeing if you go psycho on him. He may also not be sure if your interest is that strong - us guys can be fairly clueless at times, women really go much deeper into the silliest things than we do. From a distance, this entire thread is quite amusing - this is usually called courtship, and it was fairly normal until the 1960's. Link to post Share on other sites
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