Citizen Erased Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 The look on my face is currently a mixture of and . It won't go away. There is messy. And there is dirty. But that is just disgusting. Imagine if you sustain a relationship and you have to live with that. MAGGOTS. Ugh. :sick: Dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Not convinced here. Very unusual living arrangements and habits can be a red flag. Proceed with caution as they say here, on LS, rather often . Huh. He is a little extreme, but I've been to many a bachelor's pad (as a friend, with a group of guys, not as a gf, so they didn't bother to clean up for me), and they're pretty much the same except for the maggots. Definitely could be a red flag for her, and there'd be nothing wrong with her dumping him for it, but inferring deeper 'issues' from it is just silly IMO. Again, there is a reason you need a degree to diagnose someone with said 'issues'. It'd be like a layman inferring tuberculosis from a persistent cough. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I'll only say, based on reclaiming some units similar to that described in the OP, if the BF is working at home for significant amounts of time, he's probably putting his health at risk. Some pathogen and air quality tests should confirm that. He's the kind of tenant who scares me to death as a landlord, TBH. People like him can destroy good housing units. I'd strongly recommend avoiding him for a relationship. IME, people like that don't change, especially at his age. It's a lifestyle. If you choose to continue with him, and his domicile remains so infested, I would highly recommend only short stays within it, if you must visit. What you describe is far beyond 'messy'. It's unhealthy. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
milkmaterial Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 i wouldnt be able to resist and start asking him for money so i can buy pine-sol. lots of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Goose Chaser. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Maybe he's just waiting until he get's a woman who will do all the cleaning and washing for him. Seriously, though, I too find it very strange how he hasn't tried to hide it from you or make excuses. I have no idea what to make of that. Just tell him that you don't think it's a good idea for you to go round to his place anymore because it's so unhygienic, and it stinks. Since this will obviously mean no sex because he can't go round to your place, then I'm sure he'll start 'cleaning' up his act. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 There is one other very good, if minor reason why sex may not be on the cards at all.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lorelei_Lane Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 My husband's apartment when I started dating him wasn't near as bad as what the OP has described, but it was a mess. Over a weekend I cleaned it up though and it stayed that way. He was really embarrassed, but grateful I was patient. He kept it nice until I moved in with him and then I took over a bulk of the chores as he worked and I didn't have a job. I was curious at first, but after meeting my husband's family and speaking with his mom, it was mostly because he didn't know jack about cleaning. He has since helped me with the chores and we split them 50/50. If you say something to him and he's not interested in all at cleaning the place up, run for the hills. Fast. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I'm more of a "clutter" kind of guy, but not unsanitary. I usually keep foodstuffs thrown out and don't leave food or old pizza crusts out. I typically throw everything away that's food related. I also keep the house sprayed for pests, too. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Seriously, though, I too find it very strange how he hasn't tried to hide it from you or make excuses Yeah, usually men would at least run around putting stuff back in drawers and clothes in the hamper before a woman would come over, not sure why he would LEAVE it that way, knowing he has company on the way. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 There is one other very good, if minor reason why sex may not be on the cards at all.... Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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