Author chelle21689 Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 darren, who the heck said I was kicking him to the curb??? i never said that. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Taylor Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 darren, who the heck said I was kicking him to the curb??? i never said that. Your defensive 'tude is proving my point. Subconsciously, you're put off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 Uh..sorry you're wrong but I am not that mean, lol. I'm hoping it'll be better. I'd like advice on how to handle this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
chuckles11 Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 I find it hard to believe that this guy has had a 7 month relationship before. Are you sure of this? How old was he during this relationship? The fact that he was scared to kiss you for three months is evidence that he has very little experience. You are definitely going to have to "train" him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 I think he was about 19 which would be 2 years ago. His last relationship was a year ago which only was about 4 months I think. But he really is an awesome guy though. We're a lot alike in our personality and everyone says so haha. We like the same things, same view, same humor, he is adventurous, good heart, understanding, open-minded, makes me laugh, and I just like talking and being in his company. I can't throw that away on one kiss. I think I'm going to stick it out to see if it gets better. Link to post Share on other sites
SomewhatExperienced Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I consider myself a good kisser. I'd say that almost every girl I've made out with has commented on me being a good kisser. I have also kissed girls that suck at it, but it's not all lost. If you know how you like to kiss, when you have your first make out session take the lead. Kiss him the way you want him to kiss you and don't break that rhythm. It'll start out not meshing but if you stick with it he should change how he kisses so that your kissing works better together and he'll just learn over time. If he doesn't change from that, gently tell him fFollow me" and let him try to mimic you. Whatever you do don't tell him "you suck at kissing, let me teach you" because that may hurts his ego. Just let him think that you enjoy kissing him and want him to do it a certain way. If you nicely work out a dynamic where you lead and he follows you might find it kinda fun, like a game. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 He's talking about what a lousy kisser you are to his friends and also wondering if he should stop seeing you. How do you know you're such a great kisser? Get him alone with no time constraints and then get busy. Don't rush the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I know some people think you're (OP) making a big deal out of this, but it is a big deal. The same thing happened to me last week! I kissed this guy I've known for years and just started hanging out with alone, and it was HORRIBLE. I mean beyond horrible. And bizarre. Like his tongue would go to weird places in my mouth and no circling around my tongue, and aggressive. And he said weird things during it. I am so turned off now I don't even want to talk to him. I could never subject myself to that agony again, so we can't date. It's really that simple. If kissing was that weird and uncomfortable, I don't even want to imagine what sex would be like. And I can't ask him to change everything about the way he kisses to make me happy (I'd be really upset if someone did this to me). I don't think most adults want to be trained on how to kissed (and I assume you don't want to train anyone anyway). You have a hard decision to make. I guess you could give him another chance if you're up for it, but other than that I don't know what you can do. I hate when something that shouldn't be an issue is an issue (like kissing). I don't have the time or the energy to deal with things like this. I agree with this. For me kissing is ridiculously important. A bad kiss is just... horrible. I get instantly turned off by bad kisses. But with me, I'm generally not that invested (I wouldn't go 3 months without a kiss!) so it's easy to let them go. I say give him another chance and maybe it'll be better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) Wow, there seems to be a lot of bitter guys on here that like to be all rude. @Mitchell, I'm not saying I'm a great kisser and I wasn't thinking about stop seeing him. I just want advice on what to do...and I was just explaining how he kisses way too fast and it didn't feel good. Anyways, I was thinking about how to fix this and I came up with something. Tell me if this is a good idea, lol. I will basically blame myself that I need him to teach me or that I need practice. I'll tell him that I'm not very experienced and would like him to show me how he likes to be kissed and vice versa...try different ways that we both like =P That way I make it seem like I need help and not him! HAHAH I never thought that a bad kiss would make you feel so turned off and unattracted. I mean, I am still attracted but I have to admit it killed the fantasy. Edited May 10, 2011 by chelle21689 Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I already asked, but got no response. What exactly do you think good kissing consists of, anyway, for the first kisses? I definitely PREFER having lots of lip action, with little tongue action, until the kissing gets more heated. I HATE having someone stick their tongue in my mouth, especially if they have a big tongue. So his kisses sound pretty good to me. Link to post Share on other sites
FrostFire Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) Chelle, that sounds so cute and will make the guy feel so great about himself. Good for you for doing this. Me having never kissed a girl before my first girlfriend I can tell you I was very "aggressive" with my tongue to fast so it was weird and awkward because I really did have no idea what the hell to do. I mean yeah I've seen movies but they really don't show you what's happening inside. What was cute though was how my girlfriend used my "aggressive fast tongue" as a really naughty joke . How she would love to feel that tongue on her... well you get the idea. It boosted my ego for the bedroom. However, she did use the inexperience idea almost like yours. However, it was also me that was worried due to lack of experience so I was the one that initially brought it up which turned out to be very playful afterwards. It took us a few more tries, it was very fun, very stimulating, and now we love kissing ALL the time lol. It's all how good you make the guy feel about himself without damaging his self-esteem or ego too much. It's tricky but you have the right approach. Good Luck! Edited May 10, 2011 by FrostFire Link to post Share on other sites
jane100 Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Good luck Chelle! The training thing sounds a good idea, hopefully not too long a course I'm with the others here, and your concern is valid. A great kiss is like heaven, a horrible kiss feels like some kind of crime against humanity! Link to post Share on other sites
Irishlove Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I have an experience to share. I had a guy I really liked but did not kiss good to me. I taught him. I told him to lay still still and let me do the work. So he opend his mouth slightly and I kissed him. He learned. I told him to suck his spit and breath through his nose. He ended up kissing quite nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) @ Disinterested, Sorry if I'm some weirdo and I'm not like the others where I'm already f**king a guy...My ex and I kissed and was fine it wasn't a big deal. But this, it's just different with every couple. I see nothing wrong with communicating needs. @Lucky One, I don't think I'm picky. I prefer a mix of tongue and lips with a good rythym. Different pressures...doesn't have to stay the same. I mean as long as he's not -drooling -eating my face - sticking his tongue down my throat -stinky bad breath then I think the kiss is salvageable. But the way he did it was way too fast and had no rhythm. His tongue just didn't know what to do, like moved it around aimlessly haha. It's funny how it wasn't a good kiss but I definitely do look forward to kissing him again and trying. Edited May 10, 2011 by chelle21689 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 More important things like sex??? It's very common for girls to be upset with a kiss if it's not pleasant...I just think it's a big thing to me. But then again with my ex, as we progressed into our sexual relationship the kissing was less and we only did that while umm doing it haha. And I will be communicating, just in a way where it doesn't hurt his feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
waynesworld Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Hey OP, there's nothing wrong with being disappointed in his kissing. It's important, and if he isn't good at it, that's on him, not you. I think you're handling this with a lot of tact. This guy is lucky to have another shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chelle21689 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 Okay whatever you say Disinterested. Link to post Share on other sites
sanskrit Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 Guess there will soon be a "After three months I finally kissed him and almost had an orgasm! should I dump him for obviously being a player?" thread to compliment this one. Both of you were nervous, OP. If kissing doesn't improve as you get more comfortable with each other, and he doesn't take your subtle cues to kiss you how you want to be kissed, then start worrying. Link to post Share on other sites
Irishlove Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 You have to be careful about that. Make the mouth too dry and it will be like sandpaper. Some will breathe very hard if forced to through their nose so that isn't always best. Suck the spit out of his mouth, some guys let the spit gather instead of swallowing during a kiss. A man def needs to moisten his lips but not to the point they are wet. Link to post Share on other sites
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