lolo1234 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 He has brought up marriage and kids so he obviously sees a long term future there. He wants you to meet his family... why are you hesitant to do this, is it because he hasn't said I love you. I dunno, I think you should tell him you love him. You do love him right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author IceIceBaby Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 He has brought up marriage and kids so he obviously sees a long term future there. He wants you to meet his family... why are you hesitant to do this, is it because he hasn't said I love you. I dunno, I think you should tell him you love him. You do love him right? I have met his family many times. I've met his entire extended family and spend alot of time with his immediate family. I'm hesitant to go on this vacation because I feel like vacationing with his family is a big deal. It's something his ex (the 7 year relationship) did but he loved her. The part of me that's hurt wants to be like "I'll come when you love me." Ridiculous maybe, but it's how I feel. I mean his parents are renewing their vows on this trip. Pretty big deal. And yes I do love him, but if I say it and he doesn't say it back...that'll kill me. Link to post Share on other sites
chuckles11 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 I have met his family many times. I've met his entire extended family and spend alot of time with his immediate family. I'm hesitant to go on this vacation because I feel like vacationing with his family is a big deal. It's something his ex (the 7 year relationship) did but he loved her. The part of me that's hurt wants to be like "I'll come when you love me." Ridiculous maybe, but it's how I feel. I mean his parents are renewing their vows on this trip. Pretty big deal. And yes I do love him, but if I say it and he doesn't say it back...that'll kill me. Really? So you'd rather sit around agonizing over whether he loves you or not than actually find out whether he does once and for all? You've already implied it would be a big issue if he didn't give you the "I love you return" at this point in the relationship, so why not just end the suspense? Not only will that information not kill you, it will allow you to make an informed decision about the future of your relationship. The method you are using now: refusing to commit to the vacation while making veiled comments about the emotional status of your relationship, just seems like its going to lead to bunch of unnecessary drama. He is not going to be able to figure out why you don't want to go on the trip. If this is how you act when other things are bothering you, I'm not surprised that he feels insecure and that he can't read you. Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 You're right, he doesn't love you. I think he is just looking for a wife, after all 33 is the age when most men settle down. If you have been serious for 9 months and he only "likes" you then you shouldn't be in this relationship since you are looking for more. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 My heart was ripped out, stomped on, shoved through a meat grinder, made into a hamburger, eaten, and crapped out. Only to be stepped on and smushed into the ground...well, you get the picture. No matter how badly I hurt at one point it has never stopped me from loving anyone or expressing that love verbally AND through actions. That is one terrible excuse to not say I love you. We've all been hurt and we all have to move on. Say it to him. If he doesn't say it back you have your answer. It will hurt if he doesn't and you need to walk away but at least you won't be living in limbo. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 I have met his family many times. I've met his entire extended family and spend alot of time with his immediate family. I'm hesitant to go on this vacation because I feel like vacationing with his family is a big deal. It's something his ex (the 7 year relationship) did but he loved her. The part of me that's hurt wants to be like "I'll come when you love me." Ridiculous maybe, but it's how I feel. I mean his parents are renewing their vows on this trip. Pretty big deal. And yes I do love him, but if I say it and he doesn't say it back...that'll kill me. honestly, dont take this personal...but your man is being a punk about it. he probably has strong feelings for you but doesnt want to say the words cause he thinks it is going to give you some extra power over him and change the dynamics of the relationship. he like things just the way they are and he doesnt want anything to mess it up. he is just plalying it cool. Men feel like saying I love you makes you get a little bit of a up on them...in a kinda sort way. he probably wants to make sure about his feelings before he starts throwing them around. I know, I been there..on both sides. I have been crushed to my soul by a man and I damm sure aint throwing feelings around and love sht around very easily anymore. I rather keep a logical head for the most part. Dont get me wrong, love is so good but it can be so painful too. It can tear your whole world up side down. I wouldnt say it first. Let him be the man and give you the gift of saying it to you. he will respect you even more. If more time has past and he still cant get it out...I would find that to be a problem. It is still fresh right now. Link to post Share on other sites
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