carrie410 Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Hi, I was wondering if anyone knows or has an idea of the "rules" of having a friend with benefits. I have been making out with this guy friend over the past two months, and everything was going great and I haven't told anyone about it an he hasn't either, everyone thinks we are just friends. The problem is that he keeps telling me to behave myself if I go out and he is not there, he also tells me that he is watching me wherever I go and that I shoulnd't drink if he is not there and that he gets jeallos. All of these comments are confusing me, cuz I want to date other men while I keep making out with my him, but I don't know if he wants something else. I kind of brought it up and he kinda of made it seemed that I was the one who wanted something serious!!! what's going on? why is he telling me to behave when I go out and that he gets jeallous??! I mean if he is just kidding, he shouldn't make those comments at all. Are there any rules into having a friend with benefit? can you make those type of comments? Very confused, Carrie Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 Rules??? I think the only "rules" should be the ones that both of you set...if ALL you want is a make-out "friend" and you still want to date other men YOU should make that clear to him....if you want MORE than just being "friends" with him you should let him know that as well...if ya'll can communicate enough to "make out" you should be able to be adult enough to have a clear conversation about what both of you are looking for from the relationship....why would you "make out" with someone when you're not looking to be with just him?? Doesn't that seem a little "loose" to you? No offense.... Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted April 5, 2004 Share Posted April 5, 2004 That whole f*ckbuddy thing can really be a problem when one of the people start developing feelings....beyond just physical. I had a friend like that after my lovelife turned into a monumental fiasco. I can truly say if it weren't for this man....I may have never been able to pick up my pride. I felt like the biggest LOSER in the world....plus I cried all the time. He always treated me with respect, caring and even a splash of romance. There was a time. months later, when we both knew at almost the same time that we were getting beyond where the 'agreement' was. Neither of us were prepared to go there, nor had we even developed a foundation to grow on which was healthy. I had baggage....he had sex issues....it would've been a mess. To this day though, he will be one of the fondest memories I will ever have and I will forever cherish what he represented in my life. Was it cheap sex??? Not at all. We both saved each other. Where do you go when feelings develep? Probably best to walk away from it. Maybe later, you'll join up again and can reunite in a more socially acceptable way. Link to post Share on other sites
Dug Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 It has been my personal experience that it is extremely difficult for men & women to remain "just friends". It seems that one or the other always develops "feelings" for the other. The TV show "Friends" was a bit unrealistic in this sense, however .....Rachel did make her rounds over the span of the show. Even though it was scripted..the same thing kept happening to her and her close male friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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