shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Hi all, ive been here for awhile now explaning my situation all over. So i just decided to continue my journey here, so that everybody can see. This is a journey towards RECONCILIATION, so keep that in mind when reading or replying. I hope to get the best advice possible, as i have been already. So thanx. The previous story can be heard here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=268912 Today, I have to see her at school. 99% positive shes gonna be there. And im prepared to walk past as if shes not there, but i just need confirmation that thats the right thing to do. Its my LAST chance to see her for a week, next week is spring break. So am i handling this situation the best? Is seeing me walk past her, for the last time in like 10 days, gonna hurt HER more than it will ME? Because i fkn cried again last night... I was going thru youtube videos and just teared up cuz something MADE me look at break up songs... it sucks and im hurt. But i know i have to fake like everything is ok, be strong and walk past her... Right? its gonna be killing her more than me? Also one of my friends from school has her on fb and offered his password to me... I looked at her page and nothin was out the ordinary. i just looked cuz i was nosey... and i may attempt to look here and there again but ill get better with this, and try to stop.
Layzie89 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Make sure if you pass by her today, do NOT stop and talk. Walk passed her with confidence..head up not down. I have a feeling you're gonna jet past her head down looking at your feet holding your breath lol....walk past her looking like you just banged her best friend friend and her sister. (With that kind of confidence) On a more sour note, I'm going to have to slap your wrist Shawn. You deleted your FB for a reason. TO HEAL. TO STOP STALKING. And here you are, accepting your friends fb password so you can snoop around more. Why? Do you want to get hurt more? I'm pretty sure you ASKED him for his password, didn't you? I actually really wish she had posted something about another guy, or put up a picture with another guy and you saw it so you would have learned your lesson the hard way as many of us have!!!! Tell your friend to change his password and don't ever ask anyone for there FB passwords ever again shawn. I know it's tough...to resist. My friend asked me too if I wanted his password so I can see my ex's profile about 3 weeks ago. As much as I wanted to, god damn I wanted to so bad...I knew it wouldn't be good for me. It would have set me back so much...thank god.
Author shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Lol i passed by her... I was with a friend so I was talking to him. He stopped by the door to throw something out, and when i turned me n her made eye contact... I just looked away and kept talking to my friend, then we left. I was so nervous for me reason!! As far as fb, i dont think that will hurt me... Seeing her with a dude, or in a relationship, honestly that'll probably make me hate her. Like "B!tch! how could you!" type of thing... i dont think i would be any more heart broken... I only did it to see if she put something up about what happened between us, but she didnt, everything was normal... so i mean i can try to be more NC when it comes to looking at her page, but i dont think its settin me back... honestly! i mean if it was hurting me, i'd stop.
Author shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 UPDATE: Ok so after i walked out, after mistakenly making eye contact, I said bye to my friend then headed out to my car. Then i felt it... I ran into the car, slammed the door, and weeped my eyes out idk why... And i was literally talking to myself, "why doesnt she want me?" "why the ***c does it gotta be like this?"...... I was a wreck. I was textin my good friend at the same time n he revealed to me he had been thru the exact same thing last semester... he just told me TIME HEALS ALL. he had the SAME 2 CLASSES with his ex! Which musta been hell. He said she would come to class looking EXTRA good, JUST to get the other guys in class to flirt with her, in front of him... He said it took a couple months, but eventually he distanced himself... BACK to me, why the ***C am i still crying!?!?!? i know i shouldnt be... i have every reason to leave her alone for good. Yet its just the whole situation, me feeling ALONE, just kills me... I cant listen to the radio, EVERY love song pisses me off n tears me up... I hate this feeling. I hate it even more because i have no idea if she even feels half the pain i am. I wish i knew if she missed me or not...
geegirl Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Lol i passed by her... I was with a friend so I was talking to him. He stopped by the door to throw something out, and when i turned me n her made eye contact... I just looked away and kept talking to my friend, then we left. I was so nervous for me reason!! As far as fb, i dont think that will hurt me... Seeing her with a dude, or in a relationship, honestly that'll probably make me hate her. Like "B!tch! how could you!" type of thing... i dont think i would be any more heart broken... I only did it to see if she put something up about what happened between us, but she didnt, everything was normal... so i mean i can try to be more NC when it comes to looking at her page, but i dont think its settin me back... honestly! i mean if it was hurting me, i'd stop. Trust me when I say that when you actually see her with another guy, you will realize that you will be or more heart broken. You will be hurt. What you don't know won't hurt you. I've had to hammer that in my head. Everytime I had some sort of contact, no matter how minute, it hurt me all over again. Stay away from FB. You think you are emotionally strong, but you aren't right now. I'm just trying to get over my ex. I used to tell him that I was over him and didn't care about seeing him with someone else. And we were months NC until I met him one day. The day I saw him with another woman (bar fly for the matter) it literally threw me back to raw pain. Now, when I think of breaking NC, I just tell myself that I am doing this for a reason and that reason is to get me to a better place emotionally and mentally and nothing else. If you break NC by checking her FB, you keep yourself rolling around in a puddle of emotional s***, when you should be trying to dust off, clean up and get out. Don't overestimate your emotional strength. At least not yet. Cut contact. Every form of contact. Anything that ties you to her. Trust me, NC is to focus on YOU and getting yourself healed. You can't heal if you keep focusing on her and what she is doing. Everytime you entertain thoughts of her or checking her FB, you keep yourself connected to her. Defeats the purpose of NC being a healing tool for you. She is your source of pain. STAY AWAY FROM YOUR SOURCE OF PAIN. NO CONTACT = NO NEW HURTS. Stay off her FB. You'll curse the day you see her with someone else. And then you'll have start nursing an open wound all over again.
Author shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Hmmm. I guess. I mean its only ME looking at her page... But i mean if its for the best then ill stop. I was only checking because i was calling her bluff. I wanted to really see just WHY she didnt wanna get back with me. Maybe it was something she couldnt post on fb that NOW she can cuz im not around?? Idk, im just curious. Im sure no human being, especially heartbroken, can blame me for being curious! But as far as everything else, and where we stand now, im pretty sure i followed NC correctly. I put my foot down, wasnt an *******, and left her wanting for more answers and never got them. Its almost as if I DUMPED HER how she was asking why? and "i didnt need space" and "i think this is because of a girl" alll questions in which I never answered. simply told her being friends wont work. Figure out whats best for you. and You can always get what u want. So hopefully this is a huge wake up call for her over the next few days, weeks, maybe months... And im holding firm, i wont be talking to her unless she wants to hangout, which i already know WILL lead to reconciliation... We're much to flirtacious to be around one another and NOT spark something up. SO unless she comes back, begging, wanting to "hangout", then sure, (in my mind ill be thrilled), but "ill fit her in my schedule, casually"... but hey, thats only a dream... time to wake up, and ignore this immature chick who destroyed my heart in under 3 months... Reality hurts so much...
geegirl Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Hmmm. I guess. I mean its only ME looking at her page... But i mean if its for the best then ill stop. I was only checking because i was calling her bluff. I wanted to really see just WHY she didnt wanna get back with me. Maybe it was something she couldnt post on fb that NOW she can cuz im not around?? Idk, im just curious. Im sure no human being, especially heartbroken, can blame me for being curious! But as far as everything else, and where we stand now, im pretty sure i followed NC correctly. I put my foot down, wasnt an *******, and left her wanting for more answers and never got them. Its almost as if I DUMPED HER how she was asking why? and "i didnt need space" and "i think this is because of a girl" alll questions in which I never answered. simply told her being friends wont work. Figure out whats best for you. and You can always get what u want. So hopefully this is a huge wake up call for her over the next few days, weeks, maybe months... And im holding firm, i wont be talking to her unless she wants to hangout, which i already know WILL lead to reconciliation... We're much to flirtacious to be around one another and NOT spark something up. SO unless she comes back, begging, wanting to "hangout", then sure, (in my mind ill be thrilled), but "ill fit her in my schedule, casually"... but hey, thats only a dream... time to wake up, and ignore this immature chick who destroyed my heart in under 3 months... Reality hurts so much... It's only you looking at her page. And it's only you that's crying and feeling hurt. She doesn't want to get back because she has her reasons. Leave it at that. You can analyze this to death and you won't get your answers. I understand you being curious, but if you really want to make a conscious solid choice to move forward you have to be determined to follow through with 100% NC. Curiousity will burn you. You know the pot is hot so stop touching it! You are following NC, that's great. Now you need to stop analyzing what happened and who said what and what said who. Just keeping away via actions is not enough. You have to control your thoughts. Control both action and thought and you will heal from this. One thought about her and you will have 50 other thoughts about her trailing behind you. When you think of her or start analyzing, stop and feed yourself with something about you, school, work, family, plans with friends...something other than her. I've been trying this for a week and I am feeling better. My head was wrapped up around him for so long and it kept me stuck. Granted I was keeping physical NC, but the mind was in full blown contact. You have to stop analyzing her words and her actions. It is none of your concern anymore. Your concern is you. Your actions are to benefit you. Your thoughts are to fulfill you. Stop wondering how you will fit her in and if she comes back and it's all a dream and all of that. NC is to focus on you. Your healing. You getting emotionally stronger so that when/if she does come back you will be able to make mentally sound decisions -- not emotionally. Who knows by then you would not even want to be with her. You will see the situation in a totally different light. But you can't get there if you look at FB, if you keep analyzing the situation to death...the horse is dead. Leave it alone. Focus on you. We've all been hurt. It's just something we all have to go through. But you will heal and learn from this. Pain isn't for the weak, it's for the strong. You are strong. You just have to give yourself a fighting chance. You will get there. It won't always hurt this way. NC actions. NC thoughts. Try. It will be hard but you will have to try.
Author shawn923 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 It's only you looking at her page. And it's only you that's crying and feeling hurt. She doesn't want to get back because she has her reasons. Leave it at that. You can analyze this to death and you won't get your answers. I understand you being curious, but if you really want to make a conscious solid choice to move forward you have to be determined to follow through with 100% NC. Curiousity will burn you. You know the pot is hot so stop touching it! You are following NC, that's great. Now you need to stop analyzing what happened and who said what and what said who. Just keeping away via actions is not enough. You have to control your thoughts. Control both action and thought and you will heal from this. One thought about her and you will have 50 other thoughts about her trailing behind you. When you think of her or start analyzing, stop and feed yourself with something about you, school, work, family, plans with friends...something other than her. I've been trying this for a week and I am feeling better. My head was wrapped up around him for so long and it kept me stuck. Granted I was keeping physical NC, but the mind was in full blown contact. You have to stop analyzing her words and her actions. It is none of your concern anymore. Your concern is you. Your actions are to benefit you. Your thoughts are to fulfill you. Stop wondering how you will fit her in and if she comes back and it's all a dream and all of that. NC is to focus on you. Your healing. You getting emotionally stronger so that when/if she does come back you will be able to make mentally sound decisions -- not emotionally. Who knows by then you would not even want to be with her. You will see the situation in a totally different light. But you can't get there if you look at FB, if you keep analyzing the situation to death...the horse is dead. Leave it alone. Focus on you. We've all been hurt. It's just something we all have to go through. But you will heal and learn from this. Pain isn't for the weak, it's for the strong. You are strong. You just have to give yourself a fighting chance. You will get there. It won't always hurt this way. NC actions. NC thoughts. Try. It will be hard but you will have to try. WOW this is some great advice... thanks... it will be hard not to look at her fb. but hey at least i can handle not callin, textin, or seeing her... im gonna try my best and forget her. Time Heals All...
joshextreme Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 WOW this is some great advice... thanks... it will be hard not to look at her fb. but hey at least i can handle not callin, textin, or seeing her... im gonna try my best and forget her. Time Heals All... why dont you just block her on fb? i just blocked my ex haha
Author shawn923 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 I did. but i have my friends account so i can still see her page if i wanted... im trying to stop day by day but i still find myself with the urge to check, even tho she cant see NONE of mines It might be at least a week until i'll be able to not care what she does on fb anymore... but im getting there. babysteps. time heals all...
Author shawn923 Posted March 21, 2011 Author Posted March 21, 2011 UPDATE: NC STILL fully intact... she hasnt tried to contact me... I was about to head to bed, when i found myself peaking at my ex's page... i know im not suppose to but im gettin better with it. anyways, she put up a status saying "In a bad state of mind!"... Then her and her best friend start commenting on it, and my ex said "for the first time in 20 years im not content with myself" then they say lets talk in private... NOW I KNOW i shouldnt be peeking at her page or even analyzing the things shes does... but, keeping in mind my goal is reconciliation, what DO i think of this??
WTRanger Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 You are drawing conclusions based on your own delusions. For all you know her comment was meant to say, "Man, I've looked at my past and all I've dated was complete losers (especially that last guy). I need to rethink who I am attracted to and go find myself a mature man." It does not mean she's thinking about you. It does not mean she wants to try again. You are making those connections in your own mind. You'll never stand a chance at reconciliation with her. Since you can't go one lousy day without her in your life in some sort of fashion, and yes, doing the junior high tactic of using a friends account just to peep her page takes the taco of pathetic. If she does try to talk to you in the next few months, she'll see that you are still the love-sick, stalker, needy person she left in the first place. Why? Becuase you haven't convinced yourself that you can go one day without her. What do you think she'd say if you admitted to her what you've been doing? Do you think she'd say, "Oh, stalking, that's so romantic! Take me now!" You are failing at NC. A week to get over her on FB? Buuuuuuulllll-flipping-sh*t! It'll take months, or never, at your pace. You aren't even making baby steps, unless you are baby that can moonwalk. You aren't getting better with it. YOU ARE STILL CHECKING! How is that better? That's like an alcoholic saying, "Well I haven't had a drink in 2 weeks thanks to this heroin." You are addicted to her, plain and simple. You get a rush from seeing her page. You seek that rush no matter what. You need to deal with the pain of the DT's. Time can't heal anything if you keep picking at the scab. You have to stop the bleeding first. You are right in one aspect, no one can blame you for being curious. We've all been there. But we can blame you for having no willpower to stop yourself. Sure, I'm curious to see inside my own ass. But you won't find me squatting over a mirror trying to aim a flashlight. Next time you want to check her FB page, have your friend punch you in the balls. It's the same feeling. At least it will hurt less than when you will inevitably see that post from her to a new guy, or her change in relationship status, or party pics, or any other of the host of things that have brought people back to LS crying rivers over Facebook crap.
Thatguyintx Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Next time you want to check her FB page, have your friend punch you in the balls. It's the same feeling. At least it will hurt less than when you will inevitably see that post from her to a new guy, or her change in relationship status, or party pics, or any other of the host of things that have brought people back to LS crying rivers over Facebook crap. Very helpful advice! Actually made me laugh out loud!
Layzie89 Posted March 21, 2011 Posted March 21, 2011 Couldn't have said it better WTRanger. Shawn, after you read my post, go back and read rangers again. He speaks the truth.
Author shawn923 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 (edited) Well ok checking her page "hurts" me, which it doesnt at all, but isee where ur coming from. U think im still stalking and stuck over her... which i AM, lol, but i think u guys are blowing it up too much... You forget, i totally erased her in every other aspect in life. I consider lookin at her fb equal to like me keeping her number in phone. OF COURSE i still have her number in my phone... its not like just cuz its there it "hurts" me, or just cuz i still have her # means i havent went NC and im stalking her... Its like having my other ex prom pictures in my walet, which i have since hs... I consider checkin her fb from a mutual friend harmless, and doesnt do anything to break NC. Why? because she DOESNT KNOW im lookin at it... in her eyes still, Ive dropped her out my life totally and have made NO attempts at contacting her since that day... Now, what i choose to do as far as snooping on her page, its just me being curious... Knowing i cant see her page, her status updates have slowed down A LOT. she used to have all sorts of updates about other guys and such and about how much fun she was having. She seemed on top of the world. NOW, since snooping on her page, im realizing those were all fabrications to GET me jealous. After all, IF she really moved on from me, she wouldnt have cared that I erased her as a friend. And thus, she would have continued to post awesome things... and IF she truly moved on, she WOULD STILL be putting up pictures with new guys, or hop in a new relationship anyway. Because knowing i cant see her page, she WOULDNT GIVE A F*CK if i was her friend or not, she would LIVE HER LIFE... and thats NOT what shes doing... Sooooo, long story short, snooping has given me a peek in her life, without me letting up NC in anyway... make sense? I mean, my goal is to get back with her... and still is. Which is why i need to see if one day she gets in a relationship, i swear to god, THAT day i will give up all hope of ever gettin back with her... but, her no longer writing these lovely statuses makes me think she was just doing it to get me jealous... which still makes me think in the process. And i know its immature, stalking, blah blah blah whatever. at the end of the day ima make my own decisions, i HAVE to listen to MY heart. and if i can handle snooping on her page without getting hurt, THEN LET ME... just say "i told u so" when i walk away heartbroken. Edited March 22, 2011 by shawn923
JasonRules Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Shawn, Stalking your ex on FB using a friend's account is actually pretty pathetic and creepy. She dumped you, yet here you are like a sick puppy still ogling over her every move, checking out what she's posting, what kind of conversations she's having etc. There is a difference between love and obsession. And you my friend are obsessed. You are not in NC. Do you know what NC means? Just that, no contact, which also includes stalking them on FB. Are you a man? Do you have an ounce of pride left in you? Close the FB account crap, defriend her from your FB page, and stop keeping tabs on her. NC is meant for you to MOVE ON, not play games and stalk. What do you think is going to happen when you check out her page and she posts photos with the new guy she will eventually meet? What do you think is going to happen when she changes her relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship"? My girl and I didn't work out, but I don't sit and creep out on her FB page, ask about her, stalk her, call her, text her etc. No contact means no contact. I even told my friends to NOT TELL ME what she's doing or if she's met anyone. I do not want to know anything.
Layzie89 Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 If you're going to continue using your friends FB password to stalk your ex girlfriends page, please shawn, do not come back to LS when you see she posts up a picture of her and another guy or she's flirting with other guys on her wall. You're saying "That kind of stuff won't hurt me, I'm strong...it wont affect me." Get the **** outta here shawn...you're miles and miles behind most of us here when it comes to healing don't be such a fool. You say it won't hurt you now but just wait and see. On second thought, please, keep STALKING your ex gf's page shawn. I can't wait for you to get hurt so you an come here crying and all of us can say "We told you so." I still cannot believe you are in college...the way you're handling this whole thing is as if you are still in high school..maybe even junior high. Grow up shawn.
Author shawn923 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 Cool. And when I get her back I won't be on here either Seriously why do ppl comment if ur just gonna chew me out? DONT reply if ur not gonna help me. I TOLD u what i was gonna do... now either give me advice on WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO or leave me alone... that simple. Lmao and im glad im a stalker, etc, cuz YOU SEEM NOT TO REALIZE THAT YOUVE ALL BEEN PLAYING THIS "NC" GAME FOR MONTHS!!! AND YEARS!!! and ur still sad and lonely AND she NEVER came back. SO WHY THE F*CK WOULD I CHOOSE UR ADVICE??? u didnt get anywhere. And now ur searching for advice on a website MONTHS after u already got dumped... telling me like "oh do what i did! going NC works! so u can end up a lonely wreck like me! and if u dont, ur a STALKER! We're all sad n lonely on this website and ur trying to avoid that shawn! your a loser! this is a website for the weak hearted!"................ i swear to god thats how im interpreting it... lmao... yall need to grow up. I already dropped her out my life, now im a HUGE stalker for looking at her fb page??? lmao yall are hilarious and it just shows me im getting the wrong advice from ppl that dont understand me. LEAVE ME ALONE if u have nothing positive say. and if u dont, then i'll just leave this web site for good and take my REAL LIFE friends advice, who actually know me and agree with everything i been doing... they FEEL for me because they know i still want her, and TRY to help me as much as possible. So in no way do i NEED ur advice. If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it all. Thank u!
Layzie89 Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Cool. And when I get her back I won't be on here either Seriously why do ppl comment if ur just gonna chew me out? DONT reply if ur not gonna help me. I TOLD u what i was gonna do... now either give me advice on WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO or leave me alone... that simple. Lmao and im glad im a stalker, etc, cuz YOU SEEM NOT TO REALIZE THAT YOUVE ALL BEEN PLAYING THIS "NC" GAME FOR MONTHS!!! AND YEARS!!! and ur still sad and lonely AND she NEVER came back. SO WHY THE F*CK WOULD I CHOOSE UR ADVICE??? u didnt get anywhere. And now ur searching for advice on a website MONTHS after u already got dumped... telling me like "oh do what i did! going NC works! so u can end up a lonely wreck like me! and if u dont, ur a STALKER! We're all sad n lonely on this website and ur trying to avoid that shawn! your a loser! this is a website for the weak hearted!"................ i swear to god thats how im interpreting it... lmao... yall need to grow up. I already dropped her out my life, now im a HUGE stalker for looking at her fb page??? lmao yall are hilarious and it just shows me im getting the wrong advice from ppl that dont understand me. LEAVE ME ALONE if u have nothing positive say. and if u dont, then i'll just leave this web site for good and take my REAL LIFE friends advice, who actually know me and agree with everything i been doing... they FEEL for me because they know i still want her, and TRY to help me as much as possible. So in no way do i NEED ur advice. If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it all. Thank u! I feel bad for you Shawn. But I feel more bad for your ex girlfriend having been with you...you're a stalker, obsessive ex boyfriend and to be honest..I'd be surprised if any girl ever wants to be with you. Bashing us for NC...telling us were still lonely months, years after doing NC and were still lonely because of it? You got some balls for a 13 year old. Don't ever expect me to give you advice again Shawn. We're all here trying to look out for each other..we're telling you this stuff because we know IT WILL hurt you..we've made the mistakes you're making now and we're just trying to prevent you from further heartbreak but you're a immature, ignorant little brat. I hope you never get your ex back (I'm quite sure you wont) and I truly hope you live a very long, very miserable life alone, by yourself, til death.
Chi townD Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t269424/ This is why we do NC. Last piece of advice from me. Except y'all is improper english, but if you use it it's y'all NOT yall.
JasonRules Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Cool. And when I get her back I won't be on here either Seriously why do ppl comment if ur just gonna chew me out? DONT reply if ur not gonna help me. I TOLD u what i was gonna do... now either give me advice on WHAT I CHOOSE TO DO or leave me alone... that simple. Lmao and im glad im a stalker, etc, cuz YOU SEEM NOT TO REALIZE THAT YOUVE ALL BEEN PLAYING THIS "NC" GAME FOR MONTHS!!! AND YEARS!!! and ur still sad and lonely AND she NEVER came back. SO WHY THE F*CK WOULD I CHOOSE UR ADVICE??? u didnt get anywhere. And now ur searching for advice on a website MONTHS after u already got dumped... telling me like "oh do what i did! going NC works! so u can end up a lonely wreck like me! and if u dont, ur a STALKER! We're all sad n lonely on this website and ur trying to avoid that shawn! your a loser! this is a website for the weak hearted!"................ i swear to god thats how im interpreting it... lmao... yall need to grow up. I already dropped her out my life, now im a HUGE stalker for looking at her fb page??? lmao yall are hilarious and it just shows me im getting the wrong advice from ppl that dont understand me. LEAVE ME ALONE if u have nothing positive say. and if u dont, then i'll just leave this web site for good and take my REAL LIFE friends advice, who actually know me and agree with everything i been doing... they FEEL for me because they know i still want her, and TRY to help me as much as possible. So in no way do i NEED ur advice. If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it all. Thank u! If you don't need anyone's advice then no reason to be posting asking for opinions. The consensus is that your behavior is immature, desperate, and childish. Posing as someone on FB just so you can "check out" your ex-girlfriend's profile is stalking regardless if you think it isn't. She left you. Accept it and move on. If she comes back, great and if she doesn't it won't matter because by using NC you will have gotten over her. However, your behavior is very high schoolish, but if you want to stalk her via FB then knock yourself out.
Author shawn923 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 @Layzie lmao ur hilarious!! I believe in karma... and THIS is why YOUR single! Why would u wish bad things toward someone else? Hoping i be alone forever?? Lmao. Keep wishing bad things on me, its gonna come RIGHT BACK TO YOU lmao... And I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR ADVICE. EVER. We went thru this last time and i told ur ass to leave me alone yet u still comment and try to talk down to me.. lmao u must not know IM a basketball player in CHICAGO in college with good looks that can pull mostly ANY girl i want. Im just attached to a particular one... OYU CANT SAY ANYTHING TO HURT MY FEELINGS LMAO i just laugh at these attempts from these old ass people tryna talk like im 10 hahahaha. IM NOT NO 30 YR OLD whos still strung up over an ex from 10 years ago, thinkin oh NC is gonna help me! So leave me the f*ck alone u f*ckin LAME... I NEVER ASKED ANY ADVICE FROM YOU EVER! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!
Author shawn923 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t269424/ This is why we do NC. Last piece of advice from me. Except y'all is improper english, but if you use it it's y'all NOT yall. I already have seen that thread... And commented in it!
Author shawn923 Posted March 22, 2011 Author Posted March 22, 2011 She left you. Accept it and move on. If she comes back, great and if she doesn't it won't matter because by using NC you will have gotten over her. However, your behavior is very high schoolish, but if you want to stalk her via FB then knock yourself out. THANK YOU... i dont need to be told how immature i am. IF i wanna look at her fb page, KNOCK MYSELF OUT... its my life, at least u can understand that... If im not getting hurt looking at her page, then let me do me. I think you guys are missing my point... Im trying to get back with her, not forget about her. And u can say go NC all u want, AND I DID... Im prepared to fall for another chick if the right one comes along. its not like this current ex is preventing me from finding happiness elsewhere... I just look at her page just in case theres something there thats telling me she regretted her decision. I dont see the problem in that... especially when she doesnt know any of it. Its not like im following her to her house everyday and throwing rocks at her window... TRUST ME when i say IM NOT STALKING!!! FB is like a online diary, im sure if any of u could peek into ur ex's diary WHILE she doesnt peek in yours, you most def would! So for now on gimme advice on HOW TO GET HER BACK... If u cant, then DONT REPLY AT ALL. Please... It's hard enough as it is getting a million different responses then trying to figure out which is best for me... and its hard.
geegirl Posted March 22, 2011 Posted March 22, 2011 Shawn, You said you totally erased her from your life. Checking to see what is going on in her life is you keeping yourself stuck in her life. Comparing keeping her number in your phone or a picture of her in your wallet is completely is not the same. Checking her FB and analyzing her words and trying to tie them into your situation is you keeping track of what is going on with this woman. Having a picture in your wallet or a phone number is you just having a picture and number. Taking a weekly peek into her life, is another story. It breaks NC because NC is to focus on your life (not hers), and to move on and heal. It's not for the intent of reconciling. It is for the intent of clearing the muddle in your head and heart and hopefully in time you have clarity mentally and emotionally. Then if she comes back, you can make a wise decision as to what you want. You might not even want her by then. But if you keep checking once a week, twice a month, then you keep yourself tied and connected and eventually stuck. You focus is to get your mind off of her but you can't if you keep going back. You need to stop feeding your thoughts and your actions. It doesn't matter that she doesn't know you are not looking. THIS IS NOT ABOUT HER. It is about you. If your intent is not to heal and shut her out till you get better and can deal with one day even looking at FB and seeing her with another guy and totally feeling indifferent, then keep looking. Every time you look, you take a few steps back. Stay out of her life if you want to heal. My ex lives down the street from me. Do you know how many times I have gone down the street wanting to just make one quick left turn to see who is parked in his drive way. I did it a few times after the break up. Didn't see any car. And I was cocky saying to myself, oh, just looking and if I see a car, so what, he's moved on. One day, I drive by and there's a car and he's making out with a girl in the car in his driveway. It killed me. Stop. And stop trying to think what she is thinking. Stop trying to analyze her words and what her intent is when she does certain things or says certain things. You need to worry about your actions and what you are trying to achieve by still trying to poke and prod. Peeking into her life is breaking NC. NC means no contact and that does not just mean a phone call or a text or talking, it most importantly means...focusing on your life and staying the hell out of hers and that means no analyzing her, tracking what goes on in her life and using it to get her back. People here are trying to help you. We can't tell you what you want to hear because that would mean just taking you and throwing you into the fire. Just because you don't want to hear what he have to say and because it goes against your strong feelings of denial, there is no need to act childish and arrogant. If you don't need advice, then screw the log.
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