Stabbing_thedrama Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Me and my ex-girlfriend was together for four mounths. I know it was a short relationship, but it was the first time I let myself fall in love with someone so deeply after my first breakup which totally broke my heart. Even if it didn't last long, I feel like this relationship was so deep, that it it's a hell to get over it. We're both in the same school and live in the same student apartment - which complicates the whole process of getting over her. I see her more or less everywhere, several times a day. Breakfast, lecture, dinner and supper. I see her all the time, and I'm barely able to look at her, because it only reminds me of what I'm missing by losing her, and it hurt when the memories rush through my head. It lasted for four mounths, but I gave so much of myself, and she gave much of herself too. We really got to know eachother, and we became great friends who shared everything in our lives. And on top of all that, we had the best sex I've ever experience in my life. Something which made us have sex two times after we broke up.. Both time with her still being completely sure about her decision, and me lying to both myself and her saying it was just sex to me, and I had no hope of us two getting back together by having sex. Truth be told, having sex with her was just a way of holding on to her as much as possible - denying it was over. She's one of those girls who has huge plans in her life. She wants to explore the world, experience foreign cultures, and help the people in the world who needs help. This ambition was a huge challenge to our releationship. She just couldn't prioritize me over those dreams she had, something which I accepted, and where able to work on, but she saw that I didn't get the attention i deserved, and that I was often sad because of that... and eventually, she ended the whole thing. She thought it was wrong of us to be together when I deserved much more attention than what she could give me. And she also said that she wasn't really in love with me, because if she was, she should be able to priority me above everything - but she wasnt able to do that.. Now, I've been to releationships before, but this is the most real relationship I've been in. We really dug deep into eachothers soul, and I love everything about her. We've had many talks after the breakup, and for each talk we have, she just seems more sure about her decision - mostly because I try to convince her too much about us being something we shouldn't give up. But she kept telling me ''I have no feelings for you anymore'', but eventhough she said that straight to my face, I couldn't make myself accept it. I knew her too much, and I knew she's just trying to convince herself that ending the relationship was the right decision.. she was unsure about the relationship for long, but she couldn't let go to begin with because she knew that there was something special we had. Eventhough she didn't love me as a boyfriend, she loved me. I'm trying to explain the situation as good as possible to you here in loveshack, but this lovestory is too complex to explain it in words. I don't know how to get over this girl, because she has everything I ever wished a girl should have. She's an original girl, different from every other girl I've ever been with. This make it impossible for me to look at her, because it reminds me of what I'm missing... and what I lost. I really want to be her friend, but I know I can't do that.. because I'll always hope we'll get back together.. but losing her as a friend is too much to take... All the talks we had was unique, and we helped eachother through dificult times.., And helped eachother get out of our thoughts.. I keep asking her if we can try having a friends with benefit relationship, because the times we slept with eachother after the breakup was wonderful, and she wants to have sex with me as much as I want to have sex with her. But she says she couldn't continue like that, because it wasn't fair to my feelings. The sex for her was just sex. And it's easier having with me, because she isn't used having sex with randoms. For me, I loved the sex because it was her... Eventhough her lust is as high as mine, she stops herself from having the sexual relationship I really wish we could have. That's when I lose my head, and I don't know what to do with this whole situation. I love her as my friend, and the sexual attraction I have for her is impossible to bear... somebody, please give me some advice, or give me a story to relate to... I know I love this girl for what she is, and I need her in my life, but it's already to late... but how do I survive this... what should I do when all I see when looking at other girls is how they're nothing compared to my ex. When I look my eyes I see her, think of her, and almost cry about the fact that she's not mine anymore. I am a mess. Somebody help me.
Good Arms Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I'm really, really sorry for the pain you're going through. My situation is similar in some ways - a short relationship where I feel deeply in love too fast. And now I have to face seeing her at work every day. I started a thread about that here, which I'm going to update shortly if I can face it. Seeing my ex brings the memories back every time, and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this Losing her as a friend is horrible, I know what you mean. I don't know, I'm really not in a state to bring anything positive here, I've been crying out for help to a God that I don't even believe in today FFS... just let it be known that you're not alone with this, there are many of us fighting to get over the person we invested so much in, obsessing 24/7 about someone who no longer loves us.
Author Stabbing_thedrama Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 I'm really, really sorry for the pain you're going through. My situation is similar in some ways - a short relationship where I feel deeply in love too fast. And now I have to face seeing her at work every day. I started a thread about that here, which I'm going to update shortly if I can face it. Seeing my ex brings the memories back every time, and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this Losing her as a friend is horrible, I know what you mean. I don't know, I'm really not in a state to bring anything positive here, I've been crying out for help to a God that I don't even believe in today FFS... just let it be known that you're not alone with this, there are many of us fighting to get over the person we invested so much in, obsessing 24/7 about someone who no longer loves us. I've read through your post, and it was extremely helpful! I'll stay tuned in your post instead of mine, since you got more replies than me. Thank you a lot for trying to help! Now, I've kind of made it more difficult to myself by having sex wih her twice after the breakup... makes it even harder to let her go. But she's going away from school for a couple of weeks, and we won't see eachother in a very long time, and that's going to be my opportunity to really work on forgetting her. I'm going to have NO CONTACT, and I've told her that I won't be able to be friends with her the way she wanted to... not for as long as we live on the same school, and eachtime we see eachother it puts me back to the start on my progress of forgetting her... The second time I slept with her after the breakup, it was awful to see how cold she was, and how emotionless she was about us. For her it was all about sex, and nothing more. She felt nothing she said. The sex was good, but it didn't light a spark in her at all... So, never ever do that same mistake as I did!
2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Hi I know only too well how you feel, although our RL wasn't as intense we seemed to have a really good connection and we could not see each other that much because of work commitments but then she just went cold and there was no way of talking her out of it or reasoning even though she said she still wanted to be with me I know really she was just saying that as a cover for I have no feelings for you anymore. It's a shame to think how it can be over without any real effort or investment when people get the first sign of a problem they run instead of facing it and trying to solve it. There's one thing to learn from this and that is you cannot change other people and you do not know what is going on in their head or their personal lives either. 2011
shawn923 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Me and my ex-girlfriend was together for four mounths. I know it was a short relationship, but it was the first time I let myself fall in love with someone so deeply after my first breakup which totally broke my heart. Even if it didn't last long, I feel like this relationship was so deep, that it it's a hell to get over it. We're both in the same school and live in the same student apartment - which complicates the whole process of getting over her. I see her more or less everywhere, several times a day. Breakfast, lecture, dinner and supper. I see her all the time, and I'm barely able to look at her, because it only reminds me of what I'm missing by losing her, and it hurt when the memories rush through my head. It lasted for four mounths, but I gave so much of myself, and she gave much of herself too. We really got to know eachother, and we became great friends who shared everything in our lives. And on top of all that, we had the best sex I've ever experience in my life. Something which made us have sex two times after we broke up.. Both time with her still being completely sure about her decision, and me lying to both myself and her saying it was just sex to me, and I had no hope of us two getting back together by having sex. Truth be told, having sex with her was just a way of holding on to her as much as possible - denying it was over. She's one of those girls who has huge plans in her life. She wants to explore the world, experience foreign cultures, and help the people in the world who needs help. This ambition was a huge challenge to our releationship. She just couldn't prioritize me over those dreams she had, something which I accepted, and where able to work on, but she saw that I didn't get the attention i deserved, and that I was often sad because of that... and eventually, she ended the whole thing. She thought it was wrong of us to be together when I deserved much more attention than what she could give me. And she also said that she wasn't really in love with me, because if she was, she should be able to priority me above everything - but she wasnt able to do that.. Now, I've been to releationships before, but this is the most real relationship I've been in. We really dug deep into eachothers soul, and I love everything about her. We've had many talks after the breakup, and for each talk we have, she just seems more sure about her decision - mostly because I try to convince her too much about us being something we shouldn't give up. But she kept telling me ''I have no feelings for you anymore'', but eventhough she said that straight to my face, I couldn't make myself accept it. I knew her too much, and I knew she's just trying to convince herself that ending the relationship was the right decision.. she was unsure about the relationship for long, but she couldn't let go to begin with because she knew that there was something special we had. Eventhough she didn't love me as a boyfriend, she loved me. I'm trying to explain the situation as good as possible to you here in loveshack, but this lovestory is too complex to explain it in words. I don't know how to get over this girl, because she has everything I ever wished a girl should have. She's an original girl, different from every other girl I've ever been with. This make it impossible for me to look at her, because it reminds me of what I'm missing... and what I lost. I really want to be her friend, but I know I can't do that.. because I'll always hope we'll get back together.. but losing her as a friend is too much to take... All the talks we had was unique, and we helped eachother through dificult times.., And helped eachother get out of our thoughts.. I keep asking her if we can try having a friends with benefit relationship, because the times we slept with eachother after the breakup was wonderful, and she wants to have sex with me as much as I want to have sex with her. But she says she couldn't continue like that, because it wasn't fair to my feelings. The sex for her was just sex. And it's easier having with me, because she isn't used having sex with randoms. For me, I loved the sex because it was her... Eventhough her lust is as high as mine, she stops herself from having the sexual relationship I really wish we could have. That's when I lose my head, and I don't know what to do with this whole situation. I love her as my friend, and the sexual attraction I have for her is impossible to bear... somebody, please give me some advice, or give me a story to relate to... I know I love this girl for what she is, and I need her in my life, but it's already to late... but how do I survive this... what should I do when all I see when looking at other girls is how they're nothing compared to my ex. When I look my eyes I see her, think of her, and almost cry about the fact that she's not mine anymore. I am a mess. Somebody help me. WOW i thought i was alone. Guess what buddy, ur not! Im goin thru maybe the exact same thing. I also am in college with the girl that dumped me, and seeing her now and then is killer. I have the link of my story here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=268912 Im really in the same boat as you. Ive ask her time and again to give me any kinda chance so we could make it work again, and all i got was "i dont give second chances". And yes, i did love her to death i thought... so getting over her will be hard. BUT. what u gotta do is drop her. It SHOULD wake her up, especially if you've been clingy up to this point. I did it, dropped her off fb, stop calling, texting, and everytime i see her at school i walk past as if she isnt there. Or i simply get up and leave if i was there first. As soon as i started this i got a reaction outta her. Cuz i shows you will no longer deal with her bs and makes it look as if youve moved on, when u nor me truly have. But IF she is ever gonna come back, she has to FORGET about u first. women want they cant have. When u become so distant that she CANT have u, thats when it'll trigger in her head like "damn, i guess being lonely sucks after all. whatever happened to that great relationship i was in? maybe he wasnt THAT bad after all..." HOPEFULLY thats the point, and thats what im counting on as well... Try avoiding her totally for a week. Then 2 weeks.... then a month. just try it. you're guaranteed to get a response outta her (if she meant anything to u in the first place) during this time period. And when u do, be SMART. u know your girl much more than us. DONT beg her back or seem clingy AT ALL. FAKE as if everything is ok and that u dont need her. I know its the hardest thing in the world. If it makes u better, Im goin thru the exact same thing!! I just started like 4 days ago. I can keep u updated and vice versa if u want
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