brokendreamz Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I thought I was doing so well!! 8 years together now 7 weeks apart with 5 days NC. House to sell so have to deal with that side of things before I can got totally NC. Thing is, It's killing me! She appears to have totally moved on, she went away with her mates this weekend and I haven't heard a thing from her. This is so freaking hard man! I'm 34 she's 28. We were engaged and I got sloppy, I didn't treat her right no violence - I'm not like that, just complacency, moaning, putting on weight, taking her for granted etc etc... So 7 weeks ago she tells me there's no one else and that she's been out of love with me for a few months and BOOM. Just like that it's over! So I guess she's got a bit of time on me but come on! REALLY? 8 years together and I don't hear from her in a week?? I'm still shell shocked and I literally cannot stop thinking about her, harbouring hopes that she'll come back to me etc. I have no close friends anymore - I made her my life! Thought it was the right thing to do, I mean if you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person right? WRONG!!! And what is it with these thoughts that she's already shacked up with some Adonis with a huge cock, loads of money, bags of friends and she already loves him. I mean COME ON! How do I stop thinking like this?? Has anyone got any good breakthrough stories? Like, you're sat at work depressed then this girl walks into your life and you magically forget all the other **** you've got going on etc... I could do with hearing something positive guys n gals! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH THIS IS THE HARDEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 sorry man, its gonna hurt. just be glad you don't have kids. Link to post Share on other sites
D78 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I'm just going to risk sounding like an ad for NC... I also lived with my ex, and it took almost 2 months of LC to get all that sorted out. Then, 2 weeks of random encounters that I learned to avoid. The other day was my 30th day of real NC. Over those 30 days, I completely changed my thinking. I hardly think of him. I haven't had one of those "miss the good old times" moments. I don't care what he's doing. I don't want to see him. I feel much better, like I'm going to someday soon be a human again. It will be so much easier to stop thinking about her once your done selling the house and tying up all the loose ends. You won't know what she's doing, and that's better than knowing that she went away with her friends for the weekend. You really do just stop thinking of the person after some time of NC. Until you can get to NC, maybe you could write her letters that you never send. Writing to my ex really helped me get over many of the feelings I had toward him. I just put it on paper, and I didn't have to keep it in my head any longer. Hang in there! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
aeren944 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) I thought I was doing so well!! 8 years together now 7 weeks apart with 5 days NC. House to sell so have to deal with that side of things before I can got totally NC. Thing is, It's killing me! She appears to have totally moved on, she went away with her mates this weekend and I haven't heard a thing from her. This is so freaking hard man! I'm 34 she's 28. We were engaged and I got sloppy, I didn't treat her right no violence - I'm not like that, just complacency, moaning, putting on weight, taking her for granted etc etc... So 7 weeks ago she tells me there's no one else and that she's been out of love with me for a few months and BOOM. Just like that it's over! So I guess she's got a bit of time on me but come on! REALLY? 8 years together and I don't hear from her in a week?? I'm still shell shocked and I literally cannot stop thinking about her, harbouring hopes that she'll come back to me etc. I have no close friends anymore - I made her my life! Thought it was the right thing to do, I mean if you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person right? WRONG!!! And what is it with these thoughts that she's already shacked up with some Adonis with a huge cock, loads of money, bags of friends and she already loves him. I mean COME ON! How do I stop thinking like this?? Has anyone got any good breakthrough stories? Like, you're sat at work depressed then this girl walks into your life and you magically forget all the other **** you've got going on etc... I could do with hearing something positive guys n gals! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH THIS IS THE HARDEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!! I know it doesn't help much, but I know exactly what you're going through. My ex and I were together for 8 years, but we've got 2 kids. I was never able to go total NC, could only do LC because of the kids. She got someone else, and looked to have moved on. Hell, she HAD moved on, I guess. Here's the thing... it's only been 7 weeks, and only 5 days NC. There's still plenty of road to travel. I'm at 9 months into the break-up, and LC. I had times like that... where I'd wonder why I couldn't stop thinking about her and hurting all the more because I thought she wasn't thinking about me. She didn't cheat on you, she didn't leave you for someone else... so, I can almost bet she's thinking just as much about you. I'm not telling you this to give you any false hope, I'm telling you because it DID mean something, no matter how it looks now. The wounds are fresh and the emotions are raw and the slightest pin-prick can feel like a broken bone. NC isn't just about not contacting her, it's about not thinking or reminding yourself of her, too. It's hard, but it's doable. I'm evidence of that... It DOES get better. I thought I was dying. I was in hell, pure and simple. But, here I am now, and I'm alright. I still have to see her every few days or so, to exchange the kids, but I'm a thousand times better and I can handle it. You will get through this, no matter how is seems now. Edited February 28, 2011 by aeren944 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokendreamz Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Thanks for the feedback. I know I'll get there eventually but it's soooooo hard. I can't imagine having to see her every few days - you are more of a man than me mate! I just can't believe I'm allowing myself to think like this, I was so strong before we met, I'm almost shocked to look down and not see a mangina between my legs!! Right. I'm going to hit the gym double hard tomorrow. Oh god, why do I still love her so much. :0( Link to post Share on other sites
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