quietGuy13 Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Here's why I was thinking we could be great friends and have good time together. i'm not saying we can't but some of the things that she said make me think she won't like me at all. or that we won't even be that great of friends cause we're not even gonna meet enough. 1. She wants to learn english AND when she talked in the phone she was already goood at english. Since i'm latino and i don't really speak that great of anything and i'm slow..I"m sure she thinks/will think i'm worthless AND well i kinda of am because I am not that good at speaking or writing and vocab is very low. I'm pretty sure she would rather learn from some outgoing typical american guy who's really really outgoing and has many friends and thus good speaker with lots of knowledge of slang, idioms, etc. That sucks.... But it seems i only end up meeting the girls who will not like me cause i'm not a typical type of person. 2. She doesn't really have much time...since she's busy and probably already has a lot of activities and stuff to do with her host family. like i had thought we could meet both saturaday and sunday. but she said..not saturaday.. ANd then we're meeting probably just 1 hour...that's nothing. 1 hour in 1 week. *** Anyways wahtever, i will go meet her but i dont have expectations that it can turn into a great friendship , like i thought it would. I hope it turns out better than what it'm expecting.
lenny Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Don't be so down on yourself! If you've talked enough to know as much about her as you posted here you are absolutely in the running to be a great friend. Only having limited time to spend with someone doesn't mean it's doomed, just that you have to make that time quality.
LifesBeachy Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 I was also thinking don't be so down on yourself.. So you're both learning a new language together--That can be fun and you surely will know things she doesn't yet. And you can help each other..It's more an adventure. I'm also learning a new language; I use multiple sources/people. That's how you learn..and you can do the same and share with her. I'd say keep positive. Enjoy whatever time you have with her. And I'm sure it'll be better than what you're expecting
blackmagik Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Have confidence in yourself! Women can smell it like a pungent odor when you do not. Even if you don't have confidence in what you are doing act like you do anyway. Women want to be friends with and around strong men who are confident, secure, and can "protect" them even if they don't need it... just an observation I have made through the years.
alethean Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Have confidence in yourself! Women can smell it like a pungent odor when you do not. I second this statement. Also: 1. Your English is fine. 2. An hour is better than nothing. 3. Being "typical" is overrated. But other than that I think it's good that you do not have expectations. Why? Because if you have no expectations, you'll be pleased if something does happen, whereas if you have high expectations and things don't go well, you'll be left wondering what went wrong. So don't have any expectations, but don't let your low expectations translate to having low self-confidence or no effort on the day that you meet with her. Good luck.
Author quietGuy13 Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 Ok guys i haven't ruined yet with the girl i'm gonna meet on Sunday. BUt i think i ruined it with the Girl that's teaching me language(The one that has a BF) Yesterday after i called the girl that i'm meeting on Sunday, i felt bad because i sucked in the phone call and then it was awekward and i made a bunch of mistakes like always( i have speech impediment). And i felt really bad .....so after that call i felt so bad.. so like always i get negative feelings of being crap and garbage, so and i emailed the othe rgirl(the girl with BF) and said that i felt like garbage..because i always feel like foreigners hate me cause i'm not a typical good speaker type of person, so i said "We can meet but i idon't know if you would wnat to meet a stupid person like me" Well, i haven't gotten an email from her so i don't know if we're still meeting today(Saturday)as we had scheduled it. maybe i ruined it with that girl. Oh well........ I'll try not to ruin it with the other one.
Cee Posted February 19, 2011 Posted February 19, 2011 Hang in there. In life, there is progress and set backs. The people who ultimately succeed, never give up. Yes, it's not healthy to tell someone that you are not worth their time. However, you learned from that experience. Please, share those feeling of self-doubt with a therapist or trusted male friend, not a new woman. I have some constructive feedback about how to connect with women in the future. Focus on the woman and her positive attributes and not what you think is lacking in you. You are putting too much negative focus on yourself. Try to focus on her and on your strengths. You must trust that this woman has freely chosen to see you because she wants to. Appreciate and graciously accept her desire to want to meet. But all in all, you are doing so well. And I am very supportive of your efforts to break out of your shell.
Author quietGuy13 Posted February 19, 2011 Author Posted February 19, 2011 Cee thanks. Actually, i emailed her back and then she was ok with it and wasn't mad or anything. so we actually met.^^ it was good but it was at a cafe.. I really never go to cafes cause i'm shy and surrounded by people didn't feel good. but i just went with it and we had a nice time. So i have another date tomorrow with another girl. i'll try to bbe positive
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