Author madjac74 Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 wow, i like your style and illustrations and stories (from what i got to read and peruse so far!) very unique style and very cool. how could i tell you could writer? lol. i write poetry also. you would never know it from all the typos i make here and when i am writing in general. you think i would be majorly inspired now too and i am most definitely not. i hate to say it, but my friend was a writer of poetry also..and it was pretty amazing. i used to do poetry readings in my local B&N. anyway, i dont feel i process any talents now. i am so uninspired. your comic line is really good. do you set up tables at conventions? anyway at least you can pursue THAT dream. thanks for sharing with us. did you like maddi's rendition of break even? sorry about the Halloween dream taking a turn. but its great you can direct your passion for someone into your passion for the arts. anyway..hang in there and maybe think of incorporating a new story and illustration with a better ending, and God willing it will manifest into a real life happy ending for you. Im glad you liked my art. I am certainly not a very good poet but it is very therapeutic during the hard times. My best friend is very good and we have been working on a book that combines her poetry with my drawings. I did like that version of that song. Liz and I both have daughters that go by Maddie (we have to spell it different for texting purposes and their names arent actually the same Madison and Madalyn) Lately I have been wearing this song out. Someone told me not to listen to songs that make me think about her but I am stubborn and it is very fitting. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 GREAT song and definitely fitting. he introduced me to ben harper and made me a personal music CD so hearing that now really struck a cord. anyway youre sure surrounded by a lot of maddi's. lol how ironic. anyway all you can do is hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I like your artwork too Link to post Share on other sites
Author madjac74 Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 I like your artwork too Thanks folieadeux! And I freakin cracked tonight and broke the no contact. I had a Valentines dinner with my daughter and she saw a girl and said "she looks like Liz" and I just kinda lost it and ended up sending her a text " I miss you". I told my best friend and she said I couldnt believe you lasted as long as you did. Ugh Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Thanks folieadeux! And I freakin cracked tonight and broke the no contact. I had a Valentines dinner with my daughter and she saw a girl and said "she looks like Liz" and I just kinda lost it and ended up sending her a text " I miss you". I told my best friend and she said I couldnt believe you lasted as long as you did. Ugh Well, it's always hard going NC, especially with the strong feelings you still have for her. For some couples it's easier than others depending upon the circumstances. You're already dealing with enough right now, I won't beat up on you too bad for that. It will get easier in time, though, and I'm hoping this is the last "slip up" and that a full blown conversation didn't happen as a result. Link to post Share on other sites
TokyoG33kyGal Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Actually the funny thing about that is she has claimed to do things just to get my reaction. Whether they are true or not I am unsure which should tell me something right away. She has told me she met someone before and my reaction was not to speak to her. That lasted two weeks and then she wished me a happy birthday and we started talking again. She claimed that she didnt feel like I loved her on a recent visit and made it up to see how I responded. And again not too long ago while we were having troubles and the topic of sex had come up for some infantile reason I asked if she had been with anyone and she said yes. Once again she wanted to see my response and quickly said she wouldnt do that when she still had feelings for me. I almost feel like some sort of expirement. Maybe her dissertation she is working on is "How to completely **** with and control a man" it's called "triangulation." she introduces this third party to get your attention (even if you are giving enough or more) to satisfy her ego. now that you two have broken up, she can date somebody else (to fill your physical absence) while she's still getting some emotional supply from you. just go NC. you don't wanna give someone all the effort while they keep you only as an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Author madjac74 Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 Wow you guys were right! I was a fool to break no contact. We slipped into our old ways this weekend...talking about marraige and me moving out there. I love you, miss you, blah blah. So last night after talking all day and it being pretty great, the convo started to die down mostly because I had a bad tummy ache. I continue texting with her and she says "I am very close to being drunk" and I stated that I didnt realize she was out and its very rare for her to get drunk especially when she works very early for the government. So I kinda joke "Get home safely and alone" and she says "I will! I just have to explain this to Alex" Alex? Explain what? "The new guy" and explain that you and I are talking again. After some dumfounded, shocked texts by me not knowing what to say, she tells me not to worry and she is just picking him up from the airport and taking him to his car. ok? She later admits to being too drunk to drive and hires a limo service to go get him. Now I dont have a Master's degree like her but wouldnt it be just as effective for him to just get his own damn cab. The only purpose of her doing that is that she wants to see him Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Wow you guys were right! I was a fool to break no contact. We slipped into our old ways this weekend...talking about marraige and me moving out there. I love you, miss you, blah blah. So last night after talking all day and it being pretty great, the convo started to die down mostly because I had a bad tummy ache. I continue texting with her and she says "I am very close to being drunk" and I stated that I didnt realize she was out and its very rare for her to get drunk especially when she works very early for the government. So I kinda joke "Get home safely and alone" and she says "I will! I just have to explain this to Alex" Alex? Explain what? "The new guy" and explain that you and I are talking again. After some dumfounded, shocked texts by me not knowing what to say, she tells me not to worry and she is just picking him up from the airport and taking him to his car. ok? She later admits to being too drunk to drive and hires a limo service to go get him. Now I dont have a Master's degree like her but wouldnt it be just as effective for him to just get his own damn cab. The only purpose of her doing that is that she wants to see him Sorry madjac, I am calling this broads bluff here and now. You might remember me saying a few posts back I suspected this was all another stunt of hers to get a reaction out of you. The post you made today just confirms I was right. I think Alex was yet again, another sucker punch. Who knows if Alex is the new guy, or even exists at all. I think once again she was guaging for reaction. It had only taken a few days for you to crack and break NC. Had it been a week or longer..she would have been panicking like mad thinking her stunt went too far this time. Maybe she was drunk, and that is why when she decided to pull this ploy she did not stop to realise that it makes her look like 1. A person of ****ty character to start out a relationship by cheating on the guy with her ex, and yes for future reference, talking about marriage and being like old times with your ex is most definately cheating. 2. A wishy washy flaky byotch for leading you on. Clearly, MS degree or not she does not really think her stunts through very intelligently. I could be wrong, maybe she just is a really shady person with very ****ty character. I still think she is just pulling stunts with you because it somehow meets her need for attention or affirmation of your love for her or whatever it is doing. It is dysfunctional and it is a shame that you keep getting kicked in the wind pipe so to speak because she does not know how to communicate and get her needs meet like an adult without being totally destructive. You need to quit letting her pull this **** and call her bluff already and make it clear that this **** stops or syonara sonya. Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 I'm disgusted at her behavior and hopefully this will be what you need to never talk to her again. Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Aww, that's just a really horrible thing to do:( I'm so sorry to hear this. I actually thought reading through all these posts that people were maybe being a little harsh on her. But after reading about this, she's just playing you big time. I'm sorry:(, that's just plain cruel what she's doing to you:(. She's just an attention seeker. Link to post Share on other sites
Author madjac74 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 Well she said she felt obligated because she offered previously before she and I started talking again and she didnt intend to get drunk she was just out with a friend waiting to pick him up. And apparently she let "new guy" know that we were talking again and trying to work things out. But what I have learned about her is that when I challenge her motives and Im wrong...she gets very pissed. When I challenge her and Im right she gives very calm explanation of her behavior and she was very calm when I told her how absurd was the whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 Well she said she felt obligated because she offered previously before she and I started talking again and she didnt intend to get drunk she was just out with a friend waiting to pick him up. And apparently she let "new guy" know that we were talking again and trying to work things out. But what I have learned about her is that when I challenge her motives and Im wrong...she gets very pissed. When I challenge her and Im right she gives very calm explanation of her behavior and she was very calm when I told her how absurd was the whole situation. Okay so, New guy is no longer new guy..he is now non existant guy since she is trying to work things out with you? The break up just could not possibly be serious. If you broke up over distance, which has not changed..and in less than 7 days you are working on getting back together..I mean this break up idea could not have been well thought out at all or serious. Even if she IS telling the truth about the other night, I still think this breakup was an attention seeking thing. I mean all the reasons she called it quits are still remaining, including this new guy but I dont doubt she is not really all that into him to begin with maybe just likes the attention AND enjoys using him to ruffle your feathers so she gets the big reaction she tries so hard for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author madjac74 Posted February 16, 2011 Author Share Posted February 16, 2011 H2H.... I have it solved. She is doing all of this to fasilitate her need for me to be there. She throws all of these "im going another route" situations at me just to see if I will instantely run to her. Yes there is more to it ...such as attention. Im sure this other guy may be involved and im sure he is still in her cell. Ultimately she wants me there and is using jealousy to make me hurry up Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 This goes without saying, but no one should be giving anyone an ultimatum to move. You don't throw a fit like a child and threaten to walk/be with other people in the hopes of making things better. I sincerely hope you're not even entertaining the thought of this. She's shown her true colors and it's up to you to not buy back into this cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
TokyoG33kyGal Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 that's a red flag, dude. it's introducing triangulation to manipulate you. so everytime she wants something she will do this to make you do what she wants? Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted February 16, 2011 Share Posted February 16, 2011 H2H.... I have it solved. She is doing all of this to fasilitate her need for me to be there. She throws all of these "im going another route" situations at me just to see if I will instantely run to her. Yes there is more to it ...such as attention. Im sure this other guy may be involved and im sure he is still in her cell. Ultimately she wants me there and is using jealousy to make me hurry up Okay, so I was right. It was all a ploy by her to get a reaction out of you. Not good. Here is the thing, if at 33 years old she does not know how to get her needs met by using honest communication and handling things like an adult, and instead resorts to manipulation, mind f*cking (cause that is exactly what that is) , and in general things that will be very hurtful to you..I mean this is just plain not good. She needs to get it through her head that it is NOT okay, it is extremely hurtful for one..If she is doing it now, you can bet she will resort to these tactics in the future to manipulate any situation. She is very calculating and manipulative. She puts her own needs ahead of your personal pain, and that is bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
Author madjac74 Posted February 22, 2011 Author Share Posted February 22, 2011 wow, i like your style and illustrations and stories (from what i got to read and peruse so far!) very unique style and very cool. how could i tell you could writer? lol. i write poetry also. you would never know it from all the typos i make here and when i am writing in general. you think i would be majorly inspired now too and i am most definitely not. i hate to say it, but my friend was a writer of poetry also..and it was pretty amazing. i used to do poetry readings in my local B&N. anyway, i dont feel i process any talents now. i am so uninspired. your comic line is really good. do you set up tables at conventions? anyway at least you can pursue THAT dream. thanks for sharing with us. did you like maddi's rendition of break even? sorry about the Halloween dream taking a turn. but its great you can direct your passion for someone into your passion for the arts. anyway..hang in there and maybe think of incorporating a new story and illustration with a better ending, and God willing it will manifest into a real life happy ending for you. Hey you said you write poetry. Well I just wrote this for her. Therapy! Anyway some constructive criticism would be great. BTW I havent sent it to her I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A deep breath to welcome the end of the day. The day I met you slipped into my thoughts My thoughts of you turned into dreams Into dreams of us together Together in a love so true So true these feelings we can't deny Can't deny that it's meant to be To be always us forever Forever seems to end too soon Too soon to wake up from this dream This dream of knowing you Knowing you has made me Me a name I call myself Myself without yourself is not right Right next to you is where I belong I belong in your hugs and kisses And kisses are where I miss you I miss you "me a name i call myself" is sort of an inside joke with us Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 wow madjac74 thats a beautiful poem. and well describes not only what you feel personally for her but it also well describes the beginning, longings and dreams hoped for, and end of a relationship. (missing) very bittersweet and poignant that's such a good poem fluid and beautifully and tenderly written God willing someday she can see and appreciate it. so nice of you to share it Link to post Share on other sites
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