CluelessGuy1986 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I really overthink everything, to a point where it sometimes almost becomes crippling. For instance, I recently had a very good date with a girl I really like who I am sure likes me. Things went well and when I dropped her off I got the impression she wanted to be kissed. I kind of froze and didnt go in for it, and am now kicking myself. I dont think I have blown it with this girl as we should be going out sometime this week. My issue is, the whole first kiss thing. I think I am building it up way too much in my head, I just want it to be good - people remember these things and I dont want to mess it up and have her impression of me change. (Ive read threads where people are put off by a bad first kiss, etc...) The truth is other than some drunken making out in bars and what not (of which I dont really remember) ive not really had anything meaningful and am kind of terrified I have no idea what I am doing. I am actually second guessing myself on the mechanics of kissing, how to do it, etc... Kind of crazy huh? I feel like a 13 year old here. I just want it to be good/memorable for her?
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 I really overthink everything, to a point where it sometimes almost becomes crippling. For instance, I recently had a very good date with a girl I really like who I am sure likes me. Things went well and when I dropped her off I got the impression she wanted to be kissed. I kind of froze and didnt go in for it, and am now kicking myself. I dont think I have blown it with this girl as we should be going out sometime this week. My issue is, the whole first kiss thing. I think I am building it up way too much in my head, I just want it to be good - people remember these things and I dont want to mess it up and have her impression of me change. (Ive read threads where people are put off by a bad first kiss, etc...) There are many different styles of kissing. If she likes the style you are using then your golden... otherwise you need to use whatever visual cues you can get to tell whether your doing it the way she wants or not. A good chunk of women think that first kiss will determine chemistry, so they won't give you a second shot... and don't really let you know what style they like. Yes, it's retarded but that's just the way it is. My only real suggestion is to make sure to be enthusiastic and aggressive. Sometimes by acting like you are extremely into it you can override technique issues.
Author CluelessGuy1986 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 There are many different styles of kissing. If she likes the style you are using then your golden... otherwise you need to use whatever visual cues you can get to tell whether your doing it the way she wants or not. A good chunk of women think that first kiss will determine chemistry, so they won't give you a second shot... and don't really let you know what style they like. Yes, it's retarded but that's just the way it is. My only real suggestion is to make sure to be enthusiastic and aggressive. Sometimes by acting like you are extremely into it you can override technique issues. Thanks for the advice. Thats what I am worried about, the first kiss meaning much more than it should, guess I just need to go for it and see what kind of mess I make of it!
PeachyPink Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 You lack confidence. You can't force chemistry, so overthinking the first kiss really won't get you anywhere but Awkwardsville. Relax. Go with the flow. Don't force things.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 OP, seriously... who remembers the first kiss w/ their SO? most first kisses don't happen like in some hugh grant, romantic comedy; no... instead, they just happen when & where the two of you so happen to kiss for the first time. I can see over thinking it if you thought that your first kiss with her would be your only one; but that's unlikely, since you two like each other. kiss her during your next date so you can move onto kissing her more. keep in mind that she won't give you too many more opportunities to kiss her if you fail in the future. when in doubt, just say "close your eyes". if she closes em, she WANTS you to kiss her. (she knows what that line means). If she asks "why?" she's probably nervous herself, just smile while looking her in the eyes (bedroom eyes) and say it again. if she closes em, again, she wants you to kiss her (& you probably just satisfied her desire to play hard to get). if she won't close em, blah. she doesn't wanna kiss you. so long as there is interest & enough flirty touching that has gone on, "close your eyes" never fails.
SmileFace Posted February 1, 2011 Posted February 1, 2011 OP, seriously... who remembers the first kiss w/ their SO? . This is not true . I remember every first kiss I have every had . I only had four and all with guys I was dating but I still remember them. I don't look for much from a first kiss but I do remember. Kissing makes me smile and I never had a bad first kiss well for me atleast. I mean the original poster shouldn't over think kissing at all but you should not just think it is just something you want to get done and over witg
Author CluelessGuy1986 Posted February 1, 2011 Author Posted February 1, 2011 Thanks for the advice. Im pretty confident in finding the right time to go in for it, and I want to do it but my hangup is on the actual mechanics of the kiss. As stupid as it sounds I have no clue on how to kiss (do I kiss both lips, one of her lips, etc??) and most advice I read is to just let it happen, though this doesnt inspire confidence in me. Again, I realize how this sounds and know I have to man up on the next date I would just like to go into it not being so in the dark.
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