How fussy are you?

[Ross PK]

Nope. Just as long as I find them at least a bit physically attractive, that's all I require.

 

For a LTR, then, I'd at least need to click with them also and they'd have to be a nice person.

[dispatch3d]

Being "fussy" is just your ego's way of sustaining itself. It's much easier to be fussy than to take a more negative (and probably unhealthy) approach, such as I didn't pickup because no guys hit on me. I made that overly negative on purpose, so calm down .

 

It really is just more of a situation. You went to a bar and danced. You went because (1) friends were going (2) its fun (3) to dance (4) to meet a guy. All of the reasons are there, and the only one that is a doubt is (4). Haha I even typed "hopefully" and erased it, which is interesting really.

 

There's obviously tons of possible reasons you didn't meet a guy you liked. Prehaps you rejected them too quickly, or let them linger too long (so the rejection was more painful for both of you). Maybe you were in a group that was so big hardly any guys hit on you. Maybe all the guys were just very drunk, so really you didn't meet them at all. Prehaps you weren't inviting enough, or flirty enough. Maybe you saw the perfect guy but didn't give him a wink and nod for encouragement that he needs. I'm really just guessing, but anyhow I guess my point is something like "I'm fussy" is just a rationalization. It's a way to avoid dealing with anything I labeled above, since everything above is solvable, although some of the conclusions may not be easy to handle ego-wise. (ie. not flirty enough would be one of the harder ones to handle, and as such I wouldn't be surprised if most girls assumed they both can flirt and are good at flirting).

[depplover_1980]

Being "fussy" is just your ego's way of sustaining itself. It's much easier to be fussy than to take a more negative (and probably unhealthy) approach, such as I didn't pickup because no guys hit on me. I made that overly negative on purpose, so calm down .

 

It really is just more of a situation. You went to a bar and danced. You went because (1) friends were going (2) its fun (3) to dance (4) to meet a guy. All of the reasons are there, and the only one that is a doubt is (4). Haha I even typed "hopefully" and erased it, which is interesting really.

 

There's obviously tons of possible reasons you didn't meet a guy you liked. Prehaps you rejected them too quickly, or let them linger too long (so the rejection was more painful for both of you). Maybe you were in a group that was so big hardly any guys hit on you. Maybe all the guys were just very drunk, so really you didn't meet them at all. Prehaps you weren't inviting enough, or flirty enough. Maybe you saw the perfect guy but didn't give him a wink and nod for encouragement that he needs. I'm really just guessing, but anyhow I guess my point is something like "I'm fussy" is just a rationalization. It's a way to avoid dealing with anything I labeled above, since everything above is solvable, although some of the conclusions may not be easy to handle ego-wise. (ie. not flirty enough would be one of the harder ones to handle, and as such I wouldn't be surprised if most girls assumed they both can flirt and are good at flirting).

 

You're barking up the wrong tree. I was people watching, observing the talent and seeing what would be available on that basis and my findings were I didn't find anyone physically attractive. As shallow as it sounds I am not interested in pursuing further if the initial attraction is not present.

 

I have excellent people skills and have no problem making friends wherever I go, so my pulling skills are not under question here.

 

Seeming I made the decision regardless to end my current situation for good today I am slightly disheartened, but I shall go out again next week and check a different area of town. This time I will be officially single again too.

[Woggle]

I am picky as hell when it comes to commitment and I found what I wanted so there is hope for others.

[dispatch3d]

No bark or bite intended. I was just stating the circumstances. From what I "saw" or "read" it was only 1 of 4 things you were going for. Anyhow, no harm intended .

[paddington bear]

Yes, picky in terms of for instance, a club, or a bar and you look around and think 'is there anyone here I am attracted to?'

 

However, when say one of those guys that I was not immediately attracted to, to talk to me, and if they were funny, and intelligent and I got on well with them, well then, less picky.

 

Men for me anyway, totally seduce me with their personalities and humour. I have surprised myself by being seriously interested in types of looks, figures etc. that I would never have considered my type or indeed good looking.

 

Conversely I met a guy last year, good looking, shared interests, but a total bore. Suddenly I found him significantly less attractive due to his personality.

 

So, to answer your question, I think yes, most people are fussy if given a line-up of people based on looks alone. However, talk to that line up, gauge their personalities and you'd probably find you were less fussy because one or two would intrigue you, and seem sexy for other reasons than just looks.

[depplover_1980]

No bark or bite intended. I was just stating the circumstances. From what I "saw" or "read" it was only 1 of 4 things you were going for. Anyhow, no harm intended .

 

"I had my eye open for talent and realised I am really fussy. There are very few people that turned my head."

 

Just letting you know you misread. Over and done.

[dispatch3d]

humm u start fights . Your second post you were still ego protecting, and slightly offended. All I can do really is calm you down. Restating what I said initially is kind of beating a dead horse. I wouldn't even claim to be egoless in dating, and I'm sure my ego really hinders me (the fact I innately assume all women love me). It's healthy to be this way; I guess I'm just self-aware of it and I recognize rationalizations. The last part is weird, because if someone asks me to do something i'll give a string of "reasons". Then I'll go back over my "reasons" and if they are all rationalizations, then I'll end up doing what was asked of me (because I see through my own faulty logic). Yet the logic still there under the surface.

 

Just like I go to bars and I don't hit on women. Despite the fact the few women I talk to are generally pretty receptive. So meh, that's that .

 

To give you an idea of what it's like. Since I rarely rationalize, I end up doing more stuff. This is simply because I cannot make up reasons to NOT do something. So if there's no logical reason not to do something, then I therefore must do it. Make sense? So it's hard to sit down, etc.

[depplover_1980]

It's called your projecting your own emotions onto others, a way of inprinting and assume we all feel/think the same.

 

My post was perfectly innocent and clear, yet you turning into something about egos makes it way more sinister than it originally was intended.

 

I don't find many people attractive, nothing to do with me feeling wanted.

 

By also bleating on about being self-aware you come across in a manner that you think you are superior to others who don't think dating is about ego. Again great to be self aware of yourself but perhaps less presumptious about others.