sally4sara Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Oh, yeah. Like when a group of them is crossing the street AGAINST the red light while you sit there and wait, and they saunter s-l-o-w-l-y across the intersection and turn and look at you with this sneer like they KNOW they're being a-holes. Once I put my car in park and revved the engine RIGHT when they were in front of my car. Should've seen the little buggers jump! Or the girl they hired to help at one of the floral shops I worked in. She was asked to dust the glassware selection rather than hold up the counter and file her nails all day and got completely grossed out over the idea of dust getting on her, began making retching sounds and then walked off the job!
donnamaybe Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Or the girl they hired to help at one of the floral shops I worked in. She was asked to dust the glassware selection rather than hold up the counter and file her nails all day and got completely grossed out over the idea of dust getting on her, began making retching sounds and then walked off the job!OMG! A self-entitled princess in the making! I wonder what her mother's like.
sb129 Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 The Asian parenting style gives kids *the tools* to achieve in anything, and then when the kid turns into an adult they can figure out what they're passionate about, where to apply those tools. It's sort of like they get through the grind work as a kid, which opens up all these doors to them as an adult. I disagree. From what I have seen about it, unless you are "passionate" about being a doctor, lawyer, dentist or accountant, then passions are disregarded in favour of academic excellence. You can encourage your children to achieve success in whatever area they have interest or talent in without resorting to the uber strict asian parenting style. If you or anyone else is struggling as an adult given how well you did as a child and teen, it's your own fault, not your parents'. At some point you're going to have to stop pointing fingers for your faults. Absolutely. People aren't perfect. Parents make mistakes. As adults we have to get over that at some point. (with the exception of physical harm and neglect) You can say it's my fault or hypothetical person's fault, but at the end of the day if one parenting style successfully stomps the bad habits out of most kids (which it does in my observation), while another produces mixed results, I'd put my money on the former. NO parenting style produces 'perfect' children who have no bad habits. Bad habits are subjective too- some habits may be bad to one parent but not to another. My attitude is that I don't have a need to be able to brag about "my son, the doctor," or whatever it is that some parents need. I want my children happy and self sufficient. ha! Its highly likely that I will actively DIScourage my daughter from becoming a doctor unless its something she desperately desires.... I support giving them the tools so they can successful in whatever they choose. Thats what nearly all parents what for their kids, regardless of their parenting "style". We all love our children and wish the best for them.
JustJoe Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Cool...is that the norm in your community? Growing up, the other Asians I knew did the same things I did...not all..but most.Nope, Tami. We were a Military Family, so a lot of the time, we couldn't do what the other kids did.
Star Gazer Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 well, it wouldn't be about bragging for me. maybe it would for some parents. it would be about increasing the chances that my child is a happy, productive adult with good habits. You want a happy, productive child, who has emotional scars? Isn't that an oxymoron? You didn't answer my question: What sort of parenting style/tactics do you think are worthwhile that also cause emotional scars? I'm really curious here.
Els Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Why does it HAVE to be one or the other, seriously??? There is nothing, NOTHING preventing any mother from adopting a parenting style that favours moderation and is tailored to her child's abilities, temperament and personality. It is certainly bad to happily sit around while your kid plays truant, does drugs and befriends the neighbourhood gangsta team. Amy Chua's methods are also despicable. The solution lies in middle ground, although WHERE in middle ground depends on the child.
donnamaybe Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Why does it HAVE to be one or the other, seriously??? There is nothing, NOTHING preventing any mother from adopting a parenting style that favours moderation and is tailored to her child's abilities, temperament and personality. It is certainly bad to happily sit around while your kid plays truant, does drugs and befriends the neighbourhood gangsta team. Amy Chua's methods are also despicable. The solution lies in middle ground, although WHERE in middle ground depends on the child.Exactly! That's why I spoke about helping your child be the best person they already are, rather than forcing them into some kind of mold to shape them into some kind of person you have formed in your mind. When my two older children were very little, they were very different from each other. My son was so low key and "easy" when he was a baby. I could put him down for his nap, he'd whimper a little, and fall asleep. My next child, my daughter, was SO needy when she was a baby! As a result, I treated her differently; gave her what she needed so she would feel secure. If I had put her to bed and let her "cry herself to sleep" she probably would've given herself an aneurysm. That's how bad it was. You don't ignore that sort of thing. You give that child the security they crave and need. Of course, she outgrew it, just as I thought she would - probably BECAUSE she received the comfort and reassurance she needed when she was tiny.
northern_sky Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 (edited) based on this interview, it seems that the excerpt printed in the wall street journal wasn't representative of her book as a whole. in other words, her book is more about the mistakes she made along the way and her being humbled in the end than it is a how to guide. Edited January 20, 2011 by northern_sky
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I feel really sorry for her kids. There's a reason why those freedoms are granted, it provides a more well-rounded individual. Those kids won't know how to function in the real world.
Els Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 based on this interview, it seems that the excerpt printed in the wall street journal wasn't representative of her book as a whole. in other words, her book is more about the mistakes she made along the way and her being humbled in the end than it is a how to guide. I would hope so.
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