What_Next Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Until she receives treatment for her addiction you should believe NOTHING she says. You are niave to believe her.
Author russell1968 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Until she receives treatment for her addiction you should believe NOTHING she says. You are niave to believe her. I don't keep pressing her about it ! But she has put on weight for the first time in months! Anyway we will see, divorce proceedings are still happening.
Yasuandio Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 Russell, What's-Next is absolutely correct. Weight gain or loss has nothing to do with substance cessation. Actually, she could have scored some "killer weed" (laced with who know what), therefore, she may have experienced some "killer munchies."
Author russell1968 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Russell, What's-Next is absolutely correct. Weight gain or loss has nothing to do with substance cessation. Actually, she could have scored some "killer weed" (laced with who know what), therefore, she may have experienced some "killer munchies." Yep it's true, i know!
Author russell1968 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Posted February 28, 2011 Rob, where have you been? Let's just assume for a second my wife is straight and sober! We all went out with the girls yesterday! She kept commenting on out future and how I should buy her a new wedding ring, she held my arm in hers while we walked around, she was hugging me all day! When we got home she found my work phone with a text to a old freibd who is a girl, which was completly innocent ! Next thing I know she is calling my freind asking her if she has been sleeping with my husband! My freind was cool and didn't play up to her! We then took the girls to dinner and my wife was like her normal self! She said to me see what I'm like when you don't push me! She then kissed and hugged me and went to her house with my youngest daughter with her while my 5 year old stayed with me. She then sent a text thanking me for a great day and another one saying good night! My divorce petion is going to court this Wednesday, I'm thinking just let it go through?
What_Next Posted February 28, 2011 Posted February 28, 2011 You're being played. She STILL has you twisted around her finger. She says jump you say how hi. Ask her to take a drug test and see just how clean she is.
Binster Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 Too convenient your being played again. Judge her on her actions not words. You have to look out for yourself and your kids.
marqueemoon4 Posted March 1, 2011 Posted March 1, 2011 I feel bad for you.. she knows you want her back and she is taking total advantage of that. You really need to stay LC and she needs to get help ASAFP.
Author russell1968 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 Too convenient your being played again. Judge her on her actions not words. You have to look out for yourself and your kids. I realize this, she has gone all cold and quiet since Sunday
Author russell1968 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Posted March 1, 2011 You're being played. She STILL has you twisted around her finger. She says jump you say how hi. Ask her to take a drug test and see just how clean she is. yep,im being used as a back up plan!
robf1971 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Rob, where have you been? Hi, busy at moment trying to repair a broken marriage and a broken business, mix that in with bringing up to kids and having some semblance of a social life. There aren't too many spare minutes.
robf1971 Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Rob, where have you been? Let's just assume for a second my wife is straight and sober! We all went out with the girls yesterday! She kept commenting on out future and how I should buy her a new wedding ring, she held my arm in hers while we walked around, she was hugging me all day! When we got home she found my work phone with a text to a old freibd who is a girl, which was completly innocent ! Next thing I know she is calling my freind asking her if she has been sleeping with my husband! My freind was cool and didn't play up to her! We then took the girls to dinner and my wife was like her normal self! She said to me see what I'm like when you don't push me! She then kissed and hugged me and went to her house with my youngest daughter with her while my 5 year old stayed with me. She then sent a text thanking me for a great day and another one saying good night! My divorce petion is going to court this Wednesday, I'm thinking just let it go through? Don't read too much into good days or bad days. However just concentrate on yourself and kids. Thats all you can do.. If your wife is serious she will take active steps to stop taking Coke. I'm sure you will be able to tell is she has from her bank balance.
Author russell1968 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Don't read too much into good days or bad days. However just concentrate on yourself and kids. Thats all you can do.. If your wife is serious she will take active steps to stop taking Coke. I'm sure you will be able to tell is she has from her bank balance. Ok, i will do... Her sister called me and said she thinks my wife needs some sort of profesional help! All i'm going to do is carry on as normal, if i can help her anyway i will. Do you think there is anything else i can do to make her see what she is missing? Good to hear from you Rob! Edited March 2, 2011 by russell1968
What_Next Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 Try and seperate out what is going on into smaller bits. It'll be easier to digest. The kids, well that's priority #1 in my opinion. You seem to have that well in hand and kudos to you for that. There's also YOU, your well being, you also seem to be doing very well on that front. Better than most would do. The marriage, that's a whole other kettle of fish, I suggest paying little if NO attention to it. It needs to take a back seat. Then there is your wife; the person. The very first question is does she want and recognize that she needs help? If not, then it is a zero sum game. You cannot force help on an addict. I'd seek out help from local addiction specialists.
Author russell1968 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Try and seperate out what is going on into smaller bits. It'll be easier to digest. The kids, well that's priority #1 in my opinion. You seem to have that well in hand and kudos to you for that. There's also YOU, your well being, you also seem to be doing very well on that front. Better than most would do. The marriage, that's a whole other kettle of fish, I suggest paying little if NO attention to it. It needs to take a back seat. Then there is your wife; the person. The very first question is does she want and recognize that she needs help? If not, then it is a zero sum game. You cannot force help on an addict. I'd seek out help from local addiction specialists. It's true i have the girls 5 nights this week and i love it. I'm ok i'm staying fit also, decorating my house. Marriage, I told her i don't want to talk about it, just be freinds so we can be good for the girls! This has worked as she is hardly contacting me anymore, don't know wether this is good or bad?(FOR the Marriage?) The addiction, wow! Who know's, she definetly isn't going to tell me about it anymore, everyone keeps telling me it needs to bottom out! I know she regrets telling me about it as she knows i will fight her full on for the girls!
worldgonewrong Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I'm proud of you and happy for you, Russell!
Author russell1968 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Posted March 2, 2011 Well the worrying thing is since I have said let’s just focus on being friends , she has hardly contacted me..I feel a bit detached from everything! I suppose I should use this calm time wisely and focus on making my children and myself happy, but I do worry that she is drifting further away?
worldgonewrong Posted March 2, 2011 Posted March 2, 2011 I suppose I should use this calm time wisely and focus on making my children and myself happy, but I do worry that she is drifting further away? Answer: No, you do not worry. You keep getting stronger for you & your kids. Her behavior is parasitic & selfish.
robf1971 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 It's true i have the girls 5 nights this week and i love it. I'm ok i'm staying fit also, decorating my house. Marriage, I told her i don't want to talk about it, just be freinds so we can be good for the girls! This has worked as she is hardly contacting me anymore, don't know wether this is good or bad?(FOR the Marriage?) The addiction, wow! Who know's, she definetly isn't going to tell me about it anymore, everyone keeps telling me it needs to bottom out! I know she regrets telling me about it as she knows i will fight her full on for the girls! Good for you.. sounds like you are getting over the heartbreak part of this situation. That took me 3 months of being a crying,sleepless,anxious wreck.
robf1971 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 I feel a bit detached from everything! I suppose I should use this calm time wisely and focus on making my children and myself happy, but I do worry that she is drifting further away? This is very healthy, it's a very very good time to concentrate on your kids and career. Mix that in with a bit of fun, you will be a happy person whether it all works out with her or not.
robf1971 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 , but I do worry that she is drifting further away? All her new party and druggie friends ain't real. When the crap hits the fan as it will you will be the only one there. At that point you can make the decision to take her back.
robf1971 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 to make her see what she is missing? All of the above advice. As for the professional help, you can't force someone. You are sounding stronger, that is very good.
robf1971 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 Ok, i will do... Her sister called me and said she thinks my wife needs some sort of profesional help! All i'm going to do is carry on as normal, if i can help her anyway i will. Do you think there is anything else i can do to make her see what she is missing? Good to hear from you Rob! I also think now is a good time to get out and meet new people. (note I do not mean cheating on your wife). I mean going out in mixed social groups, have some fun when you don't have the kids. I think Citysocialising is great !!
robf1971 Posted March 3, 2011 Posted March 3, 2011 this is good or bad?(FOR the Marriage?) Probably very good
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