worldgonewrong Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 it's just weird as we have gone from hardly talking to kissing withing two weeks! I'm starting to angry at myself now for wanting her back so much! Well, in the end, that's really for you to analyze, as you're closer to the situation obviously. I mean, on the surface, it's very easy to judge and say, "She's being emotionally manipulative." But you know her better. The point is to ASK YOURSELF if she has a history of being emotionally manipulative and pulling the rug out from under you in ways like this? I feel for you, man.
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Rob, Do I go completely silent and wait for her contact? I know she is p****d off at me at the moment, at this point her mood swings are driving me crazy!
worldgonewrong Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 I know you didn't ask me, but... you need to stop being reactive. She's thriving off that.
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 I know you didn't ask me, but... you need to stop being reactive. She's thriving off that. You are right! My focus is all wrong we moved away from London nearly 4 years ago and I have always had a long commute, I don’t have any friends or hardly know anyone where I live, so I am constantly focusing on her! Which I know is wrong, I’m trying to do something about this, but it won’t happen overnight.
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Ease off, wait for her to contact you, ohh I promise that will be soon lol. Don't mention the text. No point in making a mountain out of a molehill. Rob, how do you know this! She just sent me a text!
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Rob, I know she is p****d off at me at the moment, ! No you don't, you can't read minds
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Rob, how do you know this! She just sent me a text! Human nature, i've also lived this twice
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 She has sent a text, shall i reply or leave it for a bit?
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 her mood swings are driving me crazy! Think about it from her point of view, you're mood is also swinging
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 She has sent a text, shall i reply or leave it for a bit? If it isn't important... why bother. What could possibly be bugging her so much on a Monday night that you need to be in contact.
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Think about it from her point of view, you're mood is also swinging Very true, she can;t read me at the moment
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 If it isn't important... why bother. What could possibly be bugging her so much on a Monday night that you need to be in contact. She just asked me if i liked the new floor i put in the kitchen, with all the progress being made should i just ignore? You have got everything spot on so far, so what would you do?
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 She just asked me if i liked the new floor i put in the kitchen, with all the progress being made should i just ignore? You have got everything spot on so far, so what would you do? Ignore it, You don't have the kids right? Just ignore all tonight. If she asks why tomorrow, just say you popped out to the pub and forgot your phone. Actually that is what you should do.
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Ignore it, You don't have the kids right? Just ignore all tonight. If she asks why tomorrow, just say you popped out to the pub and forgot your phone. Actually that is what you should do. On my own, do you think she might think it's tit for tat? I don't want to lose momentum, or will this create more interest? I won't physically have to see her until Wednesday morning?
worldgonewrong Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 On my own, do you think she might think it's tit for tat? I don't want to lose momentum, or will this create more interest? you're being reactive here. And you're trying to read her mind, which is massively UNHEALTHY to you. Stop analyzing. Go DO something for yourself that has nothing to do with her.
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 you're being reactive here. And you're trying to read her mind, which is massively UNHEALTHY to you. Stop analyzing. Go DO something for yourself that has nothing to do with her. Top advice..
robf1971 Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 On my own, do you think she might think it's tit for tat? I don't want to lose momentum, or will this create more interest? I won't physically have to see her until Wednesday morning? FFS, it's just a pint down your friendly local. Might I point out she has been the one out clubbing and partying, so no it won't seem like tit for tat. Anyway you need to sto pworrying what she thinks. Trust me, you doing your own thing will be attractive to her.
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Top advice.. It's a bit late to do something now! My concern is by ignoring her texts it will undue all of the progress i have made in the last ten days,just don't want to do the wrong thing
worldgonewrong Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 My concern is by ignoring her texts it will undue all of the progress i have made in the last ten days,just don't want to do the wrong thing 1. how are you defining progress? 2. do you think she is defining progress in the same way? (this is the one instance where it's OK to get inside her head, maybe) 3. how can you gauge progress as a stepping stone to the means that you want, in this scenario? These are hypothetical questions for yourself. But as Rob suggests, a jaunt down to the pub is healthier than pulling at threads that she herself MIGHT NOT BE PULLING AT WHATSOEVER. See?
hopesndreams Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Just respond with "I like the new floor." or "I don't like the new floor." When will you both get started on the painting?
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 1. how are you defining progress? 2. do you think she is defining progress in the same way? (this is the one instance where it's OK to get inside her head, maybe) 3. how can you gauge progress as a stepping stone to the means that you want, in this scenario? These are hypothetical questions for yourself. But as Rob suggests, a jaunt down to the pub is healthier than pulling at threads that she herself MIGHT NOT BE PULLING AT WHATSOEVER. See? 1. Two weeks ago she woudn't even touch me, now we ar hugging kissing and spending time with each other. 2.her family members have mentioned to me that she is really happy with the way things are going between us, she asked me out ona date on valentines day. I want her and my children back, i realise this is still along way off, but when i ws left to my devices i was just pushing her further away. it's weird as im my life i'm very focused and have stacks of self discipline, when it comes to relationships i'm terrible, i really don't understand women
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Just respond with "I like the new floor." or "I don't like the new floor." When will you both get started on the painting? I hate to say the floor looks terrrible
worldgonewrong Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 Russell- I totally understand & sympathize. Just remember, for it to click again, you're going to have to sit down with her and compare notes. In fact, I'd put an end to the kissy stuff UNTIL you compare notes. Otherwise, the hormones just fog everything up, and you might still be left with the same bag of sadness despite the short-term buzz of kisses. That's all I'm saying. Protect yourself a bit.
Author russell1968 Posted February 7, 2011 Author Posted February 7, 2011 Russell- I totally understand & sympathize. Just remember, for it to click again, you're going to have to sit down with her and compare notes. In fact, I'd put an end to the kissy stuff UNTIL you compare notes. Otherwise, the hormones just fog everything up, and you might still be left with the same bag of sadness despite the short-term buzz of kisses. That's all I'm saying. Protect yourself a bit. I think that is a fair comment, i will step back and ignore her message! i'm sleeping so badly i have very little energy to do anything for myself+ i have my daughter-s most nights of the week.. Whats your name?
hopesndreams Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 If you are having trouble coping, are anxious and sleeping badly maybe consider some anti-anxiety medication, temporarily? Just to give you're mind a rest for a bit.
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