Author USMCHokie Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 In terms of looks: If you feel it would attract more partners, you should definitely flaunt it. However, you need to be more careful on who you attract. In terms of an ability/talent: I think you should hold off, until you're absolutely sure that you're not going to attract a gold-digger or the equivalent of one. Yeah sure, if you can play "Stairway To Heaven" on guitar, and you're good at it, then you should definitely show it off. However, there's a reason why relationships that are based on the partner being talented wear off, because you're seeing the person through rose-tinted glasses, and aren't able to see them for who they really are. This seems to be consistent with the belief that initial attraction is largely physical. That is, in order to get your proverbial foot in the door, you should pull out all the big guns in terms of physical looks...
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 This seems to be consistent with the belief that initial attraction is largely physical. That is, in order to get your proverbial foot in the door, you should pull out all the big guns in terms of physical looks... I wouldn't say that. I've been attracted to girls who I wasn't attracted to initially, because of personality traits that I found attractive. What I'm saying is, if you feel that a certain hairstyle/glasses/fashion dressing/etc would make you more attractive, then you certainly should go with it. However, you should be careful in what you attract, because if you dress a certain way (very little clothes), you're bound to attract the wrong kind of person (who's just after sex.) In fact, you'd probably be best off finding a happy medium between dressing 'slutty' and dressing 'sloppy.' Those are the types of girls that good guys go after, including myself. If I see her wearing too little, I figure that she's easy and not my type of girl.
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Hahah, I've even found entire blogs devoted to the glory of running shirtless. Why are you even looking for such things? But people often make judgments based on what they see, and if they see a juiced up meathead with an embarassingly tight shirt, or no shirt at all, they tend to assume he's just a dumb gym rat who cares only about himself and his abs. I don't want to portray that image. The other night, I asked that girl for her number and was promptly denied, and it made me wonder whether she had already judged me as a meathead and was turned off by it...and I know that clubs are terrible places for meeting folks since it's more or less a meat market based on physical attributes...it just kinda happened I guess and I jumped at the opportunity... I don't think that's why she turned you down. To the average gal, you're not a juicehead...you're only 160 pounds. You're not what I envision when I think of a meathead, anyway. Tami-chan's post was great though.
january2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Well, the point in my Gerard Butler example was to compare the degree of "flauntness" in each character, at least physically speaking, rather than comparing their personalities and non-physical attributes. When you made the comment, having seen both films, I asked myself who I'd jump and it would still be his character in P.S. I Love You. I am a Gerard fan but Leonidas showing more skin didn't really 'do it' for me. I think that "flauntness" is more than just showing more skin. Attitude and behaviour also come into it. For me, there was a je ne sais quoi to Gerard's character in P.S. I love you that made him hotter than his character in 300.
Jannah Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 If you've got that hairy chest then flaunt it. Awe poor greenie, he is so misunderstood.
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 This seems to be consistent with the belief that initial attraction is largely physical. That is, in order to get your proverbial foot in the door, you should pull out all the big guns in terms of physical looks... So what? Post naked pictures of yourself? Run around shirtless? Wear akin tight t-shirts? Honestly? Ew. Think about it, if a woman "brought out the big guns" to get your attention physically (by dressing like a slut to show off her assets), at the end of the day would her behavior in that regard really attract you? Something tells me it wouldn't.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Why are you even looking for such things? I get bored and I think I'm starting to run out of Internet... I don't think that's why she turned you down. To the average gal, you're not a juicehead...you're only 160 pounds. You're not what I envision when I think of a meathead, anyway. Well that's good. And you're probably right. Tami-chan's post was great though. I agree.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 If you've got that hairy chest then flaunt it. Hahah, a boy can dream...
Author USMCHokie Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 So what? Post naked pictures of yourself? Run around shirtless? Wear akin tight t-shirts? Honestly? Ew. I am not suggesting that I do these things or have any intention of doing these things...this entire thread has just been me posing different points of view for thought and discussion...I know exactly how I want to go about my life...and it doesn't involve naked me... Think about it, if a woman "brought out the big guns" to get your attention physically (by dressing like a slut to show off her assets), at the end of the day would her behavior in that regard really attract you? Something tells me it wouldn't. You know me. I would be hella turned off by that.
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 When you made the comment, having seen both films, I asked myself who I'd jump and it would still be his character in P.S. I Love You. I am a Gerard fan but Leonidas showing more skin didn't really 'do it' for me. I think that "flauntness" is more than just showing more skin. Attitude and behaviour also come into it. For me, there was a je ne sais quoi to Gerard's character in P.S. I love you that made him hotter than his character in 300. Yes, yes, yes! Gerry (his character in P.S.) wins every time, hands down... :love:
Author USMCHokie Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 In fact, you'd probably be best off finding a happy medium between dressing 'slutty' and dressing 'sloppy.' Those are the types of girls that good guys go after, including myself. If I see her wearing too little, I figure that she's easy and not my type of girl. Now my next question...how does a guy dress slutty...?
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I am not suggesting that I do these things or have any intention of doing these things...this entire thread has just been me posing different points of view for thought and discussion...I know exactly how I want to go about my life...and it doesn't involve naked me... I don't think for a second that this thread was started just for discussion. It was started so that you could figure out the best way to show what you've got - either flaunting, or hiding it. Your very posts in this thread show that. A month or two ago your method of showing what you got did involve the half-naked you, and you know it. I really don't get facade and back peddling. These threads of yours are so frustrating to me. Go over and read what you wrote to NS/Shadow in her thread about the outside reflecting the inside. Maybe that'll remind you of some things...
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Now my next question...how does a guy dress slutty...? He runs around town in the cold with his shirt off. He wears a towel for Halloween. He wears skin tight shirts and goes to "da club." He dresses like the dudes from Jersey Shore, and lives and breathes GTL. Honestly.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 He runs around town in the cold with his shirt off. He wears a towel for Halloween. He wears skin tight shirts and goes to "da club." He dresses like the dudes from Jersey Shore, and lives and breathes GTL. Honestly. Don't forget that for Valentine's Day weekend, I'll be participating in a children's charity run where everyone runs outside in the freezing cold in their underwear. I don't think for a second that this thread was started just for discussion. It was started so that you could figure out the best way to show what you've got - either flaunting, or hiding it. Isn't the goal to show the best you to the world? Whether it's physical attributes or personality, don't you want people to see you in the best light? Go over and read what you wrote to NS/Shadow in her thread about the outside reflecting the inside. Maybe that'll remind you of some things... I know exactly what I wrote there. It's just that this thread became very narrowly focused on physique. What if we were focused instead on "flaunting" one's intelligence? Or humor? Or compassion? Same result?
january2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 this thread became very narrowly focused on physique. What if we were focused instead on "flaunting" one's intelligence? Or humor? Or compassion? Same result? Let's talk about that. My impression is that if we feel that we know a poster well enough, we take into account what we know and try to gear our posts towards that so that we are as 'helpful' and relevant as possible. This seems to be a common phenomenon for popular and prolific posters, particularly if they start threads about themselves rather than responding to other people's threads. Since your OP gives people quite a bit of leeway in terms of what is being flaunted, if you're known primarily for your physique, it's not surprising that people zeroed in on that part of you and framed their posts around it. Would you rather people framed their posts around your intelligence, humour and compassion when responding to your posts? If yes, perhaps it's worth "flaunting" those attributes.
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) Don't forget that for Valentine's Day weekend, I'll be participating in a children's charity run where everyone runs outside in the freezing cold in their underwear. And you and I both know why you chose that race. Isn't the goal to show the best you to the world? Whether it's physical attributes or personality, don't you want people to see you in the best light? The problem, despite what you're saying now in this thread, is that you have (and I still think you do, as people don't change so drastically in a matter of mere weeks) believed that your body was all you had to offer a woman to attract her. So for you, to show off the thing you feel you have to offer a woman to attract her, means you have to run around shirtless or wearing a tight shirt. This is why you chose to go on a cruise alone, because it's totally okay and appropriate for you to be shirtless in the middle of winter on a cruise. Same thing with the V-Day race. Same thing with your choice in Halloween costume. So again, if the goal is to show my best physical attributes to the world, should I dress like a slut? Or just flash men my breasts and ass? Those are some of my best physical assets, so shouldn't I show the best of me the men I date? Or should I just dress like J-Woww to show it off? Gross, Hokie. As for other qualities, since I'm relatively intelligent and accomplished, should I tell them I've studied at 7 institutions of higher learning, including 2 abroad, and list all my degrees and awards for my dates? Tell them how many impoverished children I've helped? Or how fast I bombed it down a black diamond? Or how much money is in my bank account? Or show them the number of stamps in my passport? Or should I just go on dates with them, dressed tastefully in a way that flatters my figure, but leaves something to the imagination? Should I let our conversation and the subjects I bring up and how I articulate myself demonstrate how smart and curious about the world I am? Should I say I can't meet up on Saturday for our next date, but can do Sunday, and let him ask why, and allow me to explain that it' because on Saturday I'm throwing a birthday party for homeless children, to let him figure out on his own how I choose to spend my free time helping people? Should I wait until we're talking about what we like to do with our time off before I tell him simply that I ski on the weekends and do CrossFit during the week (leaving out how good/bad I am or how strong/weak I am), and wait until he does one of those activities with me for him to see how awesome I am at those activities? I know exactly what I wrote there. It's just that this thread became very narrowly focused on physique. What if we were focused instead on "flaunting" one's intelligence? Or humor? Or compassion? Same result? This thread became focused on physique for obvious reasons - it's what you focus on. But the remainder of your question has been answered for you, by more than one person. You just let yourself be yourself, naturally, as though you're hanging out with friends, and let the gal figure out for herself who you are and what you're about and what you bring to the table. You don't have to flaunt it and shove it in her face. That's trying to hard, and it's not attractive in anyone. Edited January 17, 2011 by Star Gazer
Jannah Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 A children's charity involves people running around in their undies? What type of charity is this, for pedofhiles? Geeze.
fishtaco Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Absolutely. If you've got it, you have to flaunt it. In fact you have to flaunt what you don't even have. Dating is sales and marketing. Fake it till you make it. Unfortunately most women out there are not as wise and balanced as Star Gazer. If that were the case, then I wouldn't need to flaunt anything, I'll just let the women and their x-ray vision see me exactly as I am, and I would not lose to the showy douchebag. But for most other women out there, the showy douchebags win. I am in direct competition with the showy douchebags, so I have to make the most out of my "qualities" to stay competitive. Some people's strong points are immediately visible, while others are not. Doesn't mean the less "visible" people are less worthy, they are just less... visible. So it would be to their advantage to somehow become more visible. So absolutely yes, put your best foot forward.
Mad Max Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 As a guy, if you do flaunt it you have to consider what type of women you'll be attracting. I can flaunt physical attributes, but I also know that if I do I'm likely to attract the wrong women. I don't think you should hide it completely, but enough so that 1)You maintain some modesty and 2)You attract the right people.
Cee Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 From reading your posts, Hokie, I think you as a pretty cool person. Your posts are always balanced, honest, and friendly. I have come to develop regard for your internet persona. If you are anything like USMCHokie, I'm surprised that you haven't been snapped up already. My guess is that there are plenty of women IRL who are already ga ga for you. I say don't worry about getting noticed, but start noticing the women around you.
Author USMCHokie Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 And you and I both know why you chose that race. Yep. You know exactly why I chose to participate, and I am not ashamed of it at all. I feel it's all in good fun, and if I happen to get a few glances or stares, then cool. So what if I take an opportunity to flash a little to random strangers? If you would like to read more into it or interpret it as some grand gesture of insecurity, then by all means, go for it. I know I have more to offer than just a body, so just because I choose to run in it doesn't mean I reek of insecurity as you seem to think. That would mean I'm running alongside 400+ other insecure folks, right...? A children's charity involves people running around in their undies? What type of charity is this, for pedofhiles? Geeze. Children's Tumor Foundation...research for neurofibrosis... They did it for the first time last year and it was a big success, so it looks like it's going to stay...
northern_sky Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 are you flirting with the idea of adding a shirtless pic to your dating profile, hokie? come on fess up!
Author USMCHokie Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 From reading your posts, Hokie, I think you as a pretty cool person. Your posts are always balanced, honest, and friendly. I have come to develop regard for your internet persona. If you are anything like USMCHokie, I'm surprised that you haven't been snapped up already. My guess is that there are plenty of women IRL who are already ga ga for you. I say don't worry about getting noticed, but start noticing the women around you. Thanks. I think I've focused on what I thought was wrong with me for so long that I didn't consider any of my positive attributes. I rejected myself before I could ever be rejected. I am insecure, but I'm working on it.
johan Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 are you flirting with the idea of adding a shirtless pic to your dating profile, hokie? come on fess up! I was thinking of adding one to mine. Actually, my lower body is better than my upper body. Guess I'll have to get the camera out.
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