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If You've Got It, Should You Flaunt It...?


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Posted
I absolutely agree with this statement.

 

Do you think your gym buddy is a douche? Because he flaunts like crazy.

Posted
My example had nothing to do with flaunting in the way I think you're referring...the dude always had his shirt on...

 

But it did. By your own admission, it was D, your gym buddy who is insanely built and wearing a super tight t-shirt... and ALL of his pictures are like flaunting to the millionth degree.

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Posted
But it did. By your own admission, it was D, your gym buddy who is insanely built and wearing a super tight t-shirt... and ALL of his pictures are like flaunting to the millionth degree.

 

Do you think your gym buddy is a douche? Because he flaunts like crazy.

 

Hahah, no, this is not the one you're thinking of...but yes, the one I was with last night would fit the definition rather well.

 

 

She's a girl who's attracted to juiced up dudes. That's all that was about.

 

Yea, agreed. But then I expanded it to include all the other qualities besides the physical...because the dynamic still applies...

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Posted
Superman and mild mannered Clark Kent are the same person. He used his secret identity of Clark to form his relationship with the world. This is how he really got to know Lois Lane as Clark, not Superman.

 

This is true, but initially, it was Superman who made Lois' loins burn, not Clark...it wasn't until she found out his secret that she became hot for Clark...

Posted
What do you personally prefer to do? And what do you respond better to?

 

I've realised that I've been hiding too much for fear of attracting the 'wrong' kind of attention and I want my outward appearance to reflect who I am and where I am in my life.

 

But I think it's important to respect one's boundaries and the situation. Therefore, in public, I'm not going to show more skin than clothing nor am I going to be wearing a burka. Though, at the moment, I'm still looking for that happy middle ground.

 

Regarding guys and clothing, I do think that clothing can be misleading. I've been in situations where a guy knew how to dress well/looked 'hot' but was actually quite ordinary without the clothes and vice versa. So, if the surprise is positive, then it's all hunky dory, otherwise, I don't like bad surprises (who does?). Thus, in most situations, I respond best to people who show me who they are right from the word "go".

Posted

Wait a minute. Is USMCHokie making a veiled reference to his incredibly enormous ******?

 

No homo.

Posted (edited)

if you have it, flaunt it by all means. the trick is to flaunt it in a subtle way. don't appear half naked with your abs out in front of sports car, instead put up a photo you appear on with a couple of friends where you are having a laugh and you are wearing something that shows off your physique. that confirms that you are socially skilled and have a great body. make sure you can be easily distinguished from your friends in the photo and have other pics where you only appear by yourself. always look classy (not too revealing).

 

don't have to go on about how much you earn or even fill that salary bracket on the profile, just mention what you do as part of your self description.

 

any woman vaguely skilled at spotting good quality men will pick up on clues such as the way you write, what you write about and how you present yourself.

 

have your preferred audience in mind at all times.

Edited by Emilia
Posted
This is true, but initially, it was Superman who made Lois' loins burn, not Clark...it wasn't until she found out his secret that she became hot for Clark...

 

it is also a fictional story :confused:

 

there are a lot of women that appreciate a good physique, such as myself. if a man is uneducated and an idiot, it is a turn off. if he is smart, educated and has great social skills, I'm very interested. I don't care if it's shallow but I only want to date men that are fit and athletic because I am in good shape.

 

go for it I say! that's what that girl on the dance floor would have told you. if you like fit women, show them that you have that body too

Posted

Hokie, if you have it, no need to hide it but no need to go about town shirtless or in a wifebeater shirt,either-running shirtless, however, is ok ;). Most people are initially attracted by what they see and what they see of you is not a lie-you have a rockin' bod, it is a fact. Does it define who you are? I think not. Is it all you can offer? I think not. But it is part of who you are, it is part of what is important to you. It is not like you are going around the bar and asking women to feel your biceps or six pack or talking incessantly about going to the gym and pumping iron-THAT is trying too hard. So dress appropriately and enjoy the attention!

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Posted
it is also a fictional story :confused:

 

True, but we can also apply it to real life. Why do you think people who openly display their special skills or talents (e.g., musicians, athletes, otherwise rich and or/ powerful people) are the ones that make members of the opposite weak in the knees? Why do actors and actresses work to stay in impeccable shape so they can show it off in movies? Which Gerard Butler made you hotter, the one in 300 or the one in P.S. I Love You...? Our society seems to be tempered to accept and even encourage proverbial "flaunting" to some degree...

 

there are a lot of women that appreciate a good physique, such as myself. if a man is uneducated and an idiot, it is a turn off. if he is smart, educated and has great social skills, I'm very interested. I don't care if it's shallow but I only want to date men that are fit and athletic because I am in good shape.

 

go for it I say! that's what that girl on the dance floor would have told you. if you like fit women, show them that you have that body too

 

This is interesting...because I've talked to a lot of my friends off LS about this very thing...and I've noticed two things: (1) People who also have "it" are more likely to encourage others to flaunt "it," and (2) people are more likely to encourage others of the same gender to "flaunt."

 

And please keep in mind that when I say "flaunt," I don't mean parading around like a dumbass showing off whatever it is you're showing off. And physique is just an example. There are plenty of other non-physical things that can be flaunted.

Posted
Why do you think people who openly display their special skills or talents (e.g., musicians, athletes, otherwise rich and or/ powerful people) are the ones that make members of the opposite weak in the knees?

 

When a musician is playing at a gig or when an athlete is competing in a meet, they're "flaunting" in an appropriate context. Going to see a musician perform or an athlete compete would be like someone coming into the library while I was a grad student and watching me write up a research paper on some obscure topic I had to work on.

 

That's different from sitting at a table with someone on a date and whipping out a guitar, running shoes, or a research paper and being all, "Hey, I just got back from, uh, doin' this thing I do...*ahem-checkitout-ahem*" or being sure to mention it multiple times so they absolutely know how awesome you are for doing x, y, z.

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Posted
Hokie, if you have it, no need to hide it but no need to go about town shirtless or in a wifebeater shirt,either-running shirtless, however, is ok ;).

 

Hahah, I've even found entire blogs devoted to the glory of running shirtless. :laugh:

 

Most people are initially attracted by what they see and what they see of you is not a lie-you have a rockin' bod, it is a fact. Does it define who you are? I think not. Is it all you can offer? I think not. But it is part of who you are, it is part of what is important to you. It is not like you are going around the bar and asking women to feel your biceps or six pack or talking incessantly about going to the gym and pumping iron-THAT is trying too hard. So dress appropriately and enjoy the attention!

 

And this is where I'm curious as to the balance that has to be found. Of course I don't want it to define who I am because I feel there is much more to me than a physique, but you're right that it is a part of who I am.

 

But people often make judgments based on what they see, and if they see a juiced up meathead with an embarassingly tight shirt, or no shirt at all, they tend to assume he's just a dumb gym rat who cares only about himself and his abs. I don't want to portray that image. The other night, I asked that girl for her number and was promptly denied, and it made me wonder whether she had already judged me as a meathead and was turned off by it...and I know that clubs are terrible places for meeting folks since it's more or less a meat market based on physical attributes...it just kinda happened I guess and I jumped at the opportunity...

Posted
Which Gerard Butler made you hotter, the one in 300 or the one in P.S. I Love You...?

 

The Gerard Butler in P.S. I Love You :laugh:

 

From what I remember from both films, his 'hotness' was augmented by his behaviour towards Hilary Swank's character. Leonidas' behaviour towards his wife was not so 'hot', in my opinion.

 

Ahem...carry on...

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Posted
When a musician is playing at a gig or when an athlete is competing in a meet, they're "flaunting" in an appropriate context. Going to see a musician perform or an athlete compete would be like someone coming into the library while I was a grad student and watching me write up a research paper on some obscure topic I had to work on.

 

That's different from sitting at a table with someone on a date and whipping out a guitar, running shoes, or a research paper and being all, "Hey, I just got back from, uh, doin' this thing I do...*ahem-checkitout-ahem*" or being sure to mention it multiple times so they absolutely know how awesome you are for doing x, y, z.

 

This is a great point. Context makes all the difference. And I must say, the example in your second paragraph is a little silly (:p:laugh:). Let me give you another example. Let's say you're on a date with a guy and you decide to go to a karaoke bar. You really want him to sing, hoping to see him make a complete arse of himself. He is hesitant but finally agrees. It turns out this guy is an f'in Frank Sinatra and can actually sing... He has "flaunted" to you in an appropriate context. What result?

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Posted
The Gerard Butler in P.S. I Love You :laugh:

 

From what I remember from both films, his 'hotness' was augmented by his behaviour towards Hilary Swank's character. Leonidas' behaviour towards his wife was not so 'hot', in my opinion.

 

Ahem...carry on...

 

I personally found Leonidas considerably hotter. :laugh::laugh:

Posted

 

But people often make judgments based on what they see, and if they see a juiced up meathead with an embarassingly tight shirt, or no shirt at all, they tend to assume he's just a dumb gym rat who cares only about himself and his abs. I don't want to portray that image. The other night, I asked that girl for her number and was promptly denied, and it made me wonder whether she had already judged me as a meathead and was turned off by it...and I know that clubs are terrible places for meeting folks since it's more or less a meat market based on physical attributes...it just kinda happened I guess and I jumped at the opportunity...

 

It's really difficult to know what a person is thinking. I admit I immediately write off guys who are incredibly fit. But not because I think they are stupid, but because I think they want a woman who is super petite and thin.

 

I think it's best to dress that makes you feel happy rather than to impress someone else. That's what I do. If I feel comfortable, then I can focus on the other person rather than on myself.

 

I feel you on the meeting people in clubs thing. It's a tough environment and too often I've had guys chat me up, only to find out later they were coked up or on e.

Posted

Depends on your end goal and the situation. What kind of person do you want to attract and why? I find people (men or women) that dress so obviously as in your dancefloor scenario to be kind of tool-like. But that's because I'm looking for something serious and long-term; and although body type is an important element of attraction, not being a tool is MORE important.

 

As far as online dating, if you want to stand out from the crowd, just use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation and don't force your phone number or facebook handle on them after one or two emails... you will stand out, I promise. :rolleyes:

Posted
This is a great point. Context makes all the difference. And I must say, the example in your second paragraph is a little silly (:p:laugh:).

 

That's what I was aiming for. ;)

 

Let me give you another example. Let's say you're on a date with a guy and you decide to go to a karaoke bar. You really want him to sing, hoping to see him make a complete arse of himself. He is hesitant but finally agrees. It turns out this guy is an f'in Frank Sinatra and can actually sing... He has "flaunted" to you in an appropriate context. What result?

 

Well, first of all, I wouldn't prod a guy to sing if he didn't want to and I wouldn't want to see him make an arse of himself. ;)

 

But aside from that, I wouldn't consider that flaunting, and you're right to put it in quotes. It's not flaunting. It'd have been different if he had specifically chosen a karaoke bar because he wanted me to hear him sing and he absolutely insisted on singing something difficult so he could show off in front of everyone.

 

If he was kind of hesitant but agreed to sing and then turned out to have a wonderful talent, I'd be impressed.

Posted (edited)
I personally found Leonidas considerably hotter. :laugh::laugh:

 

You forgot to add, "no homo." :D

 

Joking aside, if we're talking about similarish comparisons, I prefer Brad Pitt's Achilles to Brad Pitt's Joe Black, though Death>Greek hero in terms of power. But there was also a cool factor to his Achilles that he did not have as Joe Black. Granted, the films are years apart in terms of his career and the production values are different. Anyway, I digress. My point is that YMMV.

 

(1) People who also have "it" are more likely to encourage others to flaunt "it,"

 

I agree with this to a certain extent. My friends and family who are more expressive and outgoing are more likely to encourage me to flaunt 'it'. Whereas my friends and family who are more conservative believe that I should put 'it' away.

Edited by january2011
Posted

In terms of looks: If you feel it would attract more partners, you should definitely flaunt it. However, you need to be more careful on who you attract.

In terms of an ability/talent: I think you should hold off, until you're absolutely sure that you're not going to attract a gold-digger or the equivalent of one. Yeah sure, if you can play "Stairway To Heaven" on guitar, and you're good at it, then you should definitely show it off. However, there's a reason why relationships that are based on the partner being talented wear off, because you're seeing the person through rose-tinted glasses, and aren't able to see them for who they really are.

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Posted

But aside from that, I wouldn't consider that flaunting, and you're right to put it in quotes. It's not flaunting.

 

And this is why I've been so careful in this thread to put "flaunt" and "hide" in quotes...because I don't necessarily mean to say those things literally...

 

If he was kind of hesitant but agreed to sing and then turned out to have a wonderful talent, I'd be impressed.

 

And this is what I mean by "concealing." You're not necessarily trying to cover it up completely, but there's a sense of modesty in that you don't need to actively let something be known.

Posted
It's really difficult to know what a person is thinking. I admit I immediately write off guys who are incredibly fit. But not because I think they are stupid, but because I think they want a woman who is super petite and thin.

 

I think it's best to dress that makes you feel happy rather than to impress someone else. That's what I do. If I feel comfortable, then I can focus on the other person rather than on myself.

 

I feel you on the meeting people in clubs thing. It's a tough environment and too often I've had guys chat me up, only to find out later they were coked up or on e.

 

I have as well, but I think it has more to do with the sterotype, men who are overly fit and gym obsessed are full of themselves and lack substance. But, I guess the same can be said of highly attractive women.

 

Or take for instance, women who flaunt their breasts. If you're out, and see a woman with a low cut neckline shirt, and her breasts are half way out. Or a woman who has fake breasts, well she may not necessarily flaunt them, but her own focus on their size - enough so that she paid a lot of money to have them enhanced.

 

These are all variables. Bottom line, each of us values our own attributes and we tend to want to emphasize those attributes in our own way.

Posted

If you have a muscular physique you don't need to emphasize or exaggerate it with clothes.

 

But you do have the luxury of having whatever clothes you like wearing to fit really, really, really well.

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Posted
You forgot to add, "no homo." :D

 

Touché. :laugh:

 

Joking aside, if we're talking about similarish comparisons, I prefer Brad Pitt's Achilles to Brad Pitt's Joe Black, though Death>Greek hero in terms of power. But there was also a cool factor to his Achilles that he did not have as Joe Black. Granted, the films are years apart in terms of his career and the production values are different. Anyway, I digress. My point is that YMMV.

 

Well, the point in my Gerard Butler example was to compare the degree of "flauntness" in each character, at least physically speaking, rather than comparing their personalities and non-physical attributes.

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Posted
Depends on your end goal and the situation. What kind of person do you want to attract and why? I find people (men or women) that dress so obviously as in your dancefloor scenario to be kind of tool-like. But that's because I'm looking for something serious and long-term; and although body type is an important element of attraction, not being a tool is MORE important.

 

And if you are looking for something more serious, then clubs are really one of the worst places to look for that. For one, physical attributes are really the only thing anyone has to go on to "find" someone in a club. It's too damn loud to have any sort of meaningful conversation, and even if you are able to meet someone and go out on a real date with them (or take them home that night... :rolleyes:), you'd have to be lucky as hell to find that they have a decent personality to go with the looks...

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