suddendumpee Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I think most people are right about girls, when they are done they are done. That's been my experience. It actually helps me maintain NC to think that my ex doesn't have any feelings for me anymore and is in fact probably annoyed by my very existence. As for what would happen if I were to run into her, I'd honestly probably try to ignore her. If that didn't work, I'd probably have to introduce myself. And if she asked me why I did that I'd tell her the truth... we never really knew each other anyway. What about when something ends abruptly with absolutely NO signs of things cooling off. Even ending abruptly when things are on the up and up? In my situation, my GF planned a trip to meet her family, gave me a key to her apt, and cared deeply for me up until a trip to visit her hometown where I believe she may have cheated. She abruptly ended things prior to the trip I believe out of guilt and feeling that she was leading me on. Seems that knee-jerk situations like this would more likely cause regret down the road than situations where things were going downhill for sometime before the end. No?
I have no title Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 What about when something ends abruptly with absolutely NO signs of things cooling off. Even ending abruptly when things are on the up and up? In my situation, my GF planned a trip to meet her family, gave me a key to her apt, and cared deeply for me up until a trip to visit her hometown where I believe she may have cheated. She abruptly ended things prior to the trip I believe out of guilt and feeling that she was leading me on. Seems that knee-jerk situations like this would more likely cause regret down the road than situations where things were going downhill for sometime before the end. No? Beleive it or not, but this is exactly how I broke up with my ex ex...Don't want to give you any hopes or any dissapointment, but what happened to me was that I just went on a summer-camp for 15 days..for the history (we dated for 1 year and things were going great all the time)...so at this summer camp I met another guy and I fell in love with him....when I came back after 15 days I ended it with my ex very abruptly and just the way you described...I just didn't love him anymore (even though we were planning to go on a trip together just in 2 weeks and things were going great between us)... So there you go...Of course I felt guilty, but its been 3 years since and I never contacted him again....I was just over it....he contacted me twice, but once again - I was so over him. I think if a girl ends it like this,its most probably because she had found another one. You know, when people suffer, cry, try to stay friends with you after or just before they break up with you, it shows that they still got some emotions, some feelings left. But if they just call you one day or text you saying "sorry, im done with you" - Bam! and never make a peep again, I think this is the toughest break up, but I also think that it shows that they are over you. I told you my story not to dissapoint you, but I hope it helps you to move on with your life. I'm really sorry if I have broken your mood, but I just tried to be honest with you... Girls are more cruel than guys, and usually, they don't doubt their decisions after they have made them..In MOST of the cases, if they end it up with you, no matter how, the are over with it forever.
Ajax Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 What about when something ends abruptly with absolutely NO signs of things cooling off. Even ending abruptly when things are on the up and up? In my situation, my GF planned a trip to meet her family, gave me a key to her apt, and cared deeply for me up until a trip to visit her hometown where I believe she may have cheated. She abruptly ended things prior to the trip I believe out of guilt and feeling that she was leading me on. Seems that knee-jerk situations like this would more likely cause regret down the road than situations where things were going downhill for sometime before the end. No? With my ex there was no "cooling off" period. We were very compatible sexually (I thought), got along great with each other's families, and were talking about the future. I also was given a key to her townhouse. A week before she ended things she said I was the best man she ever knew and the love of her life. Then she put the wall up and bailed. Who knows. Was this a "knee jerk reaction" as you mention? I think it probably was. I think she felt she was getting too close and panicked. Will she regret it? Maybe, but even if she does she'll convince herself that it was the right thing to do. I'm not saying she's heartless mind you, she can be a very passionate and loving woman... but I don't think she'll ever be able to confront and acknowledge her insecurities or the fact that she hurt someone she had once loved so deeply. In her mind it seemed, even when we were together, that it was better to burn the past and start with a clean slate than to learn from it.
suddendumpee Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Beleive it or not, but this is exactly how I broke up with my ex ex...Don't want to give you any hopes or any dissapointment, but what happened to me was that I just went on a summer-camp for 15 days..for the history (we dated for 1 year and things were going great all the time)...so at this summer camp I met another guy and I fell in love with him....when I came back after 15 days I ended it with my ex very abruptly and just the way you described...I just didn't love him anymore (even though we were planning to go on a trip together just in 2 weeks and things were going great between us)... So there you go...Of course I felt guilty, but its been 3 years since and I never contacted him again....I was just over it....he contacted me twice, but once again - I was so over him. I think if a girl ends it like this,its most probably because she had found another one. You know, when people suffer, cry, try to stay friends with you after or just before they break up with you, it shows that they still got some emotions, some feelings left. But if they just call you one day or text you saying "sorry, im done with you" - Bam! and never make a peep again, I think this is the toughest break up, but I also think that it shows that they are over you. I told you my story not to dissapoint you, but I hope it helps you to move on with your life. I'm really sorry if I have broken your mood, but I just tried to be honest with you... Girls are more cruel than guys, and usually, they don't doubt their decisions after they have made them..In MOST of the cases, if they end it up with you, no matter how, the are over with it forever. Thanks for your story, and no worries, I like to hear real world situations from someone on the "other side". And I don't mean to attack your character, but I have to say that this type of behavior concerns me. It seems that MANY people who are in loving/caring relationship misinterpret the transition from the honeymoon stage to the deeper levels of love, as a LOSS of love. It's like a crack-head looking for that buzz of the first hit, and spending their entire lives chasing it. Always looking for something better, when the have already met many people they could have had very complete and happy lives with. New and exciting always FEELS more life love than something comfortable and secure, but eventually it all ends up the same. I feel like our duty as a partner in a happy and caring relationship is to avoid the temptation to stray and avoid situations that make us WANT to stray (alcohol etc.) Relationships take work, and it seems nobody realizes that anymore. When the going gets tough, they bail. When something slightly more attractive comes along, the bail. Anyway, my ex cried profusely as she broke things off with me. She has even send me 2 emails (I havent responded). I would love to get your input (specifically on her last email to me). I havent had enough female input on this yet. Thanks. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t259935/
lee123 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 My ex contacted me. She was like, hi. So i said hi, how are you. She said "well, things have been bad for me...." Did a contact her again no. I'm a nice guy, but what she did killed me. Then she comes back as soon as, life's not going her way. Sick of it. Considering i gave her a second chance before that.
I have no title Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Dear suddendumpee, I followed the link and read your post, and now I am going to tell you my opinion about it. I will follow my woman logic, and it doesn't mean that I am completely right in what I will say, since I dont know what has been between you two, and what kind of person is your ex gf, but nevertheless, I will say what I think she meant: You say she dumped you all of a sudden right? with no cooling and so on..and what have I told you when I first replied to your post on this thread? That she had probably dumped you in this manner because she has found another man...As far as I can see, I was right. Now what I think, is that she did find another man before she broke up with you. I would even allow myself to consider that she fell in love with him before she broke up with you. You would ask why? Because nobody puts up pictures hugging/kissing another guy a week after they broke up with their boyfriend, UNLESS they have already fallen in love with another person. The fact that she uploaded them, means she didn't care how you will feel seeing them. I would say, she didn't even think about your feelings when she was uploading them - she was rather thinking how nice and sweet it would be to show all her friends on facebook how lovely her new guy is. When you are totally in love with a new person,you dont feel any sadness and sorrow for the one you just dumped, so she didn't consider you, when she uploaded them. Then you have sent her a PM, which she, beleive me!, didnt expect from you. At that point she already forgot about you, but here you are again, and yeah, you busted her with her new guy! Since she had to reply quickly, she didn't think much of what to reply, or HOW to reply, so she completely agreed with you on everything you said in your PM, and if you read between all those sweet and polite words,she just meant : "yeah, i moved on, I got a new guy, im really sorry, forget about me". When she replied, she didn't think about it too much...and therefore she forgot to make up a lie and assure you that she hasnt cheated on you. In fact, she DID cheat on you (therefore she dumped you like that, and therefore the pictures were there just after 7 days), but because she didn't think much before replying your FB message - she simply forgot to lie that she didnt Now what happened 2 weeks later? she sat down one day, and her woman's brain realized "damn when I replied him on facebook, I totally forgot to make something up and tell him that I didnt cheat on him while I was with him.Thats probably why he sent me that facebook message, he thinks im some bitch..let me fix that". You like it or not, women don't like to leave a bad impression after they left, and they wont like you walking around and saying "my ex was a bitch she cheated on me and left me". They want to leave that sweet-adorable impression about them, so you can suffer because they went and miss them for longer. Therefore she decided to fix this by the email she sent you. In her next email she clearly supports what I have just said. Just look at the beginning "I know this might seem strange, but I wanted to reach out to you, out of respect for you and what we had together" - in her brain it sounded like "I know my message might seem strange (cause I didnt plan to write it if I wudnt be recently busted), but since it happened, I wanted to reach out to you, and make you beleive I didnt sleep with that guy while I was with you (cause you have to miss me as the best thing in your life not get over me because I was a bitch and cheated), and I'll try to convice you in that, by highlighting the fact that i respect you sooo much" She knows that if she puts emphasis on the adorable time you had together, and on how much she regrets all that happened,and all the memories blabla - you will most probably beleive her words and accept that she was just "interested" in her new guy and nothing more. Personally I dont beleive a word of what she says. If she would really feel guilt for what she had done, she would have written this letter as a reply to your first FB message. To me, this entire email is just pushing on your sensitive sides to make you beleive she was not a bitch and she didnt cheat on you...yeah girl, than what about this sudden passion in your pictures just 7 days after you broke up with your bf? Did your interest (as you stated) just suddenly turn into a fire only in 7 days after your break up? and where is the sadness after the break-up and where is the guilt? Nooo way, she feels no guilt, just wants to save her image and feed her ego in front of your eyes. This is how this everything looks to me! I might be wrong, but women are cruel, I already said that.. My advice, stay NC, and if you need some further insight, I am glad to help you.. I hope I made my points clear though, cause its hard to express everything I think. If my comments are right, she will not contact you anymore, or contact you to make sure "you beleived all she said, and she is still a nice little girl in your mind and now you can leave her alone with her new bf". I hope I have helped....good luck and if something, ask
Ajax Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 If my comments are right, she will not contact you anymore, or contact you to make sure "you beleived all she said, and she is still a nice little girl in your mind and now you can leave her alone with her new bf". I hope I have helped....good luck and if something, ask In which case, don't respond.
radrluv72 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I have a question. How many of you broke up (or got broken up with) & have not heard from your ex after implementing NC? How long after it ended? Do most ex’s try to get back into contact? Or do they just fade away? I have been broken up with my ex for about three months and have not heard a peep. I've had a couple of rare instances where a few exes did get in touch with me...one of them, who I had dated for 4 months, we would always bump into eachother here and there over then course of the last 17 years. Now we're FB friends, but we rarely communicate. Frankly, I find him to be quite overbearing. I mean, quoting *yourself* in your status updates? Oh, please. Now that I look back on it, there were probably 3 of us in that relationship...me, him and his ego. On a more serious note, shortly after him, I got into my first serious relationship which lasted for just over year, and it was a reall doozy. He was a drinker, a pot smoker, he cheated on me repeatedly. When I finally ended it, a month later he showed up where I worked & wanted to talk. I went over to his place that weekend, only to find him hung over on the sofa. I pretty much knew at that point that it was over. He would continually try to contact me throughout the years, and I would always shut the door in his face, until about 4 or so years ago...he found me on Classmates.com & sent me a message, once again seeking sympathy for his own mistakes. The last message I sent to him, I was very clear and told him that I had moved on with my life, and that if he was seeking forgiveness for all the ways he'd wronged people who cared for him, it wasn't up to me to forgive him. He had to forgive himself. I never heard from him again. In addition to him, there was someone that I had met here in Omaha that I was in a long distance relationship with for about a year--he moved to Hawaii about a month after we got involved. Things pretty much fizzled out on their own because he didn't pay attention to me until I threatened to up & leave...one day on Labor Day, he called, I told him I was busy and never called him back. I was just tired of his games. About a year and a half later, near Valentine's Day, I was checking my voicemail on my phone and there was a message from him...and he sounded so different. Like he was scared to death to pick up the phone & call. There was no number left to call him back at, and he never called again...God knows what might have happened to him. Most of the guys I've dated in my life, I never see or hear from again, and in most cases it didn't bother me because they were never right for me to begin with. My most recent breakup though, has been different from all of them. He broke up with me out of insecurity & fear...he pretty much talked himself out of our relationship because he thought I was too good to be true, and he's stubborn as a mule. I'm in day 12 of NC right now, and it's been extremely rough. We did communicate for 3 weeks after the breakup, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Ideally, now that I've taken myself totally out of the picture so I can get myself straight, it may give him cause to think as well...or at least that's what my best guy friend thinks. But frankly, where I'm at right now, I don't think I could handle talking to him. If he contacted me, I have no idea what I'd say. Probably because I'm still totally in love with the idiot.
stopthemadness Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I have a question. How many of you broke up (or got broken up with) & have not heard from your ex after implementing NC? How long after it ended? Do most ex’s try to get back into contact? Or do they just fade away? I have been broken up with my ex for about three months and have not heard a peep. My ex emails me or calls me about every two weeks. I wish I could say I never respond, but sometimes I do.But as of saturday am going no contact. We were trying the friends thing, which as you know NEVER works..
suddendumpee Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) Dear suddendumpee, I followed the link and read your post, and now I am going to tell you my opinion about it. I will follow my woman logic, and it doesn't mean that I am completely right in what I will say, since I dont know what has been between you two, and what kind of person is your ex gf, but nevertheless, I will say what I think she meant: You say she dumped you all of a sudden right? with no cooling and so on..and what have I told you when I first replied to your post on this thread? That she had probably dumped you in this manner because she has found another man...As far as I can see, I was right. Now what I think, is that she did find another man before she broke up with you. I would even allow myself to consider that she fell in love with him before she broke up with you. You would ask why? Because nobody puts up pictures hugging/kissing another guy a week after they broke up with their boyfriend, UNLESS they have already fallen in love with another person. The fact that she uploaded them, means she didn't care how you will feel seeing them. I would say, she didn't even think about your feelings when she was uploading them - she was rather thinking how nice and sweet it would be to show all her friends on facebook how lovely her new guy is. When you are totally in love with a new person,you dont feel any sadness and sorrow for the one you just dumped, so she didn't consider you, when she uploaded them. Then you have sent her a PM, which she, beleive me!, didnt expect from you. At that point she already forgot about you, but here you are again, and yeah, you busted her with her new guy! Since she had to reply quickly, she didn't think much of what to reply, or HOW to reply, so she completely agreed with you on everything you said in your PM, and if you read between all those sweet and polite words,she just meant : "yeah, i moved on, I got a new guy, im really sorry, forget about me". When she replied, she didn't think about it too much...and therefore she forgot to make up a lie and assure you that she hasnt cheated on you. In fact, she DID cheat on you (therefore she dumped you like that, and therefore the pictures were there just after 7 days), but because she didn't think much before replying your FB message - she simply forgot to lie that she didnt Now what happened 2 weeks later? she sat down one day, and her woman's brain realized "damn when I replied him on facebook, I totally forgot to make something up and tell him that I didnt cheat on him while I was with him.Thats probably why he sent me that facebook message, he thinks im some bitch..let me fix that". You like it or not, women don't like to leave a bad impression after they left, and they wont like you walking around and saying "my ex was a bitch she cheated on me and left me". They want to leave that sweet-adorable impression about them, so you can suffer because they went and miss them for longer. Therefore she decided to fix this by the email she sent you. In her next email she clearly supports what I have just said. Just look at the beginning "I know this might seem strange, but I wanted to reach out to you, out of respect for you and what we had together" - in her brain it sounded like "I know my message might seem strange (cause I didnt plan to write it if I wudnt be recently busted), but since it happened, I wanted to reach out to you, and make you beleive I didnt sleep with that guy while I was with you (cause you have to miss me as the best thing in your life not get over me because I was a bitch and cheated), and I'll try to convice you in that, by highlighting the fact that i respect you sooo much" She knows that if she puts emphasis on the adorable time you had together, and on how much she regrets all that happened,and all the memories blabla - you will most probably beleive her words and accept that she was just "interested" in her new guy and nothing more. Personally I dont beleive a word of what she says. If she would really feel guilt for what she had done, she would have written this letter as a reply to your first FB message. To me, this entire email is just pushing on your sensitive sides to make you beleive she was not a bitch and she didnt cheat on you...yeah girl, than what about this sudden passion in your pictures just 7 days after you broke up with your bf? Did your interest (as you stated) just suddenly turn into a fire only in 7 days after your break up? and where is the sadness after the break-up and where is the guilt? Nooo way, she feels no guilt, just wants to save her image and feed her ego in front of your eyes. This is how this everything looks to me! I might be wrong, but women are cruel, I already said that.. My advice, stay NC, and if you need some further insight, I am glad to help you.. I hope I made my points clear though, cause its hard to express everything I think. If my comments are right, she will not contact you anymore, or contact you to make sure "you beleived all she said, and she is still a nice little girl in your mind and now you can leave her alone with her new bf". I hope I have helped....good luck and if something, ask I appreciate your input, but there are a few things that are incorrect regarding the pictures. Actually it was her friend who posted the album, not her. Then when the ex realized it, they frenzied to hide the album from me within 15 minutes. Not that this changes much. Not trying to hi-jack this thread,but you have your ability to receive PM's disabled. Can you change that so we can take this off forum? Thanks again. Edited January 12, 2011 by suddendumpee
coltsfan1 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 suddendempee- I think a user has to have a 100 posts to get PM's.
I have no title Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I appreciate your input, but there are a few things that are incorrect regarding the pictures. Actually it was her friend who posted the album, not her. Then when the ex realized it, they frenzied to hide the album from me within 15 minutes. Not that this changes much. Not trying to hi-jack this thread,but you have your ability to receive PM's disabled. Can you change that so we can take this off forum? Thanks again. I would also rather prefer making this conversation private, but I tried to activate the PMs and I cant..You can add me on facebook though..my nick is Galina Bella. Hopefully none of my exs is sitting here
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Basically all my exes have got back in contact with me after dumping me and absolutely no good came of it if anything it just made me feel worse.
carhill Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 On PM's it's 30 days membership and 60 posts and one must 'activate' PM's in their control panel. Alternatively, an immediate and larger (250 vs 70) PM box is available if one subscribes for a fee.
durkadurka Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Almost two weeks ago I told my ex off for good. I'd been ducking her phone calls for a week or two, my spidey senses told me something was up. I put my guard up, and started ignoring her calls and texts. Eventually, after some prodding, I called her and told her we couldn't talk anymore and that nothing positive was coming from it for me. A week later (last Saturday) I woke up to a message saying: Are you sure you don't want to talk to me? I miss talking to you. There is nothing that I would like more than be able to talk to her. I would love to say, I want to talk to you too. I would like to be able to see her and be able to do fun stuff with her. But I can't, and I won't. She has a boyfriend. Giving her an inch would be a bad choice. I am glad that she misses me, but I don't get anything out of our relationship now. I would simply like to take the lessons that I have learned from dealing with her, and move on. On some ****ed up level, I'm doing this for her new boyfriend. Not only is it not fair to me that she wants the best of what I offer, while giving me nothing, it's also rude to her new guy. If she wanted me, and wants what I offer, she shouldn't have done what she has done.
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I miss talking to you. I am glad that she misses me My advice would be not to equate nor confuse these two realities. 1
durkadurka Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 My advice would be not to equate nor confuse these two realities. Okay well the 3 previous messages she sent me including the one on New Years said she missed me. Whatever. The result is still the same.
fiat500 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I don't know. In my experience, once guys are done, they're done. My first ex asked to be friends after breaking up with me and never really made an effort to be my friend after that. Requests of friendship from a guy after breaking up aren't real. My second ex asked to be friends and I refused. A guy doesn't care about you as much once he breaks up with you. You are placed "below friend" status. You're like a big "Ew" to him. Tell me if I'm wrong.
carhill Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 In my experience, once guys are done, they're done. Polite disinterest, IMO, would be a healthy balance. Words are tools. They have many purposes and can be used to achieve many goals, one of which is to incite or manipulate emotion.
WiseOne1 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I have had ex's attempt to reach out. One ex started to reach out after 2 years of not talking, I remember there was a time, that her EGO was so big, that she acted like I had to be on a "waiting list" just to talk to her. I had changed my number since our last conversation, and the next thing you know....I get 6 messages on Myspace of her trying to talk to me, I never even responded!!! And then I got 4 friend request of which I IGNORED. Bassically she had gained 200lbs since we dated, and was no longer attractive to all the other guys, so she decided to try her luck with me again.
Author J0N Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 There is something about the way that my relationship with my ex ended that sort of told me that it is highly unlikely that I will ever hear from her again. She was never an extremely decisive girl, and with her decision she seemed to waver a bit. However she wanted to avoid meeting in person because I am almost positive that she knew that we could work out our issues (because honestly they were just not that serious).* She tried to put all the blame on me to justify her decision to herself, when I know that our issues were mutual and just not serious enough to split what I thought was a stable relationship. They were silly little things, many of which had come up before and could usually be solved with an apology, and maybe a backrub. *Anyways, back to her being indecisive, she has made this decision (on what appeared to have been a whim) and has never looked back. I am really trying to avoid over analyzing the situation, but I think that she was just being immature and was scared of taking the next step in our relationship which would have required increasing our commitment to each other substantially. In my eyes, if she got a job offer here where I live (and it paid about $8,500 more a year than the one she accepted in California) and she really loved me, there would have been no reason to leave me to go to California. Keep in mind, the job offer here and in California were for the same position, at companies which were extremely similar. I know because I helped her write the cover letters and apply for both. I absolutely bent over backwards for this chick and she just abandoned me. I imagine that now she will never have the guts to show her face in front of me again.*
Ajax Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I absolutely bent over backwards for this chick and she just abandoned me. I imagine that now she will never have the guts to show her face in front of me again.* Same here. Mine also seemed to decide to leave on a whim. In fact she told some mutual friends that she just woke up that day and had to get out. She's a runner. The more time that goes by though the less I care. I was good to her and did my best not to suffocate her in our relationship and she bailed. She'll run from the next guy too.
stopthemadness Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 I have a question. How many of you broke up (or got broken up with) & have not heard from your ex after implementing NC? How long after it ended? Do most ex’s try to get back into contact? Or do they just fade away? I have been broken up with my ex for about three months and have not heard a peep. Ok I wish my ex would fade away. Seems every few weeks he makes up a reason to contact me. Am gona stop taking his calls and answering his emails. Every time we talk. it sets me back. I do really good in the time when dont talk. I am getting stronger though. My therapist says dont beat your self up for taking his calls. Just try to refrain from taking them. It would be better for me to have NO CONTACT all the way really!!!
hitbyatruck Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) Moving on = acceptance. Acceptance requires physical distance + emotional distance/independence. Like some here, I have a young child with my ex. Physical meetings are weekly and necessary for drop off/pick up. Electronic non-essential child-related communication (always initiated by her) has become daily - my mistake. By allowing her to keep me up to date with our child's progress on most of the days I don't see him, ie. texts & pics (which I do enjoy) I have allowed her, through our son, to keep a comfortable emotional link between us after our long relationship. This is despite her actions this year (My story - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t236926/) and the fact her affair/rebound, rebounded again after our failed recon and continues to this day. On top of this I have too often answered her calls to discuss our child rather than in person at the exchange or via text/email. This is slowing my recovery, I know. Everything was easier before the reconciliation attempt as it was as close to NC as was possible with a young child. There was tension between us but it was definitely easier. NC is only possible via a neutral person to facilitate child changeover OR estrangement from my child. Nobody wants that. With a young child, NC or maybe even LC can be irresponsible. Once the dust had again settled, we both agreed that our son seeing us get along for a short period at changeover would be good for him, so what is emotionally difficult for me (and surely her to some degree) is emotionally advantageous to our son. This is a difficult and contradictory situation which is ongoing. My point is this: I believe that no matter what the emotional connection was between a couple, a break up becomes so much more complicated when you have a child together, particularly when it involves cheating/betrayal - or double betrayal in my case. (OM was a friend.) So, a message to the broken-hearted without children: NC or even LC is usually not possible for divorced or separated responsible parents but it is for you. Take full advantage of it. Edited January 14, 2011 by hitbyatruck
hitbyatruck Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Geez, it looks like I killed the thread. Sorry OP.
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