IM5150 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 This is killing me inside, it's tearing me up and I still can't let her go. I don't know what's wrong with me and I hate it! We've been together for 3 years. We lived together for half that time. She goes on a trip and when she gets back she says that she went out with someone and that she wants to continue to see this person. Now are relationship was rocky at that time but ****, no way to end it. Anyways, I was sooo pissed and went NC for 30 days. Then we talked a bit. Started hanging out again. The guy that she said she went out with was out of the picture, he lived in another state so it wouldn't have worked anyways. Now here we are. We go have dinner, we go on walks, we ride bikes together, we kiss and hold hands in the car, all this but NO SEX. It's been going on for a couple of months now and I'm so frustrated. Here I am with the girl that I use to have mad passionate sex with, I find her extremely HOT, and I'm not having sex with her. At times after a workout she'll jump in my shower and ask me to adjust the water temperature while she in the shower naked! You know the torture I go through when I see her naked. It's just not fair. I want out but I can't for the life of me cut her out of my life. Is it because I'm so in love with her? She's like my obsession. I feel like I'm walking on heaven when I'm with her and the moment I drop her off I feel a sudden change inside me and i become very lonely again just waiting for the phone to ring and it be her. I would love to have an open relationship with her at this point. Heck, if we're gonna hang out together why can't we just have sex like we use to. I want to feel this level of intimacy with her, I need this. As far as I know there is no other man involved because we are always doing stuff together. I do get VERY jealous when she goes out without me sometimes. She's a very attractive girl. As a matter of fact, she's a professional model with a top modeling agency. Even when we go to bars together, all guy stare at her and I feel they are undressing her with their eyes. It bugs the **** out of me. I love her company, we have fun together, I love to cuddle with her, she makes me feels so good inside when I'm with her. I feel like NC with her is not even an options but If she's not going to be intimate with me i don't know what else to do to get over the feelings i have for her. I would hope that another girl would come into my life so I don't have to go NC but i just don't see that happening. I have gone out on a couple of dates and have even had sex with a girl a couple of times that she doesn't know about but it's just not the same. My dates felt forced and i ended up talking about her at some point. I feel so co dependant on her and it sucks. My life sucks right now in this department. ;( Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 She does not feel the same about you. You are just torturing yourself by being around her. Don't try to be friends with her, it will never work while you still have feelings. NC all the way dude. Link to post Share on other sites
pieturli Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I can safely say that NC is the way to go right now. You CAN be friends with your ex, but only when you get completely over her. Until then, NC is the only way to go as I see it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author IM5150 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I feared that this would be the answer. As I type this she lays in the bed with me taking a nap. She's asleep but I'm awake hurting inside. Today we went to the gym and had a great workout together. Came back home and i asked her if she wanted to take a shower, initially she said no, thats ok, I didn't sweat that much. In my head I was already thinking to myself that she didn't want to put herself in the same position she did before. That was a blow to me, it told me that again, I had no chance. I got upset, I can tell she sensed it. I told her that I was going to take a shower and I did. After the shower she decided on taking one herself but joked to not try and get into her pants because then I'm going to be the one to get upset at her and how we had already talked about this. At this point I'm really upset and the thoughts are flowing through my mind asking myself what the heck am I doing here with her. She obviously has no intentions of trying to work anything out with me. Doesn't she know what I'm going through? Doesn't she care? She's just acting selfish, trying to enjoy hanging out with me but not have to give into my needs. That's BS. As it stands she can call or talk or go out with any guy and I'm not supposed to care because we're just friends? This is bull****. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeToBe Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 IM - Cut her loose! Here, have a cup of wake-the-eff-up... She is using you for nothing more than the sheer pleasure of your pining and attention. Woo-hoo! I gotta guy who wants me so bad but uh-uh no waaaaay. Really. You owe it to yourself and every other future man that this girl will encounter to step-it-up, be a man, and tell her to blank-off. No one has the right to play with another person in such a way... She knows well what she is doing to you and is enjoying it. Cut contact with her now. Why would you torture yourself like this? That's some painful stuff to deal with - naked in front of you?! She knows it hurts you and enjoys it... She may not be a terrible person, but wow, what good is she doing you? You may love this girl, but from your posts, it really does sound like a very strong sexual/physical connection for YOU. I know how that feels and it's like a drug. Get off the drug and sober up. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
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