Jump to content

Anybody leave their spouse because of an affair and regret the decision?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

  • Author
Posted
This is not about me. It's about the OP. I share my personal experiences in an attempt to help people. To let them know that others have been through what they're going through and to show them what one possible future looks like. They are free to take from it what they will, or nothing at all.

 

When a couple is torn by an A, each person must decide for themselves which possible paths are and are not acceptable - stay married for love, for the kids, for financial/security reasons, or not at all. And any decision that is acceptable to both must be considered acceptable, period. It's not for anyone else to judge. My W and I took the path we're on with our eyes wide open, and I hope the OP and her H do the same, whatever that path may be.

 

MK

 

You are a very wise person...I can tell by the words that you write. Life can get messy, it is what you do when it gets messy that counts! We are all only human, doing the best we can day to day. We all make errors in judgement at times and find ways to cope with our unhappiness that may be unhealthy. Some are alcoholics, drug addicts, shopaholics, overeaters ...it goes on and on..and YES some people look to an A to ease there unhappiness..it happens all the time-but once it does, it makes you question everything you ever thought was true about yourself as a person.

I am trying to work through this with my HB, am maintaining NC and trying to move past this. It's not as if I am continuing this on the side, behind my HB back. It is his choice to stay and keep working on things, I do not have a gun to his head.

Posted
It is his choice to stay and keep working on things, I do not have a gun to his head.

 

YOU should be the one doing most the work after you almost got sexual with OM, had the affair kept going. It makes no sense that he's working his butt off for you after you sneaked behind his back.

Posted
I know right? That's why cheaters make no sense. She said in another thread her OM made her feel sexy, alive, and wanted and now he's a loser? It is sad though that she decided to not give her husband and kids the love and committment they needed. I feel for them.

 

 

Cheaters often don't operate with a rational thought process. They just want whatever stimulus is comforting to them in the moment. So in the other thread, if it at the time she wrote it, it made her feel good to believe something and write about it, she did so, simply because it made her feel good at the time she actually wrote about it. Was it actually true or not? Who knows. That doesn't even matter.

 

When she felt that it would make her feel good to denigrate the OM, she did that. The seeming inconsistency in the cheater's two attitudes misses the point. There is a greater consistency at work--"What makes me feel good RIGHT NOW."

 

The reason cheaters often appear over-sensitive to criticism about their actions is not because they don't recognize that they did something wrong. It's because being criticized makes them feel bad. Rather than responding to the stimulus of feeling bad by looking at the bad feeling (feeling bad, unhappy, guilty, sad) as a signal that they should change their behavior, they tend to respond to the bad feeling by getting rid of what is making them feel bad the easiest way possible.

 

This is simply how they have learned to adapt to many of life's problems, take the shortest path to whatever they think will make them "feel good" in the shortest amount of time/in the immediate present or near future.

 

So that's why many cheaters view the message boards completely differently from betrayed spouses. BS's tend to view the message boards as a tool (to vent, to solve a problem), not as a way of creating stimuli to make themselves "feel good." WSs are much more likely to view the message board as they do everything else in life--their spouse, their affair partner--that is, as something they can try to "use" to make themselves feel good.

Posted
Cheaters often don't operate with a rational thought process. They just want whatever stimulus is comforting to them in the moment. So in the other thread, if it at the time she wrote it, it made her feel good to believe something and write about it, she did so, simply because it made her feel good at the time she actually wrote about it. Was it actually true or not? Who knows. That doesn't even matter.

 

When she felt that it would make her feel good to denigrate the OM, she did that. The seeming inconsistency in the cheater's two attitudes misses the point. There is a greater consistency at work--"What makes me feel good RIGHT NOW."

 

The reason cheaters often appear over-sensitive to criticism about their actions is not because they don't recognize that they did something wrong. It's because being criticized makes them feel bad. Rather than responding to the stimulus of feeling bad by looking at the bad feeling (feeling bad, unhappy, guilty, sad) as a signal that they should change their behavior, they tend to respond to the bad feeling by getting rid of what is making them feel bad the easiest way possible.

 

This is simply how they have learned to adapt to many of life's problems, take the shortest path to whatever they think will make them "feel good" in the shortest amount of time/in the immediate present or near future.

 

So that's why many cheaters view the message boards completely differently from betrayed spouses. BS's tend to view the message boards as a tool (to vent, to solve a problem), not as a way of creating stimuli to make themselves "feel good." WSs are much more likely to view the message board as they do everything else in life--their spouse, their affair partner--that is, as something they can try to "use" to make themselves feel good.

 

There isn't some force of nature or natural scent that makes them be selfish, disrespectful and sneaky for months and even years at a time. Some stimulus, endorphine or fructose isn't going to make someone be sluuty for another man/woman. It's just pure selfishness and ignorance. They knew what they were doing and even now in the aftermath they refuse to change. If they had a problem, they knew they should've opened their mouths or separate/divorce their spouse. Plain and simple, cut and dry.

  • Like 1
Posted
We all make errors in judgement at times and find ways to cope with our unhappiness that may be unhealthy. Some are alcoholics, drug addicts, shopaholics, overeaters ...it goes on and on..and YES some people look to an A to ease there unhappiness

 

and some people simply work on their house, do some landscaping, hit the gym....etc

 

 

It is his choice to stay and keep working on things, I do not have a gun to his head.

 

to some, fear of uprooting kids lives is gun enough.

 

you say its his choice to stay...ok. Did you tell him that you cannot get other man out of your head and that you are pining for him?

Posted
I am trying to work through this with my HB, am maintaining NC and trying to move past this. It's not as if I am continuing this on the side, behind my HB back.

 

yes, but the topic of this thread you started is "ANYBODY LEAVE THEIR SPOUSE BECAUSE OF AN AFFAIR AND REGRET THE DECISION?"

 

This means you are/were thinking about it because you aren't wanting to stay in your marriage for the right reasons.

 

If OM wasn't a "loser", you would be seriously thinking about leaving for your AP. thats the problem.

  • Author
Posted
yes, but the topic of this thread you started is "ANYBODY LEAVE THEIR SPOUSE BECAUSE OF AN AFFAIR AND REGRET THE DECISION?"

 

This means you are/were thinking about it because you aren't wanting to stay in your marriage for the right reasons.

 

If OM wasn't a "loser", you would be seriously thinking about leaving for your AP. thats the problem.

 

No, I actually tried to word it in such a way to make it clear I am not considering leaving FOR the OM..just if our MG is over BECAUSE of my A.

I feel like it was the last nail in the coffin (yes on my part for sure). I am just wondering if anybody left a MG in my situation, and regretted not staying to see if it could be worked out.

I can't say for certain, that if the OM had more going for him that would have made me leave my HB..I was not looking for another man so I could leave my family...I just got too close to OM-and didn't realize it was an EA until I was in the thick of it. I honestly did not know there was EA's...I didnt do anything physical so I didn't think we had crossed any obvious lines at first, until I read something online about EA being more dangerous than physical ones because you get to know the OP on a more intimate level for feelings to develop. By the time I realized it..I had feelings for this person I did not know what to do with-then once I realized what was going on I made efforts (a few different times) to end it.

I realize now I WAS unfaithful-and that was WRONG, no two ways about it:but I am not the only one to blame for the demise of our MG. We both had a hand in that, I just made poor choices in how I dealt with the pain of being treated badly in my MG.I found comfort with OM..not good, but it is what it is. Now to deal with the aftermath of my actions....

  • Author
Posted
and some people simply work on their house, do some landscaping, hit the gym....etc

 

 

 

 

to some, fear of uprooting kids lives is gun enough.

 

you say its his choice to stay...ok. Did you tell him that you cannot get other man out of your head and that you are pining for him?

 

I agree the kids are a huge factor...for us both. That is certain.

 

Yes he knows I am working to get over OM...and that I have not forgotten about him completely, and that it takes time. But we have stopped talking about that because it is too much for him to handle (understandably) but-he knows it is there, and all he cares about right now is that I stay away from OM.

Posted
Yes he knows I am working to get over OM...and that I have not forgotten about him completely, and that it takes time. But we have stopped talking about that because it is too much for him to handle (understandably) but-he knows it is there, and all he cares about right now is that I stay away from OM.

 

As a former WS, I do understand this. However not only is it too much for your H to handle seeing your pain over the OM, it is also very unfair to expect him to see you mourn the end of the relationship. I do know how hard this is but you have to find a way of dealing with it where you minimise the impact on your husband. Are you having any individual counselling? That might provide a place for you to deal with a lot of your emotions and thoughts that are best not expressed to your husband.

 

Your marriage cannot really begin to recover until you have moved on more from where you are now. It can function in a tolerable way but not for the long term. I know that in my situation, my H had a limit of what he would put up with and how long he would wait (thankfully I found my way back to him before reaching that point).

Posted
I realize now I WAS unfaithful-and that was WRONG, no two ways about it:but I am not the only one to blame for the demise of our MG. We both had a hand in that, I just made poor choices in how I dealt with the pain of being treated badly in my MG.I found comfort with OM..not good, but it is what it is. Now to deal with the aftermath of my actions....

 

May be you are not the only one to be blamed for your bad marriage, but there is no doubt only you are to be blamed for the cheating. It sounds like you are blaming your H for the cheating too....

Posted

I feel BS staying in a marriage only because of financial reasons or kids... and not love... is like having a relationship with a zombie...:laugh: is it worth it.....

Posted
No, I actually tried to word it in such a way to make it clear I am not considering leaving FOR the OM..just if our MG is over BECAUSE of my A.

 

uh, no, thats not consistent with the title of your thread.

 

if you weren't thinking about what life would be like if you were with your affair parnter, you wouldn't have started this thread with your first post and the title as it is.

 

 

I realize now I WAS unfaithful-and that was WRONG, no two ways about it:but I am not the only one to blame for the demise of our MG.

 

but you ARE the only one to blame for your unfaithfullness.

 

 

We both had a hand in that, I just made poor choices in how I dealt with the pain of being treated badly in my MG.I found comfort with OM..not good, but it is what it is. Now to deal with the aftermath of my actions....

 

and how are you dealing with the aftermath? here is a little peek into what your husband is thinking, no matter how much he wants to make the marriage work:

 

-he is thinking that he will never be able to trust you again

 

-he is thinking that anytime you are away from home that you are probably in some kind of contact with other man. he may say he will believe you if you tell him it isn't the case, but in the back of his mind, he will be a little suspicious

 

-he is thinking about how life would be with someone else, or single again. he may not be thinking seriously about it, but since you had your connection with another man, I assure you, he is wondering about life without you, even if he is committed to staying in the marriage.

 

-he is thinking that you are not the same person he thought he knew.

 

-he is thinking that, even though you may be a part of the reason(even if very small), that the main reason he is wanting to keep the marriage is because of the kids and uncertainty of what will happen in a divorce situation.

 

-he will always be thinking in his head about what you did to him, but will more than likely choose to bottle it up.

 

 

now, knowing all of that, what are you prepared to do to make this up to him?

Posted (edited)
Really?? Not sure if this was contributing in any way. PIH has never been unkind in any of her posts be it a WS, BS, etc. I think the point you are trying to make has been driven home in this thread already.

 

Thanks LD for your support:) I do say what I think and if I see what I perceive to be rude, I do speak up most of the time...many do not like this. It seems as if the OM/OW/WS do take a beating on the boards and I do speak up, and that is never taken very well.

 

Actually I think PIH is a big girl who can defend whatever anyones response is for one. Secondly I have had threads where she's consistantly defending the OW... so her perception on BS's and R's is a lil tainted if you ask me. Just read my previous threads..and you'll see why. In either case...you also go on and on about how your relationship is so dandy...then you post threads like a million of them on how unhappy you are..and are still torn about this affair dude u had an affair with for 2 months...so in MY opinion...you opinion is a lil tainted too!

 

It seems as if there is more of a need to stand with OW/OM/WS due to the horrible remarks that I read. To debate/converse is one thing, although I see the tone/words to be quite out of line and that is one area that I speak up.

 

Having been all of the above BS/WS/OW...I can identify with all. Being the OW was the hardest because it went against my belief system, and the fact that I felt uncomfortable talking about another persons business (exDM). The WS occured prior to my change in beliefs. I have forgiven myself for all of the above and have found a lack of compasion for certain circumstances of various people.

 

I did have an extreme bad experience with a BS/WS (she was a WS too). The majority of BS remind me of my experience and there is a level of hatred that is undeniable. I feel the cold tone in the posts and it's just weird to me because I was never like that even with all of the betrayals, I never put "everything" in the "man", I saw him as human, although I was not mature enough to work on the M...they all wanted to work it out.

 

When I saw OP and the replies that followed I was hurt that she IME got nailed and was even agreeing with everyone and that still wasn't enough and the nailing continued.

 

I know my post will be taken completely out of context...they usually are, although I know the truth and I know right/wrong/forgiveness/compassion/understanding....do I always walk in it...no, but I am learning.

 

FTR, LD is a cool person and has been through a lot...we all go back and forth with feelings and emotions during the healing process...she is stablising though and has held to the most important thing...her M is number one according to the posts I have read. I think that is extremely courageous.

 

I am not cutting down those that left their M....maybe had I stayed they would not have worked anyway...I never tried and that is what I consider myself to be immature.

Edited by pureinheart
  • Author
Posted
uh, no, thats not consistent with the title of your thread.

 

if you weren't thinking about what life would be like if you were with your affair parnter, you wouldn't have started this thread with your first post and the title as it is.

 

 

 

 

but you ARE the only one to blame for your unfaithfullness.

 

 

 

 

and how are you dealing with the aftermath? here is a little peek into what your husband is thinking, no matter how much he wants to make the marriage work:

 

-he is thinking that he will never be able to trust you again

 

-he is thinking that anytime you are away from home that you are probably in some kind of contact with other man. he may say he will believe you if you tell him it isn't the case, but in the back of his mind, he will be a little suspicious

 

-he is thinking about how life would be with someone else, or single again. he may not be thinking seriously about it, but since you had your connection with another man, I assure you, he is wondering about life without you, even if he is committed to staying in the marriage.

 

-he is thinking that you are not the same person he thought he knew.

 

-he is thinking that, even though you may be a part of the reason(even if very small), that the main reason he is wanting to keep the marriage is because of the kids and uncertainty of what will happen in a divorce situation.

 

-he will always be thinking in his head about what you did to him, but will more than likely choose to bottle it up.

 

 

now, knowing all of that, what are you prepared to do to make this up to him?

 

Wow....I feel like I have actually gotten some helpful feed back from you! Thanks for the insights....I agree with all of the above. I believe he IS feeling all of those things, most of it he has told me.

 

As for making it up to him...I am not sure what to do, or where to start.

Posted
Thanks LD for your support:) I do say what I think and if I see what I perceive to be rude, I do speak up most of the time...many do not like this. It seems as if the OM/OW/WS do take a beating on the boards and I do speak up, and that is never taken very well.

 

 

 

It seems as if there is more of a need to stand with OW/OM/WS due to the horrible remarks that I read. To debate/converse is one thing, although I see the tone/words to be quite out of line and that is one area that I speak up.

 

Having been all of the above BS/WS/OW...I can identify with all. Being the OW was the hardest because it went against my belief system, and the fact that I felt uncomfortable talking about another persons business (exDM). The WS occured prior to my change in beliefs. I have forgiven myself for all of the above and have found a lack of compasion for certain circumstances of various people.

 

I did have an extreme bad experience with a BS/WS (she was a WS too). The majority of BS remind me of my experience and there is a level of hatred that is undeniable. I feel the cold tone in the posts and it's just weird to me because I was never like that even with all of the betrayals, I never put "everything" in the "man", I saw him as human, although I was not mature enough to work on the M...they all wanted to work it out.

 

When I saw OP and the replies that followed I was hurt that she IME got nailed and was even agreeing with everyone and that still wasn't enough and the nailing continued.

 

I know my post will be taken completely out of context...they usually are, although I know the truth and I know right/wrong/forgiveness/compassion/understanding....do I always walk in it...no, but I am learning.

 

FTR, LD is a cool person and has been through a lot...we all go back and forth with feelings and emotions during the healing process...she is stablising though and has held to the most important thing...her M is number one according to the posts I have read. I think that is extremely courageous.

 

I am not cutting down those that left their M....maybe had I stayed they would not have worked anyway...I never tried and that is what I consider myself to be immature.

 

Hmm interesting. Your thoughts on your posts?:confused:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t217774/

Posted

Hi Flowergirl77,

 

I know that your original post asked for opinions and thoughts from other people that have been there, but it seems that the thread has deviated from that. Everyone has given you some great insight and advice.

 

I was there 2 years ago. I made some terrible decisions in my life and although I didn't realize it at the time, I was justifying my actions by making myself believe that my marriage was terrible. Before long, even the little things that my husband would do or say began to drive me crazy. "What has our attention has our affection, what has our affection has our heart." At this time, my husband did not have my attention.

 

I left to be with OM. I was really in a fog because I never thought my husband would file for divorce... wrong! Anyway, it took me an entire year with the OM to finally shake him and work on myself. After a few months of being alone and finding forgiveness in myself, I realized that I left a wonderful, amazing marriage.

 

The key for you right now, is to work on yourself right now... not necessarily your marriage. It sounds crazy, but you have to fix yourself before you can fix what you have with your husband.

 

You have made great strides by avoiding OM, this is good! Remember to celebrate the small steps, because as insignificant as they may seem, they're huge in your growth.

Posted
Hi Flowergirl77,

 

I know that your original post asked for opinions and thoughts from other people that have been there, but it seems that the thread has deviated from that. Everyone has given you some great insight and advice.

 

I was there 2 years ago. I made some terrible decisions in my life and although I didn't realize it at the time, I was justifying my actions by making myself believe that my marriage was terrible. Before long, even the little things that my husband would do or say began to drive me crazy. "What has our attention has our affection, what has our affection has our heart." At this time, my husband did not have my attention.

 

I left to be with OM. I was really in a fog because I never thought my husband would file for divorce... wrong! Anyway, it took me an entire year with the OM to finally shake him and work on myself. After a few months of being alone and finding forgiveness in myself, I realized that I left a wonderful, amazing marriage.

 

The key for you right now, is to work on yourself right now... not necessarily your marriage. It sounds crazy, but you have to fix yourself before you can fix what you have with your husband.

 

You have made great strides by avoiding OM, this is good! Remember to celebrate the small steps, because as insignificant as they may seem, they're huge in your growth.

 

No, she even wants her marriage to be better, she needs to buckle down and get to it, while working on herself at the same time, but from her posts about how bad her husband was to how good OM made her feel, it seems she doesn't want to do neither. Doing half-azz attempts while still thinking about if you would've left to be with OM doesn't cut it, because sooner or later the husband is going to get fed up with it. Only so much disrespect a person can take.

Posted
No, she even wants her marriage to be better, she needs to buckle down and get to it, while working on herself at the same time, but from her posts about how bad her husband was to how good OM made her feel, it seems she doesn't want to do neither. Doing half-azz attempts while still thinking about if you would've left to be with OM doesn't cut it, because sooner or later the husband is going to get fed up with it. Only so much disrespect a person can take.

 

I totally agree. If Flowergirl is to reconcile with her husband, she cannot dwell on and mourn the loss of the OM. Yes, she has to deal with this but she has to do so in a way that allows her to focus more energy on her husband. This is why I think she needs to do IC.

 

Her husband can only take so much and he also needs to see where her priorities lie. If it continues to even appear to be the OM then he is more than entitled to walk.

Posted

Wow. This site is something else.

Posted
You never thought your husband would file for divorce ???

Really....What did you think your husband would do when he knew you were cheating? :laugh:... May be send his paycheck to OM's house.

 

I cant believe this.... but did you expect him to stay in the marriage like a loser ..while you were with OM.

And you sound like your husband divorcing you because you were with OM...was not fair...?????

 

It seems to me a cheater has a compelety different set of logic and values compared to a normal person.

 

- The cheater's and probably OM/OW's holy book says, A BS divorcing a cheater is a sin. :laugh:

 

That's a cheater's problem: They don't think before they act. It is sad that that it takes a divorce for a cheater to see what they did wrong. This is exactly why I say Flowergirl better quit the behavior she's doing now.

Posted
Wow. This site is something else.

 

Stick around for the fun dude.:laugh:

Posted

Okay I don't if what I'm going to say is breaking any rules or guidelines, but I think that WS's who are no longer in the affair and interested in recovering the marriage should head on over to "Surviving Infidelity". They have a board specifically for the WS, not the OW/OM or the BS. BS can post there by invite only and even then all posts must be respectful. From what I have seen the posters there DO NOT support the affair or anyones desire to continue the affair.They DO NOT bash or blame the BS. They will be tough but since they are all former WS they are also understanding and supportive.

 

I'm not defending cheaters and I personally hate cheating and infidelity, but I consider an affair to be somewhat of an addiction. Addictions I can understand. I have a nasty one called smoking. I have smoked for many years and when I try to quit I hope there will be some people around me who will be truly supportive when it gets hard. People who will let me talk about how it feels when it's difficult and who will cheer me on when I'm strong. I just try to picture how I would feel if I tried to tell someone that "hey I can't stop thinking about smoking, I know smoking is bad for me and my loved ones, but I miss it sometimes" and the person I said this to responding with "WELL WHY DONT YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF THEN!! JUST GET A GUN AND BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT RIGHT NOW. YOUR GONNA GET LUNG CANCER ANYWAYS SO KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW SO YOUR FAMILY CAN MOVE ON WITHOUT YOU". Haha...somehow that doesn't sound like it would be very helpful, to either me or my family. I would certainly feel chastised and humiliated but then I would be afraid to talk about it again, which would leave me feeling alone and helpless. I guess everyone is different but if I told someone I was missing my addiction, I would prefer some gentle encouragement to stay on course with my decision to stop.

Posted
Okay I don't if what I'm going to say is breaking any rules or guidelines, but I think that WS's who are no longer in the affair and interested in recovering the marriage should head on over to "Surviving Infidelity". They have a board specifically for the WS, not the OW/OM or the BS. BS can post there by invite only and even then all posts must be respectful. From what I have seen the posters there DO NOT support the affair or anyones desire to continue the affair.They DO NOT bash or blame the BS. They will be tough but since they are all former WS they are also understanding and supportive.

 

Oh please. That site holds nothing but people who cuddle the WSs and tell the BSs to stay in the marriage that is toxic. That WS forum is crowded with cheaters who post about how doormat their BSs are, and how they still think about their OM/OW and wonder why their marriages aren't getting better.

 

I'm not defending cheaters and I personally hate cheating and infidelity, but I consider an affair to be somewhat of an addiction. Addictions I can understand. I have a nasty one called smoking. I have smoked for many years and when I try to quit I hope there will be some people around me who will be truly supportive when it gets hard. People who will let me talk about how it feels when it's difficult and who will cheer me on when I'm strong. I just try to picture how I would feel if I tried to tell someone that "hey I can't stop thinking about smoking, I know smoking is bad for me and my loved ones, but I miss it sometimes" and the person I said this to responding with "WELL WHY DONT YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF THEN!! JUST GET A GUN AND BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT RIGHT NOW. YOUR GONNA GET LUNG CANCER ANYWAYS SO KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW SO YOUR FAMILY CAN MOVE ON WITHOUT YOU". Haha...somehow that doesn't sound like it would be very helpful, to either me or my family. I would certainly feel chastised and humiliated but then I would be afraid to talk about it again, which would leave me feeling alone and helpless. I guess everyone is different but if I told someone I was missing my addiction, I would prefer some gentle encouragement to stay on course with my decision to stop.

 

Say what you want but nothing excuses an affair. It's not an addiction, it's just plain selfishness and refusal to stop disrespecting their marriages. The WSs knows EXACTLY what they're doing.

Posted
You never thought your husband would file for divorce ???

Really....What did you think your husband would do when he knew you were cheating? :laugh:... May be send his paycheck to OM's house.

 

I cant believe this.... but did you expect him to stay in the marriage like a loser ..while you were with OM.

And you sound like your husband divorcing you because you were with OM...was not fair...?????

 

It seems to me a cheater has a compelety different set of logic and values compared to a normal person.

 

- The cheater's and probably OM/OW's holy book says, A BS divorcing a cheater is a sin. :laugh:

 

 

I honestly didn't get that from the post. I got that she didn't view her marriage the way it really was, left with the OM and regretted it. I don't think she was dogging her Ex at all. She seemed to be saying that the fog, fantasy whatever you want to call it made it difficult to see things clearly. I see her saying she made some bad choices and it cost her dearly.

Posted
I honestly didn't get that from the post. I got that she didn't view her marriage the way it really was, left with the OM and regretted it. I don't think she was dogging her Ex at all. She seemed to be saying that the fog, fantasy whatever you want to call it made it difficult to see things clearly. I see her saying she made some bad choices and it cost her dearly.

When I read.. that is how it meant to me. Hmm... but really...still I dont understand this fog thing which makes cheaters believe there is no way their partner's are gonna divorce them, even if they left them for OM/OW.

 

It makes me wonder when someone starts cheating if part of their brain stops functioning...Because this is simple so simple. How can someone miss this fact...You go away with OM, you hurt your H and he files for divorce.

 

Anyway I do wanna apologize if that's not what she meant...:)

×
×
  • Create New...