Author Vodka Posted March 5, 2011 Author Posted March 5, 2011 Just an update and question: Should I be a bit happy about this, or should I be a bit freaked out? Originally when we first started, he and I had talked a bit before about how I wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not and how he did but maybe he would not HAVE to have them. Tonite on the phone he tells me that he thinks I should know that he is pretty set on having kids. I asked him why he is telling me this and he says that he wanted me to know now so I can decide if I eventually might want kids, or if I don't and I move on. He said if we are together and decide to be together, he wants me to know kids are important to him and that I should be open to the idea. I told him (half jokingly) that if he wanted to end things with me he could just end them and not make something up he knew would be a deal breaker. He said no that wasn't it at all, but that if I am the one he chooses to spend his life with, he wanted to be honest with me. Should I be seeing this as a good sign of him thinking of something long term with me? Or should I be a little weirded out that we aren't 'technically' bf/gf yet and he is mentioning this?
folieadeux Posted March 5, 2011 Posted March 5, 2011 I don't get the whole back and forth here...to me, you two ARE together now, but only you would know for sure I suppose. At any rate, I think it's always a good thing when your SO includes you in your future plans. However, if he doesn't consider you his official G/F now, he has no right to be asking such a thing of you. I would clear up the status thing first and then go from there with the rest. With that being said, when the time comes, if he's dead set on having kids and you know now that you don't want them, then that's a real issue because there's no way you can compromise on such matters in a relationship and would have to re-evaluate your options in regards to being together. But again, the two of you need to decide what your committment is to each other first before talking about kids. That's jumping the gun. How old are both of you again? It's important to keep in mind that both of your opinions may change too as far as having kids goes.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted March 6, 2011 Posted March 6, 2011 I told him (half jokingly) that if he wanted to end things with me he could just end them and not make something up he knew would be a deal breaker. he's not making excuses to get rid of you. he wants to know if you would like to have kids before you get into a relationship because that's his deal breaker. for me, that's a smart thing to do than making a relationship work knowing that you two are different people. knowing what you want before tackling a relationship can save you heartaches and wasting a lot of time compromising.
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