She's really shy?

[Gwendolyn]

Actually, I kind of disagree with the majority of the posts here. Just because she likes to take pictures, will not mean that she likes to be on cam. I, personally, hate cam and avoid it as often as possible. My reasons are mostly technical but I also just feel stupid being on it. Which makes me feel as if I look as stupid as I feel. Although I do agree that she needs to go on at least once before you meet.

 

About the Ex, don't believe him either. I've known people online to post pictures of themselves on a site and their partner or ex is on the same site, come to find out that the photos aren't even of the girl. If there is still a relationship there and not hatred, he's likely to just not say anything.

[HeavenOrHell]

Well it looks like people can be outgoing but still find webcam awkward. I'm shy and I find it awkward at times. I was also wrong to say going on cam is pretty essential in an LDR as it clearly isn't the case for some

I don't think the OP's partner has anything to hide, I also don't think you can call it a relationship until you've met.

[madjac74]

HOH I love the way you think! And yes even confident people find situations awkward. And nothing is essential when you are crazy in love with someone. As much as i want to see her everyday, just hearing her voice sends chills thru me.

 

P.S. Go Cowboys!

[Els]

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt til Sunday comes, as long as she fulfills her part of the bargain.

[Grobyc]

Yeah, I know she's met one of our friends physically. I have not met him. There was a time when I was on the east coast and we were making plans to meet up, but NYC was out of the way and we ran out of time, So I never got up there.

 

But yeah she's met that friend, so like i said, if she wasn't who she said she was, I would know.

 

Sketchy though?, she went to school with close friends of mine. They knew her before I did, because they all went to the same school. That doesn't mean anything?

 

Also, yeah, the last guy and her never did meet, he had no job, no income sat on his ass and played videogames all day, no social life. So I doubt he even bothered to pester her about going on cam and such.

 

She wasn't too shy to go on cam with him, when he asked she said no. And he let it be, why, I'm not sure.

 

Also HOH: The only reason We've put a lable on it is because I've known her for a couple years, and its not like we're 800 miles apart she is like 3 hours south of me.

Edited November 19, 2010 by Grobyc

[HeavenOrHell]

It doesn't matter how long or far the distance, I still don't see how you can say you're in a relationship with someone you've not met, you could be 10 miles away and not met, so to me that still wouldn't be a relationship. No matter what anyone says IMO you can't be 100% sure you will click as partners until you meet.

How come you've not met if you've known her 2 years and you're only 3 hours apart? 3 hours apart is nothing compared to some people in LDR's.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I know she's met one of our friends physically. I have not met him. There was a time when I was on the east coast and we were making plans to meet up, but NYC was out of the way and we ran out of time, So I never got up there.

 

Sketchy though?, she went to school with close friends of mine. They knew her before I did, because they all went to the same school. That doesn't mean anything?

 

Also, yeah, the last guy and her never did meet, he had no job, no income sat on his ass and played videogames all day, no social life. So I doubt he even bothered to pester her about going on cam and such.

 

She wasn't too shy to go on cam with him, when he asked she said no. And he let it be, why, I'm not sure.

 

Also HOH: The only reason We've put a lable on it is because I've known her for a couple years, and its not like we're 800 miles apart she is like 3 hours south of me.

[Grobyc]

It doesn't matter how long or far the distance, I still don't see how you can say you're in a relationship with someone you've not met, you could be 10 miles away and not met, so to me that still wouldn't be a relationship. No matter what anyone says IMO you can't be 100% sure you will click as partners until you meet.

How come you've not met if you've known her 2 years and you're only 3 hours apart? 3 hours apart is nothing compared to some people in LDR's.

 

Why did we never meet? Simple. I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was 8. and because of my seizures I wasn't able to get my license until I was 18, which was after I was fired from my job, so then I had no money to go and do anything, plus you really think my parents would just let me drive 3 hours out of town right when I get my license . Yeah there's reasons I never went to visit.

 

I also agree, You're not sure if you'll click 100% But I suppose we'll find out next month if everything goes to plan.

[HeavenOrHell]

I hope you will click, good luck with everything

 

 

Why did we never meet? Simple. I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was 8. and because of my seizures I wasn't able to get my license until I was 18, which was after I was fired from my job, so then I had no money to go and do anything, plus you really think my parents would just let me drive 3 hours out of town right when I get my license . Yeah there's reasons I never went to visit.

 

I also agree, You're not sure if you'll click 100% But I suppose we'll find out next month if everything goes to plan.

[Gwendolyn]

Regardless of cam, I say go for it head first. If nothing else, you will be able to spend some quality time with someone that you already *know* you enjoy the personality of. It should prove to be an experience, and that's what life is all about, right?

[madjac74]

Why did we never meet? Simple. I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was 8. and because of my seizures I wasn't able to get my license until I was 18, which was after I was fired from my job, so then I had no money to go and do anything, plus you really think my parents would just let me drive 3 hours out of town right when I get my license . Yeah there's reasons I never went to visit.

 

I also agree, You're not sure if you'll click 100% But I suppose we'll find out next month if everything goes to plan.

 

I assume she knew about your situation. Why didnt she come visit you? It would drive me crazy to be so close to someone I really liked and to not meet them. I know because I've been in the same situation with someone who was 10 minutes away.

[Grobyc]

I assume she knew about your situation. Why didnt she come visit you? It would drive me crazy to be so close to someone I really liked and to not meet them. I know because I've been in the same situation with someone who was 10 minutes away.

 

Well, back then, I guess we weren't as close. We were just friends that met through another friend. We didn't really think much of it.

 

Plus I had a couple relationships in that period that fell through. PLUS, I was super anti-social. Once I came back from the east coast last january, that all changed for certain reasons.

 

I guess what it really boils down to is we weren't as close as we were this past year. Compared to when we first started talking.

 

I also don't ask of people to spend money on me. No matter what it is, or the occasion.

 

It's very rare that I ask money from people, or ask them to do things that require spending money on my account.

 

I've actually been asking money from my parents since of the financial situation I'm in at the present moment. Something I'm not proud of doing, and I appreciate it that they help me out.

Edited November 19, 2010 by Grobyc

[hoping2heal]

Well, back then, I guess we weren't as close. We were just friends that met through another friend. We didn't really think much of it.

 

Plus I had a couple relationships in that period that fell through. PLUS, I was super anti-social. Once I came back from the east coast last january, that all changed for certain reasons.

 

I guess what it really boils down to is we weren't as close as we were this past year. Compared to when we first started talking.

 

I also don't ask of people to spend money on me. No matter what it is, or the occasion.

 

It's very rare that I ask money from people, or ask them to do things that require spending money on my account.

 

I've actually been asking money from my parents since of the financial situation I'm in at the present moment. Something I'm not proud of doing, and I appreciate it that they help me out.

 

Well, so am I understanding correctly that the only other person who "knows her physically" is someone you have never met? Have you at least seen THIS person on cam?

 

I mean, I don't know. Something just seems off, maybe it is not. It just seems that way for now. The good thing is the weekend is here, she said she would go on cam for you this weekend, which is an entirely reasonable expectation to have on your end, let's see if she keeps her promise or if some excuse pops up.

 

If she makes good on her word, then all is well and settled. If she does not, she is just continuing to make herself seem sketchy, incapable of keeping an honest word, and like a child who cannot make "big girl decisions" for herself and thus probably not a great idea to pursue a relationship with, anyhow.

 

Again, we'll just see.

[Grobyc]

Well, so am I understanding correctly that the only other person who "knows her physically" is someone you have never met? Have you at least seen THIS person on cam?

 

I mean, I don't know. Something just seems off, maybe it is not. It just seems that way for now. The good thing is the weekend is here, she said she would go on cam for you this weekend, which is an entirely reasonable expectation to have on your end, let's see if she keeps her promise or if some excuse pops up.

 

If she makes good on her word, then all is well and settled. If she does not, she is just continuing to make herself seem sketchy, incapable of keeping an honest word, and like a child who cannot make "big girl decisions" for herself and thus probably not a great idea to pursue a relationship with, anyhow.

 

Again, we'll just see.

 

Lets see. I talked to a friend of hers, her ex's cousin when we had our big skype conversations, like real voices. I still talk to him from time to time, But he knew her. I'm just going to say H2H, you seem very untrusting. I don't have to see those other people, because ALL of us have IM'd each other in group chats at the same time.

 

I'm not sure what seems SO damn sketchy. She doesn't want to cam, yeah sure. I get that, But calling it off basing it on that is silly. because she went to the same damn online high school as several of my close REAL LIFE friends. Not to mention I talked to one who she used to live next to voice to voice, via our big skype chats.

 

I know for a fact she met the one in NYC because even he mentioned it, and was willing to meet up with me. The only reason we didn't is because it was out of the way and I ran out of time and had to get home.

 

I will see her on cam before I see her in my area. But just calling it quits when it's clear she is who she says she is. Like today im impaitient, i had her send me a picture from her cell today. I asked a few times, easy.

 

I think its totally silly that you would have be call it quits because of one thing. Yeah I get it, it's kinda important. I've done my homework though

 

I get the idea you think she's not who she says she is. I've heard her voice, over skype a couple times, it matches up with her youtube videos.

 

I wouldn't just say "Oops too sketchy you won't cam, you must be hiding something" I'd work it out. Because believe me, if she's not who she says she is, I would know from more then one person. Out of everyone that i know that knows her, the only one who I don't talk to is her ex, because he blocked me.

 

So there. I don't think she has anything to hide. Because everything matches up, the only thing that falls short is her avoiding to cam.

 

Note: The two people that know her physically, I know their background what they do. It's like if you haven't met them trust is non-existent<-- That's totally untrue. Behind the handles and names and computer screens are real people capable of showing real emotions.

 

I've noticed she doesn't think she's real pretty. Which is the absolute opposite. That could be why she doesn't want to go on cam, insecure about her looks. We will see come sunday.

 

As an added bonus, She wants to hear me play guitar so if she goes on cam, I said I'd play for her. So that's our agreement.

Edited November 20, 2010 by Grobyc

[Rollercoasterr]

Wow...I just now took the time to actually read this thread and I agree with H2H, something is definitely fishy.

 

Now just because something is fishy doesn't necessarily mean that it's because she's not who she says she is(although as long as I've been here I've seen MULTIPLE stories just like this one where the girl/guy wasn't who they said they were), but maybe she's got a flaw she's trying to hide. Weight gain, maybe? Skin issues? Girls are sensitive, and we don't want ourselves to to be shown in a bad light.

 

But regardless of all that, if you're dating then you're supposed to mean something to her. If you've been wanting to cam and she's just not doing it then she obviously doesn't care enough to sacrifice her own personal comfort for 1-3 minutes to just show you her face. I mean, really? She's so so so shy that she can't flip the cam on and then back off? Oh please. I don't buy any of that, especially when there are youtube videos. Those don't go away. Unless someone takes them off they are on the internet FOREVER(or until Youtube crashes). If you're shy enough that you don't want your boyfriend to see you for a split second, yet you're comfortable with having yourself plastered on youtube for an indefinite amount of time then there's a reason other than shyness going on.

 

Sorry darlin', I know that you're going to be all like "she's who she says she is" and blah blah blah, but things don't add up, even with the mutual people you two seem to know. There's no way on this planet that someone can be okay with having a video recorded and posted of you and not okay with being on webcam for a very short amount of time to please the one you're supposed to care about the most. No way.

 

Halibut, anyone?

[Grobyc]

Wow...I just now took the time to actually read this thread and I agree with H2H, something is definitely fishy.

 

Now just because something is fishy doesn't necessarily mean that it's because she's not who she says she is(although as long as I've been here I've seen MULTIPLE stories just like this one where the girl/guy wasn't who they said they were), but maybe she's got a flaw she's trying to hide. Weight gain, maybe? Skin issues? Girls are sensitive, and we don't want ourselves to to be shown in a bad light.

 

But regardless of all that, if you're dating then you're supposed to mean something to her. If you've been wanting to cam and she's just not doing it then she obviously doesn't care enough to sacrifice her own personal comfort for 1-3 minutes to just show you her face. I mean, really? She's so so so shy that she can't flip the cam on and then back off? Oh please. I don't buy any of that, especially when there are youtube videos. Those don't go away. Unless someone takes them off they are on the internet FOREVER(or until Youtube crashes). If you're shy enough that you don't want your boyfriend to see you for a split second, yet you're comfortable with having yourself plastered on youtube for an indefinite amount of time then there's a reason other than shyness going on.

 

Sorry darlin', I know that you're going to be all like "she's who she says she is" and blah blah blah, but things don't add up, even with the mutual people you two seem to know. There's no way on this planet that someone can be okay with having a video recorded and posted of you and not okay with being on webcam for a very short amount of time to please the one you're supposed to care about the most. No way.

 

Halibut, anyone?

 

There is most definitely a chance that she isn't the said person.

 

I mean, the mutal friends, I've heard her voice and matches up with her vids and such. I'm actually confronting this very topic with her as I type this.

 

Bolded: I completely agree. That's why it bothers me so much. It makes me insecure. I'm not an insecure type of person either. I just want an assurance you know?

 

But everything else checks out.

 

We will see come sunday.

[hoping2heal]

Lets see. I talked to a friend of hers, her ex's cousin when we had our big skype conversations, like real voices. I still talk to him from time to time, But he knew her. I'm just going to say H2H, you seem very untrusting. I don't have to see those other people, because ALL of us have IM'd each other in group chats at the same time.

 

I'm not sure what seems SO damn sketchy. She doesn't want to cam, yeah sure. I get that, But calling it off basing it on that is silly. because she went to the same damn online high school as several of my close REAL LIFE friends. Not to mention I talked to one who she used to live next to voice to voice, via our big skype chats.

 

I know for a fact she met the one in NYC because even he mentioned it, and was willing to meet up with me. The only reason we didn't is because it was out of the way and I ran out of time and had to get home.

 

I will see her on cam before I see her in my area. But just calling it quits when it's clear she is who she says she is. Like today im impaitient, i had her send me a picture from her cell today. I asked a few times, easy.

 

I think its totally silly that you would have be call it quits because of one thing. Yeah I get it, it's kinda important. I've done my homework though

 

I get the idea you think she's not who she says she is. I've heard her voice, over skype a couple times, it matches up with her youtube videos.

 

I wouldn't just say "Oops too sketchy you won't cam, you must be hiding something" I'd work it out. Because believe me, if she's not who she says she is, I would know from more then one person. Out of everyone that i know that knows her, the only one who I don't talk to is her ex, because he blocked me.

 

So there. I don't think she has anything to hide. Because everything matches up, the only thing that falls short is her avoiding to cam.

 

Note: The two people that know her physically, I know their background what they do. It's like if you haven't met them trust is non-existent<-- That's totally untrue. Behind the handles and names and computer screens are real people capable of showing real emotions.

 

I've noticed she doesn't think she's real pretty. Which is the absolute opposite. That could be why she doesn't want to go on cam, insecure about her looks. We will see come sunday.

 

As an added bonus, She wants to hear me play guitar so if she goes on cam, I said I'd play for her. So that's our agreement.

 

Hi there,

 

as I have said before - this is your situation and you need to make the decision you are okay with. You don't need to agree with me. I do not see how it is wise to invest emotion into a person who will not even let themselves be seen one time on a webcam but again, that is entirely your call. I just think it would lead to more hurt that is all. I may seem untrusting, but all of the contradictions set my alarm bells off. If she does not think she is pretty, why is she okay with plastering pics all over facebook? You see? it's these odd little things which make no sense that make me wonder what is really going on.

 

And again, youtube videos? So, she will put up youtube videos for every and any person to see..but she is too shy to go on cam for you? I mean this really just does not add up.

 

I agree with RC that maybe the person you saw was her, but the pics are older and as RC said there is now something else like weight gain or another issue which she wants to keep hidden. A girl I knew a few years ago had a myspace with pics of her about 100 pounds lighter. When the guy she met online showed up, she had told him she was put on a pill that made her gain the weight rapidly, when that was not the truth at all. It was an awkward situation to be in, because the guy would talk to me about it, and I really didn't know what was going on until he said something to me about it. like RC says - we have seen our fair share of these stories by now, and I have known people who have been on both ends of it.

 

Again, I certainly hope she comes on the cam this weekend and this issue is put to rest for you.

Edited November 20, 2010 by hoping2heal

[Grobyc]

Hi there,

 

as I have said before - this is your situation and you need to make the decision you are okay with. You don't need to agree with me. I do not see how it is wise to invest emotion into a person who will not even let themselves be seen one time on a webcam but again, that is entirely your call. I just think it would lead to more hurt that is all. I may seem untrusting, but all of the contradictions set my alarm bells off. If she does not think she is pretty, why is she okay with plastering pics all over facebook? You see? it's these odd little things which make no sense that make me wonder what is really going on.

 

And again, youtube videos? So, she will put up youtube videos for every and any person to see..but she is too shy to go on cam for you? I mean this really just does not add up.

 

I agree with RC that maybe the person you saw was her, but the pics are older and as RC said there is now something else like weight gain or another issue which she wants to keep hidden. A girl I knew a few years ago had a myspace with pics of her about 100 pounds lighter. When the guy she met online showed up, she had told him she was put on a pill that made her gain the weight rapidly, when that was not the truth at all. It was an awkward situation to be in, because the guy would talk to me about it, and I really didn't know what was going on until he said something to me about it. like RC says - we have seen our fair share of these stories by now, and I have known people who have been on both ends of it.

 

Again, I certainly hope she comes on the cam this weekend and this issue is put to rest for you.

 

 

I'm only assuming she thinks she thinks she's not pretty she said her self, she doesnt know why she wont skype with me when she skypes with other people so it shouldn't be such a big deal for her.

 

So I'm sitting on the idea she gets it now. I reallyy put it out there that it really bothered

 

I understand all the little things you see. I also understand how it could look sketchy but Im hoping she understood the seriousness, seemed like she did.

 

The videos and stuff, I'm not investing any more emotion, im just playing it out until sunday really. But the videos where she talks match up to the occasions which they are placed at, but anyways.

 

We'll see though.

Edited November 20, 2010 by Grobyc

[hoping2heal]

I'm only assuming she thinks she thinks she's not pretty she said her self, she doesnt know why she wont skype with me when she skypes with other people so it shouldn't be such a big deal for her.

 

So I'm sitting on the idea she gets it now. I reallyy put it out there that it really bothered

 

I understand all the little things you see. I also understand how it could look sketchy but Im hoping she understood the seriousness, seemed like she did.

 

The videos and stuff, I'm not investing any more emotion, im just playing it out until sunday really. But the videos where she talks match up to the occasions which they are placed at, but anyways.

 

We'll see though.

 

I am glad you made yourself clear and made it known how bothersome this is for you. I'm also glad to hear you are reserving further emotional investment pending her coming on cam. I think that is smart until you know and can verify this person and everything they have told you about themselves to be truthful. Sunday will be here soon and I hope you get your answer. It sounds like she skypes with other people, so yes - there is no reason she can't or shouldn't skype with you. Afterall, you are supposed to be the bigger priority than them.

[Grobyc]

I am glad you made yourself clear and made it known how bothersome this is for you. I'm also glad to hear you are reserving further emotional investment pending her coming on cam. I think that is smart until you know and can verify this person and everything they have told you about themselves to be truthful. Sunday will be here soon and I hope you get your answer. It sounds like she skypes with other people, so yes - there is no reason she can't or shouldn't skype with you. Afterall, you are supposed to be the bigger priority than them.

 

Bolded: Yeah, when we were talking she said she skypes with other people no problem, and doesn't know why she didn't want to with me, and it shouldn't even a big deal since she skypes with other people, is what she said.

 

So I'll find out tomorrow.

Edited November 20, 2010 by Grobyc

[HeavenOrHell]

She might be shyer skyping with you cos she fancies you

[Els]

So how did it go, OP?

[Grobyc]

So how did it go, OP?

 

She said around 6:30pm, as she usually has things to do during the day. She gets home around then on sundays. It's only 11am.

 

We have always skyped in the evening she's either doing things with her parents, or over at her sisters, or she goes to the Y for a couple hours.

 

I'll post back later in the evening

[aerogurl87]

Good luck Grobyc, I wanna know what happens as well.

[Zale]

Also lurking with interest. Good luck man!

[folieadeux]

Hoping your lack of posting means you're on cam together right now.