Star Gazer Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You keep making these "tentative, indefinite plans" and then analyzing whether any level of disrespect exists when those tentative, indefinite plans (or in today's case, NO plans) don't come to fruition. Telling her to call you if she's available is just NOT the same as calling her and making a specific date for a specific day, time and activity, and having her flake on those plans. Let this weekend with her BFF pass, and call her early next week. Do not call/text in the interim.
Author welikeincrowds Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 You keep making these "tentative, indefinite plans" Argh ****. I don't mean to! That's just how it has been happening for some reason. Lesson learned, I will no longer make room for "tentative" or "indefinite," no matter what the situation. And I'll call her AGAIN next week. You're the best, dude. I don't see how anyone *AHEM*SP*AHEM* could have beef.
Star Gazer Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Argh ****. I don't mean to! That's just how it has been happening for some reason. Lesson learned, I will no longer make room for "tentative" or "indefinite," no matter what the situation. And I'll call her AGAIN next week. And I'm SURE she'll respond just as favorably - all giggly and sh*t. Just make sure you nail down an actual date! None of this "let's see/play by ear/maybe" business. Make it happen! You're the best, dude. I don't see how anyone *AHEM*SP*AHEM* could have beef. Aww, thanks! Yeah...she makes everything personal when I'm just telling it like it is.
JungleLover Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 You put yourself in that dreaded position of waiting for the call. That is never fun. I usually avoid that by making the date later in the week if there is conflict while I am trying to set one up for earlier. A date set up in advance up to one week is very reasonable and viable. I would have just moved beyond this weekend and just set it up for next week at that time. When you are just getting in with a girl and she is fairly new, I would avoid setting up weekend dates and calls because they are harder to get at that point. Girls tend to save their weekends for hanging out with close friends and a men who are higher priority. The more time nothing happens or gets set up with the dates, the easier it becomes for her to flake on you the next time. I wouldn't call her if she didn't call me tonight. If she was interested in getting with you then there would be no misunderstanding about if she should call or not tonight. You wouldn't be completely out of order calling her again if she doesn't call you tonight but I think you will be calling her with the fat lady singing in the background. Over all I think you are showing a good attitude with this.
Author welikeincrowds Posted November 6, 2010 Author Posted November 6, 2010 She just texted me, just as I was out the door, apologizing for not calling me, and also saying that her bff is spending the weekend. What do you think? Write back or ignore? I'm leaning toward ignore. (I realize it doesn't really matter.)
JungleLover Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 She just texted me, just as I was out the door, apologizing for not calling me, and also saying that her bff is spending the weekend. What do you think? Write back or ignore? I'm leaning toward ignore. (I realize it doesn't really matter.) Ignore it. Don't contact her any more unless she contacts you. Time to move on. At least you can rest easier now. She could have kept her word and just as easy have called you but she took the flakey route and decided not to face you on the phone but instead shoot the flakey text to you.
northern_sky Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 She just texted me, just as I was out the door, apologizing for not calling me, and also saying that her bff is spending the weekend. What do you think? Write back or ignore? I'm leaning toward ignore. (I realize it doesn't really matter.) Ignore and call her again this week. I hope you did. You're being way too passive.
Left in a Lurch Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 If she had any respect for you she would have called. I would bet she makes 10 calls a day to people, the only one she won't call is you. Busy has nothing to do with it. Look at it like this, if she won tickets to a movie on Wednesday night, she would find a friend and go (and it wouldn't be you but you'd get a text about it). For you she can't seem to keep one night open in 2 weeks. You rate less than movie tickets. If she was slightly interested she would have asked you to hang out with her and her friend on the weekend at some point just so she could see you. She would jump through hoops to see you. She would call you when you asked her to. I'd move on. If she texts you again, tell her the relationship with her phone just isn't working out.
waynebrady Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Ignore and call her again this week. I hope you did. You're being way too passive. He is being passive? Give me a break. I took this from the first post. "I've been the one to call, plan dates, etc., which is 100% fine. She'll initiate with texts, and she'll call me back, etc. but she never makes a point to call." SHE is the one being passive. He is the only one who put in any effort and pretty much initiated everything. Why should he always be the one to call? Despite her flakyness?
Recommended Posts