northern_sky Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 If you've been following my threads, I've been dating J non exclusively for about a month, though we were acquaintances in our group of friends for a couple of months before that. But we haven't seen each other for about 2 or 3 weeks, I can't remember, because I had cut him off and then decided to keep seeing him. i wanted an exclusive relationship; he wasn't ready. So the final compromise we reached was to keep seeing each other without sex. That leaves the door open for kissing, but we haven't really defined the terms. I'm kind of half-hearted about it at this point, but I reallly enjoy his company, our chemistry is amazing, and he's the only person in my city I've clicked with at all, so I figure eh, why not. Anyway, he asked me to go out with him this coming Wednesday, and then sent me a reminder today: Heya XXXXXX, So, are we still on for Wednesday? I have to admit I'm so frazzled from all the travel lately that I haven't thought of anything very fun to do. --------- is playing at ------------- and I'm always hoping to see someone use -----------'s talents properly, but the results are also continuously disappointing, so even I'm only half sold on wanting to see this one. Do you know anything fun going on in town that night? -XXXX I always get irritated when guys put the onus on me to make plans, since it seems incredibly lazy. Also, I'm kind of clueless about what an appropriate date would look like at this point given the nature of our "relationship." Our city is pretty small and boring, so there aren't many options. I expect our date will probably end at one of our places making out and falling asleep together without getting naked. That's what I want. What do you guys think in terms of date ideas?
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 What do you guys think in terms of date ideas? I think contrary to what you WANT, you should avoid having him come to your place or you going to his. Otherwise you will do a lot more than just "makeout and fall asleep without getting naked."
sanskrit Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 How big is your town? Most have an internet page devoted to local goings on. I don't like early loud band dates because of the noise myself, and save those for when a BF/GF relationship is in place. Since this guy is not interested in dating you exclusively, would kind of lay back and ignore his attempts to put the burden on you for planning. Just respond "yep we are still on," and ignore the other part.
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 How big is your town? Most have an internet page devoted to local goings on. I don't like early loud band dates because of the noise myself, and save those for when a BF/GF relationship is in place. Since this guy is not interested in dating you exclusively, would kind of lay back and ignore his attempts to put the burden on you for planning. Just respond "yep we are still on," and ignore the other part. I think he was referring to seeing a movie, not a band. OP tends to go on a lot of movie dates; she's very into filmmaking and whatnot.
sanskrit Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I think he was referring to seeing a movie, not a band. OP tends to go on a lot of movie dates; she's very into filmmaking and whatnot. In that case, OP avoid more. Enjoy movies with friends, they don't make the best dates unless followed up with some pie and you were paid to go on them... and are Patricia Arquette and he is Christian Slater. If you are the above perchance, don't let him go kill your pimp so fast as that was one of Gary Oldman's best roles. Let him live for awhile longer in this go-round please.
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 In that case, OP avoid more. Enjoy movies with friends, they don't make the best dates unless followed up with some pie and you were paid to go on them... and are Patricia Arquette and he is Christian Slater. Why should she avoid movie dates (assuming this is a "date" - not clear if there is romantic intention there)? Movies are something she's very, very interested in...and I'm assuming J is too. I'm sure they spend time afterward picking each other's brain about them too. Normally I'd avoid movie dates at the very beginning, but it's not like this is their first few dates.
Author northern_sky Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 I'm so ambivalent about seeing him. Half of me wants to write back to his messages with something incredibly dismissive like, "LAME." The other half is like whatever, why not, it will probably be fun.
welikeincrowds Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Why should she avoid movie dates (assuming this is a "date" - not clear if there is romantic intention there)? Movies are something she's very, very interested in...and I'm assuming J is too. I'm sure they spend time afterward picking each other's brain about them too. Normally I'd avoid movie dates at the very beginning, but it's not like this is their first few dates. Agreed 100%. A good movie date is so much fun if you're into film. Careful though. According to sanskrit modern cinema is destroying masculinity. Your date might get mad at society and leave you halfway through the movie.
Star Gazer Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 I'm so ambivalent about seeing him. Half of me wants to write back to his messages with something incredibly dismissive like, "LAME." That literally made me laugh out loud. I've soooo been there. I've literally read an email or a text and said outloud: "LAME!" and immediately snapped my laptop shut/cleared my phone screen. And then I sat there with furrowed brow and pursed lips, just...irritated. And I lost that "thing" for him. Dude, man up and make a plan! Each time I wished I'd followed my own damn reaction. Instead, I went with it...usually because the activity we ultimately did was fun, but not because I was enjoying his company any longer.
sanskrit Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Blabla -other thread reference ignore- blabla. If OP hopes to have a spark arise (but it seems like she could care less at this point), and to get this guy to the table, she needs to get some physical motion involved in the dates. Despite that there can be some handholding and kissing in a movie, pheromones don't travel well during passive activities. Things happen when people are moving around, when they get to see each other in motion and interacting with the environment. A walk by a river or in a park is better than sitting in movie seats. I have seen more films than most, and love them too, but never take dates to them until we are BF/GF. Just one opinion.
sanskrit Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Dave & Busters. As much as I hate that place, it has actually been a good date venue for reasons previously mentioned. Lots of good, attraction-building things result from friendly competition over a skittle game or throwing basketballs through a hoop.
Star Gazer Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 If OP hopes to have a spark arise (but it seems like she could care less at this point), and to get this guy to the table, she needs to get some physical motion involved in the dates. Despite that there can be some handholding and kissing in a movie, pheromones don't travel well during passive activities. Things happen when people are moving around, when they get to see each other in motion and interacting with the environment. A walk by a river or in a park is better than sitting in movie seats. I have seen more films than most, and love them too, but never take dates to them until we are BF/GF. Just one opinion. Fair enough. Other than D&B or walking in the park (keeping in mind upcoming really cold weather), what other options would you suggest? That is the subject of the thread, after all.
sanskrit Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Check the local website. Without knowing more about OP's area, that's all I can say.
tigressA Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 If you can find a playground with stuff like swings and monkey bars, that would be fun. You can take turns pushing each other. I did this on the first date with my first boyfriend and it was a total blast. We ended up talking for quite awhile, trading stories about our respective childhoods and such.
sb129 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I I always get irritated when guys put the onus on me to make plans, since it seems incredibly lazy. Shouldn't you get to decide what to do at least some of the time?
Author northern_sky Posted November 2, 2010 Author Posted November 2, 2010 what is the local website? what's a good site for events in a city? I can't find anything.
Star Gazer Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 what is the local website? what's a good site for events in a city? I can't find anything. Have you tried Yelp?
sanskrit Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Google the name of your town together with "events" and "community." You should find it.
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