Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 There is not one iota of human reasoning why a person is NOT allowed to express emotions in the work place. Its one forth of the total package of a persons entire entity. I think being fake in *covering* up ones true self in the workplace is the two faced thing that LB is trying to avoid. I appreciate her genuine honesty on her actions and her expression of. I am not saying a cry baby or a yeller but someone who can express even the tender side doesnt make them a wimp...it makes them human. Just because her career is in therepy doesnt mean she has the ALL KNOWING answers to lifes' challenges..we are each a work in progress.... LB....reality is...in the professional world we have to place a front on ourselves and keep things in check....90% of the time at my workplace the co workers and management have to place that FALSE two faced facade on and deal with matters. None of us are really being our true self, because if we did, well the world would just be a better place to work and live...and heavens forbid if folks saw our true self...they would actually find us as fallable... Yeah, actually the last time she did this (about a month or so ago, right before I got married) she treated me terribly and I was very hurt. My supervisor was standing there when she said these mean things to me and I ran to my office because I was so upset. My supervisor came to my office to talk to me because she knew I was upset. She said that if someone had talked to her that way she would be feeling the same way. So she arrange a chat with the two of us and I told my coworker exactly what my feelings were, that I didn't like to be spoken to that way and I can be very sensitive when I am treated in that manner. My coworker said she had "no idea" that I felt this way (personally I think that's b.s. though) and she apologized and hugged me. She was really nice about it. She hasn't really said anything (I have tried to avoid talking to her in length) until the other day when she yelled at me and was mean again. I didn't tell my supervisor about this, I decided that if it continues to happen then I will go to her but in the meantime I have to work with her. I think there is a misconception that therapists have to have it "all together" and have perfect control over their lives..almost like we aren't supposed to have problems because we should know better. Personally I think that's very unrealistic as nobody is perfect, not even counselors. I think the best example I can set for my patients is to express themselves and not hold their feelings in. The reason that they use drugs/alcohol is because they have trouble expressing their fears/anxiety/pain/emotions. I think anyone who spent a day doing my job would be bursting in tears from the stress of it all. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 How come your supervisor just stood and watched? Has she any authority over her co-worker? If so, she should have stepped in and stopped it from escalating further. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 How come your supervisor just stood and watched? Has she any authority over her co-worker? If so, she should have stepped in and stopped it from escalating further. That's a good question, I don't know. Maybe she didn't want to further esclate it? The problem is that my coworker gets no consequences for her actions. She doesn't do her work either, tries to pawn it off on me and other therapists. She gets "talked to" about it but nothing really happens. Her behavior will not change until she gets some consequences for her actions and apparently that hasn't happened yet. She's pretty much just getting away with whatever behavior she wants to do. Not that I wish she would get fired, but I do wish she would get some kind of discinplinary action for her behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
BklynGuy Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Reading some of the stories posted on LS is great therapy. It really shows how our life experiences are not at all unique. I am so grateful to know that I am not the only person that has had tremendous difficulty while in the workplace, and how terrible some people are to work with. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackLovely Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Yeah, actually the last time she did this (about a month or so ago, right before I got married) she treated me terribly and I was very hurt. My supervisor was standing there when she said these mean things to me and I ran to my office because I was so upset. My supervisor came to my office to talk to me because she knew I was upset. She said that if someone had talked to her that way she would be feeling the same way. So she arrange a chat with the two of us and I told my coworker exactly what my feelings were, that I didn't like to be spoken to that way and I can be very sensitive when I am treated in that manner. My coworker said she had "no idea" that I felt this way (personally I think that's b.s. though) and she apologized and hugged me. She was really nice about it. She hasn't really said anything (I have tried to avoid talking to her in length) until the other day when she yelled at me and was mean again. I didn't tell my supervisor about this, I decided that if it continues to happen then I will go to her but in the meantime I have to work with her. I think there is a misconception that therapists have to have it "all together" and have perfect control over their lives..almost like we aren't supposed to have problems because we should know better. Personally I think that's very unrealistic as nobody is perfect, not even counselors. I think the best example I can set for my patients is to express themselves and not hold their feelings in. The reason that they use drugs/alcohol is because they have trouble expressing their fears/anxiety/pain/emotions. I think anyone who spent a day doing my job would be bursting in tears from the stress of it all. LaurieBell, I'm an emotional and sensitive woman too. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve at work, until I kept getting fired or reprimanded for it. Regardless of what you do for a living, crying and running to your office is unacceptable in the workplace. Such behavior is always perceived as weak and immature, no matter how justified it is. You have my sympathy, but if you keep letting everything bring you to tears, your co workers will not respect you. Since my field is customer service, I have had to develop a thick skin. I am insulted and verbally abused on a regular basis by irate customers. In five years, I have not shed one single tear. It's an office, not my kvetching sessions over wine with friends. Link to post Share on other sites
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