amythan Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Hi - In short i have a long distance casual relationship and i want to finish it but in good terms, keeping the friendship bit. We talked, liked each other, went out, slept together, traveled to meet everywhere ... during months. I just want out. I have feelings for him and I am feeling like a hooker. I was planning to say nothing. Continue to talk to him normally, replying his texts, chats BUT not responding to his comments like the one he sent yesterday: i like you more in a bedroom rather than in a kitchen. And i was not planning to inform him i am not sleeping with him again. Should i be more explicit ? Is this rude ? Thanks for your comments.
Fire Salamander Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Hi - In short i have a long distance casual relationship and i want to finish it but in good terms, keeping the friendship bit. We talked, liked each other, went out, slept together, traveled to meet everywhere ... during months. I just want out. I have feelings for him and I am feeling like a hooker. I was planning to say nothing. Continue to talk to him normally, replying his texts, chats BUT not responding to his comments like the one he sent yesterday: i like you more in a bedroom rather than in a kitchen. And i was not planning to inform him i am not sleeping with him again. Should i be more explicit ? Is this rude ? Thanks for your comments. You tell him you're not interested anymore, and you want to move on. You want to keep him as a friend? If he's stupid enough to be used then I say go ahead. Use him emotionally. However.. there's a difference between being mean (which is straight up telling someone I don't like you anymore) and being cruel (remaining friends). Either way it doesn't matter. Do what you feel.
Author amythan Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 I know him for four years we got closer last january and yes, i would like to remain friends. I DO have feelings for him and i cannot do this anymore. I do not want to be mean or cruel, just protect myself and disclose my feelings will make me feel like a fool. I just want things back as they used to be when we were just friends.
atlnay Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I know him for four years we got closer last january and yes, i would like to remain friends. I DO have feelings for him and i cannot do this anymore. I do not want to be mean or cruel, just protect myself and disclose my feelings will make me feel like a fool. OP, sounds like you guys were Friends turned FWB and you developed feelings and his hasn't changed or he doesn't want more? Is that about right? I just want things back as they used to be when we were just friends. That's going to be hard unless you are direct because... I was planning to say nothing. Continue to talk to him normally, replying his texts, chats BUT not responding to his comments like the one he sent yesterday: i like you more in a bedroom rather than in a kitchen. And i was not planning to inform him i am not sleeping with him again. Should i be more explicit ? Is this rude ? He is going to keep making suggestive comments as he usually did because from his POV, nothing has changed and you've always replied a certain way. and you are going to get annoyed that he keeps texting you that stuff and doesn't get the hint already and why does he just want sex, etc, etc. You will not be able to be the platonic friends once you were. If you truly want to keep his friendship, you need to be honest and tell him your feelings have changed and you can no longer be intimate with him.
Author amythan Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) I see your point. I was hoping him to get the hint and gradually back to normal. Maybe he will get annoyed if i ignored his comments but as we are not in the same country i can avoid him very easily. This could bother him though as he says things like: i will go wherever you want to see you. We were friends and we liked each other way more than friends. We looked for each other but this cannot work. At the beginning he seemed really interested, now his comments are more sexual than other and yes, at this point they bother me. It seems like he is trying to make clear that this is just about sex, and this was not what it used to. He treated me as if i was special now i just feeling like a whore. I knew this was casual and my feelings broke the unspoken rules. Edited October 9, 2010 by amythan
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