Hurt-one Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) Been with g/f now for 2 half months.At first she played games..i knew she fancied me..but wouldnt let me date her! When i got fed up and said i give up ..she admitted that she really fancied me and just wanted sexual relationship and didnt want to get into a relationship. Found out she had been treated badly in the past..either being beaten,catching ex cheating or being totally made to feel unwanted! She also has 4 kids by 3 differant fellers! So we started sleeping together and it was obvious from the start it was more than just sex..after 2 months she said she loved me! For the next week it was bliss then all of a sudden hot and cold. An arguement ensued in which she said that it was to intense and that the fun was dissapearing and she also accused me of being insecure and rushing things .ie she said if i told u i loved u 3 times..you would worry why i hadnt said it 4 times..lol! She has a point i do tend to rush but my last relationship ended with her cheating..so im bound to be a little insecure,something she doesnt really appreciate as another point that gets me is she uses facebook to get attention from other fellers! Im not saying shes cheating ..she just likes the attention..but she also covers her tracks by deleting comments from her wall to mine or other peoples!! Anyway were back together after we said we would slow down and do the dating thing and give each other space...so iv not been as intense and acting cooler (something which seems to make her keener) and weve already made a date for tomorrow,seeing each other at a dance class midweek and then she wants to stay at mine friday and come away saturday with me....i just dont know where i am!!!!!...HELP!!! but i would like it to work as we share the same sense of humour and activitys..particularly dancing which iv taught her and is one of the main attractions she feels for me! feel that with hiding things on facebook she may also be keeping her options open...but she does a very convincing 'I love you' although i dont suppose i will hear that for a while! My question really is ..how do i play this now...is there hope! Edited October 9, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TaraMaiden Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I wouldn't touch this one with a barge-pole. She sounds like the type qho wants to control everything that goes on in a relationship (And given her history, it's understandable - she's of a mind that she will no longer be the push-over, ever again) so she's turning the tables on the next good guy (that's you) who comes along. She's keeping her options open in case you either burn out, or abandon this, by eeping the flirt going with other guys, but she still yanks the line to jerk you back to attention, and keep you playing on the hook..... She's telling you how to behave. These demands will get more intense, as she exerts control to dominate the relationship according to how she wants it to go. This is her way of keeping control. She needs counselling. You need to back off.....
Author Hurt-one Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 Thanks Taramaiden!..Your advice seems to add up! Although i still blame myself for being insecure ,she says if we reach a certain point ,straight away im ticking that off and looking to the next goal!Shes not wrong,however i will say sorry ,yes your probably right and rein myself back in! So iv no problems being cooler and starting dating...but im to coward at moment to say ..whats all this fcbk stuff...do you not think i realize your deleting comments..hell if you looked at her page you wouldnt guess shes in a relationship.However since she put 'in a relationship'...the fellers have tailed off !Even though shes removed it after last week...at least she hasnt put single though..lol! ID like to stay and see what happens with me playing it cooler!
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