UniqueEbony Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) Hey It's been a while since i was last on here but just wanted to get some advice ....... My friend showed a guy at work some pictures of me and he asked if I'd be up for a blind date, so i agreed and I gave him my email address. Later that night he emailed and asked if i wanted to go for a drink, i responded that i would love to but was busy with work that week but would like to meet him the following week - i also gave him my phone number. He never responded so after the weekend i sent him an email just asking if he wanted to meet for the drink and again he didnt reply!! I'm not going to contact him again, because i think the silence says it all, im just curious as to why he would initiate contact/drink and then ignore me .....????? Edited October 9, 2010 by UniqueEbony
witabix Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Because he is rude? Some people are weird like that you can find rudeness anywhere these days.
Author UniqueEbony Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Yeah I guess that's what i put it down to initially - just bad manners, now im just sitting here thinking will he get in contact again??
sugarmomma Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Yeah I guess that's what i put it down to initially - just bad manners, now im just sitting here thinking will he get in contact again?? Why do you care?? He's being an ass by ignoring you.
atlnay Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Yeah I guess that's what i put it down to initially - just bad manners, now im just sitting here thinking will he get in contact again?? OP do you want to date a seemingly rude guy? I had a friend try to "set" me up on a blind date with her husbands cousin that was new in town. I told her ok. When I talked to the guy on the phone, somehow I asked him how he went about getting my number and he quickly retorted he never asked to be set up, which left me confused. But I finished the conversation with him. We had tentative plans to meet a few time and in both cases he never texted me back. I had a talk with my friend next about why did she try to set up two people who weren't asking to be set up. Then I let it go. My point to saying that was, if you are going to wonder about this guy, you really need to ask your friend what his story is and just tell them. "Hey, your friend who was initially interested in me, hasn't replied to me twice now. Next time you talk to him, tell him I got the hint." or "What's up with that? Is he that flakey?" or some variation that you can do.
Author UniqueEbony Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 I did ask my friend about him but she tld me that he'd not been at work so she couldnt ask him what was up ....... I was in a bad relationship for a while but i finally managed to end id and this would have potentially been the first bit of male interest I'd received since the break up, so i guess i had my hopes up right from the start, which is why i feel so dissapointed that he didnt reply .......
Feelin Frisky Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) He pulled a woman on ya. Females often get POed when a guy doesn't take an advance the first time and then shut him down--giving him no time to think and come around. They often conclude something about him which throws a "fault" on him as oppopsed to a "fault" on themselves. The problem is that "fault" is a fools game. One needs to be open-minded and give people more of a chance. But some people just grow up terrirotial and judgemental--learning to hurl fault as a defense mechanism at anyone else who doesn't act the way they expect. That is what we call ego-centrism and ultimatley narcissism. I think you probaly encountered a guy who has these unfortunate social defaults. Take it that you've found out something valuable about this guy without further risk and close him out. You didn't do anything wrong and deserve better. I said "pulled a woman on ya" because men are usually more dense and slow on the draw and so I find it more typical for women to close a man out than a man closing a woman out. This case is the reverse it would seem. Not that you're dense. You just weren't preceisely as fast as his tolerance-level was prepared for. Edited October 9, 2010 by Feelin Frisky
Author UniqueEbony Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Ummmm didnt look at it that way, thanks for the info ...... my other friends are being really polite and trying not to hhurt my feelings so they are saying things like "he's probably busy and will get in touch" or its "its only been a week" or "he's just tying to play it cool" ........
tami-chan Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Well...might be rude on his part but really he is not obligated to respond..you did your part and was gracious...next him. I hope you will not give your friend a hard time about it. It is not her/his fault the guy is a social moron....wait...we do not know that...has anybody checked his apartment?
brainygirl Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 some people get weird when you can't meet them when they want. Those people are either control freaks or have no life and cannot understand that others have plans and responsibilities that might preclude meeting on the desired night. Its rude of him to ignore you. I wouldn't waste another minute on him.
atlnay Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I did ask my friend about him but she tld me that he'd not been at work so she couldnt ask him what was up ....... I was in a bad relationship for a while but i finally managed to end id and this would have potentially been the first bit of male interest I'd received since the break up, so i guess i had my hopes up right from the start, which is why i feel so dissapointed that he didnt reply ....... OP, maybe something is more wrong with him than just not replying to your texts/emails if he hasn't even been to work?
Author UniqueEbony Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 I would never give my friend a hard time, like you said its not her fault, she thought he ws a a nice guy but obviously not ... i just wouldnt be that rude to someone so just presumed that every1 was the same .... how wrong i was .....!!! But then again he doesnt owe me anything but i wouldnt be so bothered if he hadnt initiated the contact first ...........
atlnay Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I would never give my friend a hard time, like you said its not her fault, she thought he ws a a nice guy but obviously not ... Awwwww...don't rush to that conclusion just yet. As you said, no one knows what his story is. That's all you know at this point. i just wouldnt be that rude to someone so just presumed that every1 was the same .... how wrong i was .....!!! Eh...chalk it up to the dating game and use it as a lesson to manage your expectations and develop thicker skin. When you date enough you learn that everyone's value on courtesy is way different than yours and honestly in the beginning stages is where you set boundaries and parameters.
Author UniqueEbony Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 AtlNay - that's true also, i didnt really consider that, but it has been over a week
atlnay Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 AtlNay - that's true also, i didnt really consider that, but it has been over a week Without knowing what exactly is going on with him, it does you no good to go back to how long it's been. He could be out of town dealing with a sick family member (and knowing you via pix & email wouldn't necessarily mean you need to be touched base with at this point) Or he could be out sleeping with a different woman every nite on a week long holiday vacation...lol...(still at your level of meeting each other, he doesn't have to touch base with you at this point) If, or when, he contacts you again OP, what you can do is gently let him know how much you like reasonable communication, even if it's a text saying, "Hey, I'm alive but busy, I'll contact you on XX day". It sets your standards of expectations and if he wants to get to know you better, he'll meet them. If he continues to disregard them, after letting him know, you make a decision on what to do next. Good luck to ya!
Author UniqueEbony Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Its true I havent had much dating experience, i was with my ex for four years and then my my previous boyfriend for 6 years - both of which got intense very quickly - so this is new to me but as im learning its all part of teh dating game!!!
atlnay Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Ahhh, yea 10 years of committed relationships and now dating, you're going to learn a LOT! lol and not all bad I know you didn't ask for advice per se , but since you are learning, I would offer a few tidbits: try and have fun, keep a sense of humor, don't take things too personally, keep your standards but be flexible, try and date at least 2-3 guys if you can (it'll help keep you from emotionally getting attached to the "wrong" person for you) and make sure to keep a healthy balance between men and your friends. Good luck to ya!
paleblue Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 some people get weird when you can't meet them when they want. Those people are either control freaks or have no life and cannot understand that others have plans and responsibilities that might preclude meeting on the desired night. Its rude of him to ignore you. I wouldn't waste another minute on him. Ditto. Couldnt' have said it better.
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