squeaky Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I've been friends with this guy for about a year. We dated at first, but after a few dates I decided I just wanted to be friends. We've stayed friends, but he's always been flirty. About two months ago we started hanging out A LOT. We would flirt constantly, with both of us making sexual comments, but him making way more. Finally I wrote him an email asking him what was up. I basically said I'd be down with hooking up, but just hanging out was fine with me (I was just kind of lukewarm about him at this point). He said he just wanted to be friends, and I was cool with that. But then things changed. We started hanging out all of the time (like 3 times a week). For awhile he really cut back on the sexual comments, and I thought we were definitely just friends. But then about a month ago, he started up with them again. Since then, there's just always sexual tension. The other thing is that whenever we hang out, he always pays for me. He always wants to make sure I'm comfortable and happy. he picks me up and drives me home, and he has little nicknames for me. Last weekend I spent the whole weekend at his house, and I even slept in his bed. At one point we were goofing around and he touched my butt while we were in bed. I told him to stop because I just felt kind of shy and nervous. And that's my problem. I am sending him horrible mixed signals. Every time he tries to do anything, I rebuff him. He hasn't tried to kiss me or really do anything outright recently, but whenever I get the feeling that he might try something, I kinda back away. When we first dated, he asked me if he could kiss me and I said no. He asked a few times and finally he said he wouldn't try anymore. But that was like a year ago. Now I want to kiss him! The thing is, I can't tell if he is just being friendly and silly. He jokes around so much that it's hard to tell if he is really interested in me or attracted to me, or if he's just being sweet because I'm his friend. Last night we hung out and unfortunately I got kind of drunk. I ended up falling asleep at his house and we slept in his bed. He wanted to drive me home (probably because he didn't have work today and he didn't want to have to drive me home in the morning). Nothing happened, but we did cuddle a little bit. I cuddled with him and then I asked him to cuddle me and we fell asleep. I felt sick in the morning and said I'd be happy to take the bus home, but he insisted on driving me. When I asked him about hanging out tonight, he said no. He always wants to hang out. I think he is just sick of my mixed signals, or maybe he doesn't have feelings for me and the cuddling was inappropriate. I like him a lot, I'm just afraid of rejection. My last relationship was a bad breakup, and the guy and I remained friends but he said he wasn't attracted to me anymore so he wouldn't have sex with me. No one has ever said that to me, but that really hurt me. I'm afraid of being rejected again, and I'm afraid that I'm just misreading my friend's actions and he is just being friendly like my ex. What should I do? Any insight would be so helpful, because at this point I'm just feeling like a clueless jerk.
Author squeaky Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Also, I'm not sure if I should give him space, or try to make plans with him tomorrow? Maybe he's trying to tell me to leave him alone, but maybe if he agreed to hang out I could try to tell him how I feel? I think it's only in the past week that I've realized that I've actually developed feelings for him and I'm just not sure what to do.
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