TigerCub Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 This is a song my xH played one day and a light bulb went off in my head but I kept my mouth shut...all the while realized this applied to many BSs and OWs the same. Excuses galore!! This link has the lyrics to part of the song but at the top you can press the play button and listen....it's almost comical because you know it is all a bunch of gaslighting. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/treysongz/cominforyou.html Haha...The Play button played a diff song. But I read the lyrics - that is awesome!! so true eh! hehe I love Trey Songz. Another song of his, actually made me cry. I was listening to the new cd in my car and it came on, and it just made me cry, cuz although I see xMM for what he is, the hurt is still there - its an awesome song tho. http://www.elyricsworld.com/can't_be_friends_lyrics_trey_songz.html
TigerCub Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 You know.......you are RIGHT. The other man in my life who said IT was the 2nd biggest asshat I've know. Sad thing is tho - the reverse doesn't guarantee a good man either. xMM used to tell me that he's afraid to completely open up to me because he's afraid that I wouldn't like him anymore - because he's NOT such a good guy - I guess (?) It's a crap shoot - the self declaired good guys are a-holes and the ones that imply they're not so good - are just as douchy
porter218 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Haha...The Play button played a diff song. But I read the lyrics - that is awesome!! so true eh! hehe I love Trey Songz. Another song of his, actually made me cry. I was listening to the new cd in my car and it came on, and it just made me cry, cuz although I see xMM for what he is, the hurt is still there - its an awesome song tho. http://www.elyricsworld.com/can't_be_friends_lyrics_trey_songz.html strange.. tried my own link again and it always plays the right song. Are you sure you got the wrong one? The lyrics on that page are only a small portion in the middle of that song. Yes the hurt will stay there for years to come but fade away with time. These things I think are just a way make us really understand what we really want in a man. Honestly...you walk away from this stuff with so much more clarity on what you are looking for in love. I am thankful for that...even though it hurt to get there.
porter218 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Oh wait.. forgot about this great one. My best friend about a decade ago was "in love" with this married man who was sooooo miserable with his judgmental W. My friend was from Poland, and over here(the US) to get her masters and met a OBYN that was a super 'textbook MM'. He was always complaining to her about how his W didn't accept that he wanted to drink every once in a while and she was basically the devil incarnate. So while on call for the hospital he would be at my friends house drinking hardcore and taking "vitamins"...hahaha...yea, thats what he told her they were. I asked her to sneak one of these "vitamins" away so I could find out what it really was. OxyContin:eek:. His line to her was "my W never lets me just be myself and relax, and love...you do. I love you because you don't judge me. When my kids are old enough I will leave and I can get out of this hellhole" So you mean your wife doesn't like it when you illegally prescribe yourself high powered narcotics and drink heavily when you are on call to deliver babies... omg!! thats horrible. oh poor you!! She is so selfish to think of these little babies lives and in such mean spirit tell you ' honey, I wish you wouldn't risk your career like this' .
Fieldsofgold Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 "Bless her heart, she's sick. If I left her . . . " (right. Just having an affair wouldn't be too hard on her, but now if you left her, well, you wouldn't want to be responsible. . .oh, and how has your O/OW of ten years impacted her health?) "They (W & OW) are violent. They will hurt you if they find out." (Ok, so why is this guy is dating me, knowing he's (allegedly) putting my life in danger at the hands of these two jealous and violent women. He loves me but would endanger me like that? And even worse, I didn't know they existed. I can see it now. As two menacing women approach me - "Who are you, and why do you want to hurt me?") Just barf! And then there were all the times he couldn't call because he fell asleep at 6 pm. Or he was chasing squirrels in the attic, or replumbing the house and yard - repeatedly. I am more bitter than I had realized.
BB07 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I am more bitter than I had realized. Look at this as a way of purging.......and yes I know what you mean. Hugs......
Fieldsofgold Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 You know...the funny (or not so funny) thing is I believe sometimes they mean a few of these things they say at that very moment they say it...then they go home to their W and say the same things and absolutely mean it ...at that very moment they say it. Whomever they have in their presence at the time is "the one" for them. Those are the really sick ones IMO. LS members should write " 'The guide to the MM's bulls'__t..Coauthored by BS & OW" I think this is absolutely true. At that moment, they really mean it. Are they psycho?
on a learning curve Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 :rolleyes: I swear BB07, that is one thing I have learned in my quest for the elusive Mr Right...If he has to actually say this then perhaps it isn't as true as he would like you to think. Literally every man who has said that to me were the worst of 'em. I saw the movie "Eat, Pray, Love: One of the lines was:"You don't need a man, you need a champion". One of these days...
Fieldsofgold Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Look at this as a way of purging.......and yes I know what you mean. Hugs...... Thanks for the hug, I needed it. Yes, I think it is therapeutic to air it out, as I have a tendency to just stuff things away.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 How could I forget this little gem.......as told to the bs MANY TIMES when he was caught and a hundred times thereafter while seeing me and keeping me unaware that he was MARRIED. Of course I heard it to. "I'm a good man" There there was....."I'm trying to do the right thing" "I want her to have what's fair" How could she get what is fair when she didn't even know they were separated??? Oh yeah........they weren't. Yes, this! And let me assure you, if a man ever tells you he is not good enough for you, don't argue - run away as fast as you can.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 (edited) Or how about, I love you so much I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't stop shaking. Yeah, too bad he couldn't stop lying or sleeping with multiple women. Edited October 9, 2010 by Fieldsofgold
desertIslandCactus Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 OK, Here is the thread that accomodates this one. If my link doesn't come out right - the thread was started by Greengoddess on May 21 - and it is called: "How To Have a Successful Affair". You will love it. www.loveshack.org/forums/t232055/?highlight=greengoddess
Author Ellin Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 Lets not forget: I wish I could be with you forever. The problem with this one is that it's so easy for OW to take it as "I want to be with you so I will", while MM is only talking about his wish, not his intention.
Author Ellin Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 "She has a gun" ...and she's not afraid to use it.
lilbunny Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I have enjoyed this, here are some corkers- "I don't want to hurt anyone" (bit late for that really) "I won't be pushed and pressured" (no take your own sweet time) Me: "Are you ever going to leave?" MM: "I've thought about it" did I really fall for this bs?
Fieldsofgold Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I have enjoyed this, here are some corkers- "I don't want to hurt anyone" (bit late for that really) "I won't be pushed and pressured" (no take your own sweet time) Me: "Are you ever going to leave?" MM: "I've thought about it" did I really fall for this bs? Outstanding!
porter218 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I have enjoyed this, here are some corkers- "I don't want to hurt anyone" (bit late for that really) "I won't be pushed and pressured" (no take your own sweet time) Me: "Are you ever going to leave?" MM: "I've thought about it" did I really fall for this bs? hahaa! I actually heard that one yesterday from a lady I work with. She has been having an A for 2 almost 3yrs now and that is what she told me about why she will not just be honest with her H. I told her it was time to just spill it to him because I'm tired of listening to her sordid A details... and she says "but I just don't want to hurt anyone" referring to both her OM and her H. She is lieing to them both. OM thinks she is separated and doesn't live with him anymore H thinks she stopped the A 1 1/2 yrs ago. Mind blowing:eek: She jumps through hoops on a daily to keep this juggling act going.
lilbunny Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I missed another choice phrase- Me: "Why haven't you been in touch?" MM: "Sorry I couldn't, but it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you" I'm sure there are more. "I don't want to hurt anyone" is a favourite, I did point out that it was a bit late for that and someone had to get hurt, I also told him I was well aware it would be me. Wait... another special moment- "I'm just trying to keep everyone happy"
my story Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I am on the 3rd day of NC and reading all these just makes me realize they are indeed all the same. When they want to convince you to be with them, "i love you", "you are my best friend", "you make me feel good all over again", "you are once in a lifeltime". When they want to throw you under the bus, "i want to do the right thing" How pathetic. I wish i had listened to you all six months ago. You guys knew he would be back and he would flip flop, but I let it happen. I can't blame anyone but myself.
lilbunny Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I am on the 3rd day of NC and reading all these just makes me realize they are indeed all the same. When they want to convince you to be with them, "i love you", "you are my best friend", "you make me feel good all over again", "you are once in a lifeltime". When they want to throw you under the bus, "i want to do the right thing" How pathetic. I wish i had listened to you all six months ago. You guys knew he would be back and he would flip flop, but I let it happen. I can't blame anyone but myself. What scares me most is the fact that he believes all of the things he says. No wonder I did! Hindsight is a wonderful thing, don't beat yourself up about it.
my story Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 What scares me most is the fact that he believes all of the things he says. No wonder I did! Hindsight is a wonderful thing, don't beat yourself up about it. Thanks a lot. Today is the day I blame it on myself, yesterday was the day I felt so angry. He was the one convinced me to get into this, now he is back to his perfect life leaving me all the pain. How could people be so heartless? And we thought someone like this was our best friend!
Confused4Now Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 My favorite one from this category was, I believe, what Confused4Now heard: "I sleep in the same bed as my H but there is a huge pillow separating us"... (sorry C4N)My best friend says...if she comes back and wants to go back to me....he told me to tell her... Well I'm seeing someone now...it's not serious she comes and sleep with me. But I have a huge body pillow separating us. :D:D Here are mine..... God put us together to find each other after so many years we finally found each other. After every sentence she'd called me HUBBY or BABY all the time. I can't leave the house cause I'm STUBBORN...it's my HOUSE. You know how I am.... I'm really slow about things. I can't tell my kids...I still treat them like babies. Their 24 and 21 living at home.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 My best friend says...if she comes back and wants to go back to me....he told me to tell her... Well I'm seeing someone now...it's not serious she comes and sleep with me. But I have a huge body pillow separating us. :D:D Here are mine..... God put us together to find each other after so many years we finally found each other. After every sentence she'd called me HUBBY or BABY all the time. I can't leave the house cause I'm STUBBORN...it's my HOUSE. You know how I am.... I'm really slow about things. I can't tell my kids...I still treat them like babies. Their 24 and 21 living at home. These are pretty special!
unsure10 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 (edited) Wow!!!!! Ok so I can actually see so clearly that each OW thinks that she can get her MM to leave to be with her because yeah sure most don't, but HE is different because YOU & HIM have this special connection and he really is only truly happy when with you. B****cks!!!!!! It seems to me (I have woken up big time this weekend) that MM go for another woman because it is an ego stroke and at the end of the day the worst scenario for them would be if their wife found out and left them . . . but wait . . . that wouldn't be so bad because they would have OW waiting in the wings practically begging to be with them anyway!! The OW seems to fall for MM as has other issues going on - maybe insecure or perhaps thinks she wants some excitement but then gets in too deep and starts wanting the impossible - him to leave his cushy set up and be with her. It's all about the OW ego really as it's all about getting MM off the wife . . . because that proves that you are wonderful . . . and if he doesn't leave it just makes the sordid affair seem just that . . . sordid. If MM leaves then it wasn't sordid and you weren't being used . . . right??!! I reckon the only victim here is the wife and yet really she is the luckiest (if it never comes out) as she doesn't have sleepless nights and feel rejected each time MM goes back to the wife. There is no way I am going down this road . . . came close though . . . thanks guys for sharing your experiences otherwise I may have ended up posting on here in a few months saying how upset and p***ed off I am with MM Edited October 10, 2010 by unsure10
Author Ellin Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 Wow!!!!! Ok so I can actually see so clearly that each OW thinks that she can get her MM to leave to be with her because yeah sure most don't, but HE is different because YOU & HIM have this special connection and he really is only truly happy when with you. B****cks!!!!!! It seems to me (I have woken up big time this weekend) that MM go for another woman because it is an ego stroke and at the end of the day the worst scenario for them would be if their wife found out and left them . . . but wait . . . that wouldn't be so bad because they would have OW waiting in the wings practically begging to be with them anyway!! The OW seems to fall for MM as has other issues going on - maybe insecure or perhaps thinks she wants some excitement but then gets in too deep and starts wanting the impossible - him to leave his cushy set up and be with her. It's all about the OW ego really as it's all about getting MM off the wife . . . because that proves that you are wonderful . . . and if he doesn't leave it just makes the sordid affair seem just that . . . sordid. If MM leaves then it wasn't sordid and you weren't being used . . . right??!! I reckon the only victim here is the wife and yet really she is the luckiest (if it never comes out) as she doesn't have sleepless nights and feel rejected each time MM goes back to the wife. There is no way I am going down this road . . . came close though . . . thanks guys for sharing your experiences otherwise I may have ended up posting on here in a few months saying how upset and p***ed off I am with MM I think you've posted it on a wrong thread... If you post again can you stay on topic, thank you.
Recommended Posts