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How to have a successful affair.


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Posted

That question was asked in another section of this forum and I thought it may be fun for us to answer that from what we've experienced.

 

So how does one go about having a successful affair?

 

1. Never call "your" married man. Always be available and wait by the phone for him to call you first.

 

next...

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Posted

Provide "your" married man with his very own SECRET cell phone in which you pay for.

Posted

Define "successful affair". There are many definitions of success.

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Posted

I would assume not getting caught or raising suspicians.

 

No affair can really be successful. Someone always comes out really hurt.

 

Shall we continue?

 

Never ask "your" married man if he is having sex with his wife. You may not like the answer.

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Posted

Always compliment "your" married man, always agree with him and feed his ego very chance you get, even when he is being an arrogant jerk.

Posted

Never believe they are going to leave for you.

 

Never believe any word coming out of their mouths, it's all lies anyway.

 

This thread makes me :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

Posted

Fair enough.

 

By that definition, a 'successful affair' is pretty much an oxymoron. They nearly always end up being caught at some point, even decades later.

 

There are tons of steps that someone can try to do to hide the affair...but in the end, success is going to be a unicorn.

 

I think that the only thing I could add would be:

 

"End the marriage as soon as possible, to avoid getting caught during the actual affair itself".

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Posted

:laugh::laugh: Okay I guess I'm not being very successful at this post. I was trying to be funny and give the OW the sad but true things that are done to hide the affair and to what extent these men will go to lie to everyone.

 

cont...

 

Always understand that when "your" married man goes on vacation with his family that he will be miserable and missing you the whole time and he is just doing it for his kids.

Posted
Here ya go... It's all ya need to know... :lmao:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t227581/

 

Jthorne that was too funny. I have been waiting for Lizzie's comments. She is the only one I can think of that is successful at having A's:D

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Posted

Be ready for that quick phone call on evenings and weekends from "your" married man with the sounds of bathroom noises in the background.

Posted
Jthorne that was too funny. I have been waiting for Lizzie's comments. She is the only one I can think of that is successful at having A's:D

 

Those aren't A's. They are business transactions.

Posted

  • Always give him a full-body massage because sleeping on the "couch" must be killing his back.

  • Hope his kids are in super accelerated classes so they can go to college at 16. He's waiting for the kids to head off to "college" so he can get a D.

Posted

I think that in order to have a successful affair a person would have to be completely absent of self, expectations, hope for the future.

Posted

I don't find this the least bit funny even in a joking manner... :(

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Posted

If you must wear perfume always wear the kind "your" married man buys for his wife.

Posted

Never EVER call or text on weekends

Posted

From a real thread about a month ago.

 

Don't leave a box of condoms (that you and your wife don't use) under the seat of your pick-up.

 

How Jerry Springerish. :)

Posted

Jerry Springerish is this thread and the person who started it.

 

Sorry just callin em like I see em'!

Posted

Most of these comment are too cute ... and hilarious.. What a great way to approach this subject.. making light ... while telling it how it is .. ha

Posted

I am never going into the OW forum again :(

 

how completely unbelievable :sick:

Posted

It's like in Vietnam: declare "success" and you are successful.

 

Same thing with affairs. Post on LS declaring your affair was "successful" and therefore, it was.

Posted
Most of these comment are too cute ... and hilarious.. What a great way to approach this subject.. making light ... while telling it how it is .. ha

 

Yeah too bad some of the other posters don't get it. I mean a sense of humor please. Things don't always have to be so serious.

Posted
Yeah too bad some of the other posters don't get it. I mean a sense of humor please. Things don't always have to be so serious.

 

------------------

 

I luv it ..

Posted

Make sure you portray your spouse as cold, unloving, petty and argumentative.

 

Never tell your OP that she/he pays all the bills, manages the accounts and household, plans and executes every activity for and with the children, and picks up your dry cleaning while working a full-time job.

 

He/she visits your sick parents, makes your doctor appointments, checks the oil in the car and gets it washed.

 

Speaks to your family and arranges most of the holiday-hosting and drags you to family events.

 

What a shrewish abusive spouse!:laugh::laugh::laugh:

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