Cee Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I'm joining a good friend tonight to try speed dating. I'm doing it more to try it out than to meet somebody. And since my friend is a guy, we'll have a "date" together to talk about the night & maybe give each other a breather. I have no expectations of anything, but this experience has been on my dating "bucket list" for awhile. Anybody try it? Any stories?
Andy_K Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I had a go once a few years ago. Something like 14 guys and 14 girls, 2 or 3 minutes talking to each. For some of them, that was far too long I went on my own, but it was a good laugh. I'd recommend it. I did meet up with one girl I met there a few times, but it didn't go anywhere. I'm not sure I'd go with a friend though, because it would be too easy to fall into the 'comfort zone' of not making the effort to spend the 'down time' talking to new people.
Author Cee Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 Good point about the down time. My friend and I are driving there together so we don't have to talk during the event. We can debrief on the way home. My friend is a "seasoned" speed dater , so I think he'll want me to leave him alone while he chats up the pretty women. I have heard advice that a person should check off everyone at the party, so that they can see who picked them. But that sounds awkward. I'd rather select people that I enjoyed talking to. Thoughts?
Andy_K Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 If you're attractive, 90% of the guys will tick you regardless of how well or badly your brief date with them went. This is because guys will tick anyone who is reasonably attractive, regardless of anything else Doesn't work the same way for guys though. Girls are very selective and will all tend to pick two or three guys at most, if any at all. So it's more important for a guy to be generous with the ticks in order to get any matches at all. As a girl, you won't need to do that.
Crazy Magnet Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I'm so jealous! Speed dating is something I have never tried but want to. If I ever find myself single again it's the first thing I'm going to do! I can't wait to hear all about it.
jerbear Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I've done something similar and it was good to meet a few people. Now regarding the ticking off people. As a guy I didn't do anything, if I was interested I'll flat out ask for her contact. It was fun but checking everyone off to see who liked who... interesting and can be depressing for guys!
alexlakeman Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Cee, good luck. Just look at it, as you said, for fun & if something comes out of it, great. I guess it would be different for a guy, since there's so much competition in that enviroment and women are picky. Some other guy on here said he went by himself. I figured that would be akward going alone. Something like if you were to go to happy hour by yourself and try to meet someone. Ticking off? Can someone post a brief outline how this speed dating works? It's like an interview I guess lol. So you ck some women off and if they clicked you too, you'll get each other's contact info? Down time? So there's like a mingling session for the whole group together? It would be akward if you're the last person standing not being chatted to. How much $$? Sounds like something different to do lol
Author Cee Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 This is what I know of speed dating. It's not cheap. Cost me $35. Price may vary by company. I'm doing "8 minute dating". I go on 8, 8 minute dates through rotating tables. Women sit, men rotate. Other companies do shorter "dates" with more people. And some companies you don't go on a date with every eligible person. They have different age groups. Usually the men are slightly older than the women. At the end of the night, we hand feedback cards to the organizer, with the people we like. They enter it in the system and then I'm supposed to log in to see who likes me. And then we can contact each other via the system. Or do the old fashioned thing and exchange details during the night. There's a mingle session before and after speed dating. It's a time to buy drinks and chat with people informally. That time is important with speed dating that doesn't have you meet everybody. There's a rush for people to talk to cuties they didn't have a "date" with. I think it's worth trying. I have experience in doing improv comedy so hopefully I'll be funny and quick witted on the fly. I'll let you know how it turns out.
2sure Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I did it a long time ago just for something fun. It was fun...but the guys are really really nervous.
reservoirdog1 Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 I went a few years ago with a friend. Not much came of it, but the experience was enjoyable. I've never been overly comfortable with simply walking up to a random woman and initiating conversation, so it was a good opportunity to do that twenty times in a very short space of time. Good experience and good practice.
Author Cee Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 Speed dating was fun tonight. Some of the guys were socially awkward, but everyone was good to talk to. I talked to a lot of the women and we shared our impressions of people. There was one guy who was the designated "hottie." I can't explain why he was so attractive because he was balding, a little overweight, but he had a glow. He had this friendly charisma that made him like catnip. All of the women were fighting over him, including me. I think if somebody could figure out how an average looking guy could be so irresistible, they could make a million dollars. He seemed at ease and he stood out from the crowd. I mentioned that he seemed to be the most popular guy and he shyly smiled and said, "I think it's because I'm friendly and open to talking." I hit it off with one person who was not my physical type at all. Short, skinny, bald, but he was a doctor and an artist and he was the only person I had rapid fire banter with. The guy was really smart and socially adept. I chose him for a date. We'll see if he responds. He left early so I'm not sure. I also realized that women can be stupid in choosing men. The women I talked to didn't realize that my male friend is a major catch. One woman called him "nice." He is anything but nice. He's successful, socially skilled, and is physically fit. But he was already onto how some of the women didn't get it. He said he's going to pick one or two women, but doesn't care. Speed dating is worth trying and it's great to get past the pretty faces on online sites and get some time with a person. I met 10 guys in 2 hours. I liked one and enjoyed talking to the rest. Not a bad rate of return.
alexlakeman Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Good to hear you had a great time! So you like the little bald guy ... based on conversation you had with him? Clicking? Or "net income" :LOL? I need to know the popular guy's charm!! the balding guy..
Unsuccessful Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I have done it in the past, 2 or 3 times @ $35 each. Each time, I ticked off every guy, but no guys picked me. I am not very pretty, so I think it was a waste of money for me, just like online dating or real-life dating. If you are pretty, it would probably work quite well.
OceanGirl Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 Cee, What is the competition like? Are the women hot? I have never been speed dating.
Author Cee Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 Good to hear you had a great time! So you like the little bald guy ... based on conversation you had with him? Clicking? Or "net income" :LOL? I need to know the popular guy's charm!! the balding guy.. I know you must be joking because I am the most rabidly anti-materialistic person on Love Shack. I am turned off by guys who throw money around because I think fancy cars, big houses, and designer clothing are wasteful. I clicked with the guy because he was sharp and quick witted. We had a discussion about art. He went to art school in his free time and I do sculpture as a hobby. Our banter was fast and our comments built on each other. As for the guy who everyone loved, it was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. I didn't even get a good look at him, but I was pushing to meet him first. It was like magic, like a guardian angel cast a spell on the room. I can't explain it. It was right out of the Twilight Zone.
Disillusioned Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 If you know what you want, speed dating is not for you. I tried it and ended up attracting the wrong kinds of women. Also, if you live in a big city, some of the women who show up at those speed dating parties are nomads or high-income emotional disaster cases.
2sure Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 As to the average guy getting so much attention. You nailed it when you said "Charisma". They say you either have it or you dont. In my profession, I basically market "people" - individuals. Their success is in part due to their attractiveness - but many of them are not considered traditionally attractive , in fact - some ARE traditionally unattractive. But they have "Charisma" and that makes them attractive. Now, I myself am ...average. Maybe slightly above on a good day and with some effort. BUT - people (both men and women) will tell you I am attractive when they describe me. Some will say VERY. I'm just not and I think its kind of interesting. The more socially adept, comfortable, and confident I became - the more attractive people seemed to find me. I mean, I still looked the same - but men were noticing me from across a room. I guess thats Charisma. I wasnt born with it. I think with practice, it can be acquired. Its not so much a skill as a comfort level.
Author Cee Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 Cee, What is the competition like? Are the women hot? I have never been speed dating. Now that you mention it... Yes, the women were hot. I swung more to my bisexual side last night. I tried chatting up a woman to test the waters, but she was really self-centered and opinionated. She was a stereotype of the women that men complain about on LS. I don't think she noticed I was flirting with her. She was probably 100% straight, but you never know with women so I tried. It's kind of funny that I was hitting on a woman because my male friend (totally straight) and I got to talk about her. My friend said that he liked her because she had a "hot body," but he didn't pick her b/c she was unfriendly. And her hair was weird. So there's your answer. I have no idea if that makes you more or less interested in speed dating.
Author Cee Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 If you know what you want, speed dating is not for you. I tried it and ended up attracting the wrong kinds of women. Also, if you live in a big city, some of the women who show up at those speed dating parties are nomads or high-income emotional disaster cases. One of my biggest disappointments is that almost none of the guys lived in the city the event was held. They would make comments that my city is dirty and dangerous. That was a major turnoff for me. I didn't talk to all of the women, but I was amazed at how normal they were. Only one woman I talked to seemed weird and socially awkward, but she was really pretty and youthful looking. I found out later she was a psychiatrist
lovestruck818 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 If you're attractive, 90% of the guys will tick you regardless of how well or badly your brief date with them went. This is because guys will tick anyone who is reasonably attractive, regardless of anything else Doesn't work the same way for guys though. Girls are very selective and will all tend to pick two or three guys at most, if any at all. So it's more important for a guy to be generous with the ticks in order to get any matches at all. As a girl, you won't need to do that. So true. I'm a female and I didn't find any of the guys attractive when I did it...but I'm so picky...which is why I've been single pretty much forever. (I'm in a new relationship, 2 mos now...but I've always been extremely picky).
lovestruck818 Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I have done it in the past, 2 or 3 times @ $35 each. Each time, I ticked off every guy, but no guys picked me. I am not very pretty, so I think it was a waste of money for me, just like online dating or real-life dating. If you are pretty, it would probably work quite well. yeah but if you are pretty, generally you find the men not so attractive. I consider myself attractive (that's up for debate) and i was disappointed with the guys i got when I went- lots of fat and balding guys. Not my thing.
Author Cee Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 (edited) Just got an email that I matched with the charismatic guy with the glow. We matched for FRIENDSHIP so he's not into me in that way. I know it doesn't mean much, but I actually thought he seemed like a decent person and wanted to spend more time talking. But 8 minute dating isn't good with privacy. I was given his full name, email, and phone number. I thought I would have gotten a generic email address to communicate. They might have settings for privacy, but I don't remember any when I signed up. I plan to email later in the weekend, if he doesn't do so first. My goal is to get one good conversation (phone or in person) with him. I've got to find out about that glow. That glow is driving me crazy. Where does it come from? I'll keep you posted... Edited October 8, 2010 by Cee
sanskrit Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I've got to find out about that glow. That glow is driving me crazy. Where does it come from? Ecstasy? or maybe he is a repo man.
lovestruck818 Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Just got an email that I matched with the charismatic guy with the glow. We matched for FRIENDSHIP so he's not into me in that way. I know it doesn't mean much, but I actually thought he seemed like a decent person and wanted to spend more time talking. But 8 minute dating isn't good with privacy. I was given his full name, email, and phone number. I thought I would have gotten a generic email address to communicate. They might have settings for privacy, but I don't remember any when I signed up. I plan to email later in the weekend, if he doesn't do so first. My goal is to get one good conversation (phone or in person) with him. I've got to find out about that glow. That glow is driving me crazy. Where does it come from? I'll keep you posted... You should try dateswitch. They have them in most major cities. I did a NY one. I wasn't thrilled with the guys but as far as privacy, all you got was their e-mail address, which is good, b/c sometimes if I am unsure of someone, I don't want to give out my phone number. I don't know what kinds of guys you're into. I also think with speeddating it's very or hit-or-miss in terms of who else is signing up.
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