irc333 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Now, when I say "younger" single mothers, not talking about 18 year olds ingle moms, but moms...well, who had kids young, but now reached their late 30's and NOW have kids grown up already. Or somewhere in that age area. You come across 2 kinds of single moms, the ones that have kids that are still in the single digits....or, the ones that are 18 or older. So for those of you guys that are shy of dating single moms with kids that are a little too young and can wind up occupying a single mom's time, would dating a single mom with adult kids (esp at a young 38-40 ish) be the better option? If so, if any guys dated younger single mothers who haven't even reached 40 and the kids ar already adults...do you find this to be a benefit in a sense?
Cee Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Not a lot of women in their late 30s have grown up children. It happens, but nowadays people are having babies later. I suggest you date women with children and see what happens. I think it's too hard to generalize. I have dated men with children, but they almost never have primary custody, so it doesn't apply to your situation. I abide by the policy that I have as few dealbreakers or requirements as possible. I date a wide variety of men- younger, older, thinner, fatter, richer, poorer, etc, etc. The only thing I really care about is if we are emotionally and sexually compatible. And that we like each other in a romantic way. That, in itself, is really difficult. I don't try to add a layer of difficulty by saying the guy needs to be X, Y, or Z. But go ahead, date women with children. Have fun.
Author irc333 Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 Well, I was referring to dating women with adult children....because you don't have to worry about baby sitters or constant supervision or visitation rights. Not a lot of women in their late 30s have grown up children. It happens, but nowadays people are having babies later. I suggest you date women with children and see what happens. I think it's too hard to generalize. I have dated men with children, but they almost never have primary custody, so it doesn't apply to your situation. I abide by the policy that I have as few dealbreakers or requirements as possible. I date a wide variety of men- younger, older, thinner, fatter, richer, poorer, etc, etc. The only thing I really care about is if we are emotionally and sexually compatible. And that we like each other in a romantic way. That, in itself, is really difficult. I don't try to add a layer of difficulty by saying the guy needs to be X, Y, or Z. But go ahead, date women with children. Have fun.
witabix Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I have done the other end of the spectrum, young children. It was cool. Younger kids are more open minded I found. My ex wife has older children, mine, and she has issues with partners and our adult kids. Adult children are possibly harder to get along with, the inevitable comparison with their fathers, the fact that they are more set in their ways and they may not like the new partner for whatever reason. My XW's current BF is a racist apparently and that has lead my children to ignore him at best and hate him at worst, I've never met him. It has been me that has kept my eldest son's hostility to this man's racist views in check. I pointed out to him his mum is happy so he needs to keep his mouth shut and mind his own business. I am pleased my children got the anti racist message but I don't want them impinging on their mother's happiness with our views. It would be easy for me to stir up a hornets nest if I was that kind of person. These are the things that you need to be aware of in this circumstance. An ex who wanted to cause trouble can find ready allies in his adult children and you could find yourself in hot water. Dating people with children adult or younger is a very different ball game, and can be both fantastic and heart breaking.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I My XW's current BF is a racist apparently and that has lead my children to ignore him at best and hate him at worst, I've never met him. It has been me that has kept my eldest son's hostility to this man's racist views in check. I pointed out to him his mum is happy so he needs to keep his mouth shut and mind his own business. I am pleased my children got the anti racist message but I don't want them impinging on their mother's happiness with our views. It would be easy for me to stir up a hornets nest if I was that kind of person. These are the things that you need to be aware of in this circumstance. An ex who wanted to cause trouble can find ready allies in his adult children and you could find yourself in hot water. Dating people with children adult or younger is a very different ball game, and can be both fantastic and heart breaking. I think the term racist is fairly meaningless nowdays. It used to be the racist meant shaved heads, tattoos, and virulent hate speech. Today it applies to anyone who disagrees with the president... or anyone you don't like in general. To the point where I think most of us qualify as racists in some way.
GorillaTheater Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 One difficulty I've heard from a few friends of mine in dating a woman with kids is that, when the relationship ends, they are cut off from kids they've grown attached to. One said he misses the kids more than his ex.
sanskrit Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Depends on whether the kids came from a marriage and from how many dads. A young woman who has had children from more than one man is long odds for a stable relationship partner.
witabix Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I think the term racist is fairly meaningless nowdays. It used to be the racist meant shaved heads, tattoos, and virulent hate speech. Today it applies to anyone who disagrees with the president... or anyone you don't like in general. To the point where I think most of us qualify as racists in some way. Yes thats possibly true in the USA, but I don't consider disagreeing with the politics of a man who is a different colour as racist, thats democracy. I consider the hate comments aimed at some one purely because of their ethnicity as racist. One difficulty I've heard from a few friends of mine in dating a woman with kids is that, when the relationship ends, they are cut off from kids they've grown attached to. One said he misses the kids more than his ex. And that is oddly true, you form a connection with the children that is parental.
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