collegeguy_24 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 She does sound very bitter. Im starting to feel sorry for her. Im pretty sure it all has something to do with her past. Thats a pretty low blow right there and uncalled for.
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I really don't get this whole "I won't pay for the lady" thing. It sounds suspiciously like "I don't tip." And besides, don't you get any joy out of treating someone? Any way I look at it, it's a negative. Stingy ("I can't afford to pay for your $10 sandwich!"). Insecure ("Can't she see that I'm valuable? Well, I'll show her when the bill comes!"). Arrogant ("Heh, pay? This bitch should be sucking my dictoes. My dictoes."). Naive ("She'll love me for being a maverick, playing by my own rules."). But still, the main problem is that you don't derive any pleasure out of it. I just simply like taking people out. Buying them a drink. It's supposed to be fun! I would hate to pull you Scrooges as my Secret Santa. Looking forward to that $5 laser pointer you picked up at the gift store across the street from your office, a**hole. At least pretend to care. NEXT. OMG, I love you! So true...all of it!!!
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I really don't get this whole "I won't pay for the lady" thing. It sounds suspiciously like "I don't tip." And besides, don't you get any joy out of treating someone? Any way I look at it, it's a negative. Stingy ("I can't afford to pay for your $10 sandwich!"). Insecure ("Can't she see that I'm valuable? Well, I'll show her when the bill comes!"). Arrogant ("Heh, pay? This bitch should be sucking my dictoes. My dictoes."). Naive ("She'll love me for being a maverick, playing by my own rules."). But still, the main problem is that you don't derive any pleasure out of it. I just simply like taking people out. Buying them a drink. It's supposed to be fun! I would hate to pull you Scrooges as my Secret Santa. Looking forward to that $5 laser pointer you picked up at the gift store across the street from your office, a**hole. At least pretend to care. NEXT. Agreed. It is a reflection of one's personality. This goes beyond gender role BS and goes towards one's fundamental character. I suppose some would rather compromise that character to strike down against traditional gender roles!
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I actually feel sorry for you. I hope you change your viewpoint. Why would I? Hasn't caused me any problems, and in fact, has helped me weed out guys who don't work for me.
welikeincrowds Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 By your logic, women who dont like to pay means that they dont get any joy out of treating someone. Correlation not causation, my good bro. I never said that the reason men don't pay is that they don't get any joy out of it. Who knows why these idiots won't pay? I'm just surprised that they don't get any joy out of it.
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Agreed. It is a reflection of one's personality. This goes beyond gender role BS and goes towards one's fundamental character. I suppose some would rather compromise that character to strike down against traditional gender roles! Totally agree. I also don't get the "equality" thing. Gender roles exist. They always will. Sure, we can bend them, but men and women aren't equal and never really will be because we're just fundamentally different beings. The day men start giving birth and have the same physiological makeup as woman is the day the genders will be truly equal.
tami-chan Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Its called for. She insulted women who liked me. Uh-oh...lost in translation......Who insulted the women who liked you-not I...go back and read the posts you responded to...jesus...
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I have to agree with this, a simple cup of coffee or tea to get to know someone can count as a date. Its not expensive and you can get a feel for each other. Seriously, is any guy here going to miss 3 bucks for coffee? Dude, it's not about the money. Lol. You guys are missing my point. I go talk to the girl. If she likes my personality great. If she doesn't then that sucks. Whether it's in a restaurant, coffee shop, whatever is totally immaterial. Furthermore, thinking that one person in this interaction DESERVES something from the other is ridiculous. It's the wrong way to set **** up. Does she like you for your personality, or because you hold doors open, and pay for dates, and pay for a house, and blablabla. And at what point does she realize she actually ****ing hates your personality and this other menial bull**** you do to make up for it isn't cutting it anymore. Not saying I wouldn't hold doors for a girl I really liked. That's a nice gesture. But some girl I just met? Uhhh, we aren't there yet....
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Not saying I wouldn't hold doors for a girl I really liked. That's a nice gesture. But some girl I just met? Uhhh, we aren't there yet.... So you have to really like the woman to hold the door open for her? Wow.
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Why would I? Hasn't caused me any problems, and in fact, has helped me weed out guys who don't work for me. You really clicked with a guy and passed on him for no good reason. That's not working. You don't really click with every guy you date. Guys approach you all the time. The fact of the matter is, if you go dressed up you would have a hard time doing SOMETHING wrong. I knew a girl who was a complete bitch (deleted her from facebook when I finally grew up and realized she's a terrible person). This doesn't stop her from having 10 guys hit on her in bars, and tons of guys wanting to date her. She's still an awful person and quality guys don't care about looks enough to give her the time of day.
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 So you have to really like the woman to hold the door open for her? Wow. Well I can't slap her ass afterwards if we just met.
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Whether it's in a restaurant, coffee shop, whatever is totally immaterial. Furthermore, thinking that one person in this interaction DESERVES something from the other is ridiculous. It's the wrong way to set **** up. Does she like you for your personality, or because you hold doors open, and pay for dates, and pay for a house, and blablabla. And at what point does she realize she actually ****ing hates your personality and this other menial bull**** you do to make up for it isn't cutting it anymore. Agreed. I do it because I want to, not because I think she's entitled to it or deserves it. It's no different from me going out to the bar with a few friends. If I order a drink, I'll buy a round for everyone, not because I feel compelled to or expect them to buy me drinks later, it's because I want to treat them...and I often don't get "reimbursed" because I'll only have one drink or at most two when I go out... And you seem to fail to realize that your basic behaviors are a direct reflection of this personality of yours...
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 You really clicked with a guy and passed on him for no good reason. That's not working. You don't really click with every guy you date. For YOU it's "no good reason." For me, it's one of the best reasons there is. I think it speaks volumes about his character, or really, lack thereof. Guys approach you all the time. The fact of the matter is, if you go dressed up you would have a hard time doing SOMETHING wrong. I knew a girl who was a complete bitch (deleted her from facebook when I finally grew up and realized she's a terrible person). This doesn't stop her from having 10 guys hit on her in bars, and tons of guys wanting to date her. She's still an awful person and quality guys don't care about looks enough to give her the time of day. Yes, guys approach me all the time, usually when I'm not dressed up, more like straight out of the gym or running errands on a Saturday. What's your point, exactly? Please clarify for me, just so I understand. Are you saying that I'm like this girl in question? That I'm a "complete bitch," a "horrible person," a "terrible person," an "awful person"?
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Agreed. I do it because I want to, not because I think she's entitled to it or deserves it. It's no different from me going out to the bar with a few friends. If I order a drink, I'll buy a round for everyone, not because I feel compelled to or expect them to buy me drinks later, it's because I want to treat them...and I often don't get "reimbursed" because I'll only have one drink or at most two when I go out... And you seem to fail to realize that your basic behaviors are a direct reflection of this personality of yours... I'm always buying rounds too...
leftfordead2 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 It's funny to see a simple thread causing such a huge ruckus between two schools of thought. Whichever works for you is fine, obviously it's not gonna change the view of another person who thinks otherwise. Why so much hate for people who view things differently?
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Agreed. I do it because I want to, not because I think she's entitled to it or deserves it. It's no different from me going out to the bar with a few friends. If I order a drink, I'll buy a round for everyone, not because I feel compelled to or expect them to buy me drinks later, it's because I want to treat them...and I often don't get "reimbursed" because I'll only have one drink or at most two when I go out... And you seem to fail to realize that your basic behaviors are a direct reflection of this personality of yours... they are the ones acting entitled. I'd obviously have no idea she thought she was entitled to **** unless I said let's go dutch and they cut off contact for that reason. Knowing that would require me to be a mind-reader. When you buy drinks for coworkers there are no ulterior motives. You are there to have fun with your coworkers. When you are out on a first date with a girl you absolutely have an ulterior motive. So the two situations are completely different.
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 It's funny to see a simple thread causing such a huge ruckus between two schools of thought. Whichever works for you is fine, obviously it's not gonna change the view of another person who thinks otherwise. Why so much hate for people who view things differently? Exactly. And note the side that's spouting the vitriol. The boys who don't want to pay.
jerbear Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Hi jerbear! what happened to you? clarify? When the bill came, she insisted on paying for her part, down to the exact penny for taxes and tip. I like attention to detail but she wanted exact detail, I said how about doing it easy and just round up and that I insisted on paying for the whole bill & tip. Who cares if the total bill, with taxes & tip, ended up being $51.26 or $52. Just be generous instead of wasting time arguing of minute details like paying $51.26 for tip or $52. She ended up paying $51.26 and I just went with it. I think it was a character and compatibility test. She wanted to be the alpha in the relationship, plus want the guy fight to be alpha. I said ok she can be alpha and I'll fight. When I contacted her for a 2nd date, she said that she paid and was bitter. In other words no 2nd date.
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 When you buy drinks for coworkers there are no ulterior motives. You are there to have fun with your coworkers. When you are out on a first date with a girl you absolutely have an ulterior motive. So the two situations are completely different. Ah ha! That's where I think you're missing the point. When you're on a date, you are there to have fun...with your date. On a first date, there's no ulterior motive beyond that. It's to enjoy their company. You seem to think of paying for a date as "buying a woman," as opposed to treating her to a fun time.
Cracker Jack Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Personally, I don't see an issue with a man paying for the first date at all. Topic sure went to hell fast, tho.
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 For YOU it's "no good reason." For me, it's one of the best reasons there is. I think it speaks volumes about his character, or really, lack thereof. Yes, guys approach me all the time, usually when I'm not dressed up, more like straight out of the gym or running errands on a Saturday. What's your point, exactly? Please clarify for me, just so I understand. Are you saying that I'm like this girl in question? That I'm a "complete bitch," a "horrible person," a "terrible person," an "awful person"? Ever watch Seinfeld? It means you live in a bubble. You are hot enough (especially given the things you just said) that guys are attracted to you. Period. So you can act however you chose and a good number of guys will hit on your regardless. A hot girl saying - well what I do works for me so who are you to judge is silly. I have no idea what you're like in person.
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Lol, you were the one who kept passing judgments. I'm distinguishing between gentlemanly behavior, and non-gentlemanly behavior from my perspective. I am not name calling or using inflammatory language.
USMCHokie Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 they are the ones acting entitled. I'd obviously have no idea she thought she was entitled to **** unless I said let's go dutch and they cut off contact for that reason. Knowing that would require me to be a mind-reader. Her sense of "entitlement" is quite irrelevant when I take a girl out on a first date. When you buy drinks for coworkers there are no ulterior motives. You are there to have fun with your coworkers. When you are out on a first date with a girl you absolutely have an ulterior motive. So the two situations are completely different. Zuh...? So would it be accurate for me to infer that your purpose for taking a girl out on a first date is to (1) get laid or (2) set up subsequent dates in order to achieve (1)...and NOT tohave fun with the woman you're taking out...?
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Ever watch Seinfeld? It means you live in a bubble. You are hot enough (especially given the things you just said) that guys are attracted to you. Period. So you can act however you chose and a good number of guys will hit on your regardless. A hot girl saying - well what I do works for me so who are you to judge is silly. I have no idea what you're like in person. I don't think I'm hot, not by a long stretch. And I'm not saying that to fish for a compliment.
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 When the bill came, she insisted on paying for her part, down to the exact penny for taxes and tip. I like attention to detail but she wanted exact detail, I said how about doing it easy and just round up and that I insisted on paying for the whole bill & tip. Who cares if the total bill, with taxes & tip, ended up being $51.26 or $52. Just be generous instead of wasting time arguing of minute details like paying $51.26 for tip or $52. She ended up paying $51.26 and I just went with it. I think it was a character and compatibility test. She wanted to be the alpha in the relationship, plus want the guy fight to be alpha. I said ok she can be alpha and I'll fight. When I contacted her for a 2nd date, she said that she paid and was bitter. In other words no 2nd date. At that point in the conversation I'd roll my eyes. Whatever I could do to not be included in these shenanigans she's playing is what I'd go with. I'd probably just ask straight up whats wrong.
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