dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 whether you like him<whether he pays the bill is he cool or does he pay for the first date? Is he needy or did he pay for the first date? Were there sparks or did he pay for the first date? Stupid ****ing reason. Thinking you're ENTITLED to a free date is ridiculous. now if you wanted to take issue with the way he went about it, okay then maybe i can see that. But it still should in no way be a deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 That's the other thing, I don't... I don't ask for the first date, I don't pay for the first date, and I don't put out on the first date. That's you and you do what works for you. Plenty of others do ask out, pay, and put out. I don't support putting out on date 1, but I do the other 2. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 What does this mean? How is equality convenient? My point is that women want to shout about how independent they are but when it comes to the dating traditions that benefit them they want to return to the 1950s. You can't have it both ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Eh, in my opinion, old fashioned chivalry ain't never gonna be outdated... :love: I really have to say, the true gentleman of LS are adamant about paying on the first date. Never surprises me when they identify themselves... Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Lots of women are equally as strong. Should they open the door for you too? Opening and holding a door is common courtest, regardless of gender. Link to post Share on other sites
Sabali Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I don't put out on the first date. I'm sorry that all of your first dates have been so suboptimal. But, hey, you can't miss something you never had. Right? But you deserve so much more, Star Gazer. You deserve so much more... Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Eh, in my opinion, old fashioned chivalry ain't never gonna be outdated... True words............ Link to post Share on other sites
classof2014 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Its definitely odd to put so much emphasis on who pays what (i.e. dividing up the total and adding everything, etc.). I wouldn't say dump him, but maybe take things slowly. How did the other parts of the date go? Oh and whoever initiates the date should pay. Since men usually initiate dates, men should usually pay. Obviously if their are huge income discrepancies, exceptions can be made, but thats the general rule. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 My point is that women want to shout about how independent they are but when it comes to the dating traditions that benefit them they want to return to the 1950s. You can't have it both ways. For once I agree with Woggle... Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Opening and holding a door is common courtest, regardless of gender. Wrong again, always hold the door for a lady Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Yes. They can open their own doors as far as I am concerned. Not surprised you feel that way, Woggle. I have had women open the door for me. Why do you have a problem with that? Not surprised you feel that way either, jamesum. Thinking you're ENTITLED to a free date is ridiculous. But it still should in no way be a deal breaker. Still not surprised that you feel that way too, dispatch3d. That's you and you do what works for you. Plenty of others do ask out, pay, and put out. I don't support putting out on date 1, but I do the other 2. And of course, I'm not surprised you feel that way either, Max. My point is proven. Link to post Share on other sites
ConflictedGuy27 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 lolol... @ a loss for words here. sheeesh, I've picked up tabs 4X the size if that for platonic female friends... LAUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 OK, I know there are threads about this but: Against my better judgement I re-enabled my OKC account and had lunch with someone from there just today. The bill came, and he split it by what we had. I mean he actually added up what I had and what he had and we payed separetly. He never offered to pay I thought that this is a clear sign of no interest, but he texted me later that he wants to see me again. But, his stinginess REALLY bothers me. I am pretty generous with money. LAUNCH? Why should you just expect someone to pay? You have a job, right? Why does a guy owe you more than what you owe him (which is nothing)? Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 Wrong again, always hold the door for a lady I'm not wrong. It's common courtesy. Does that mean a woman should let the door slam in the guy's face? Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 That's the other thing, I don't... I don't ask for the first date, I don't pay for the first date, and I don't put out on the first date. LOVE THIS!!! Honestly, I think that the guys who complain about having to ask girls out and having to pay for the first date are just LAZY. Sometimes the old-fashioned way really is the best way. And the door thing? Give me a freaking break, guys!!! I can honestly count on one hand the number of times I've opened my own car door when I was with my boyfriend. And we've been together for a year. His father still opens ALL doors for his mother and they have been married for 41 years. Sh*t....if I was with a guy who thought he was making some kind of "equality" statement by refusing to open a door for me, he probably wouldn't even see me on the other side of the door because I'd be gone so fast! Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I once LAUNCED a girl because she wont pay for me despite being the one asking me out. It was just so weird. But I had been asked out by other girls a few times and all of them did pay for the first date so I guess girls these days generally know the courtesy and if I liked them I always treated them on a second date. Some people say men who dont pay arent husband-material, but for me women who expect men to pay arent wife-material either. So what the hell. I'm not getting ready to give her an engagement ring here. I believe in equality in dating. I think it's dumb the way things are set up. Passing on someone who you really like because he chose not to pay for the first date is damn silly. Whatever, pass on quality people. It's your loss. I'll never do another first date where money is involved just to avoid this entire thing. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I note no comment was made regarding whether the accountant dater was 'hot'. OP? Like 'wow, the convo was so good and he looked so hot but then he started adding up the bill and ....' TBH, for a casual lunch, I might be inclined to go dutch, especially a first meeting. For a formal dinner date, no way; I pay. His fail was taking the split bill in a humorous way and leveraging it to ask you out on another date. However, since there was no mention of his 'hotness', I doubt he was and would have failed anyway. So, ergo, his methodology worked out well for him. Once more into the breach Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I once LAUNCED a girl because she wont pay for me despite being the one asking me out. It was just so weird. But I had been asked out by other girls a few times and all of them did pay for the first date so I guess girls these days generally know the courtesy and if I liked them I always treated them on a second date. Some people say men who dont pay arent husband-material, but for me women who expect men to pay arent wife-material either. So what the hell. The girls that asked me out also paid. But I also initiated the second date if I was interested. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I'm not wrong. It's common courtesy. Does that mean a woman should let the door slam in the guy's face? yes, it's the man's job to catch the door. Link to post Share on other sites
ConflictedGuy27 Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I once LAUNCED a girl because she wont pay for me despite being the one asking me out. It was just so weird. But I had been asked out by other girls a few times and all of them did pay for the first date so I guess girls these days generally know the courtesy and if I liked them I always treated them on a second date. Some people say men who dont pay arent husband-material, but for me women who expect men to pay arent wife-material either. So what the hell. the hell kinda gentleman are you?? you dare invite a chick to pay for your meal... very lame. you get no respect from me, pal. Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 I'm not getting ready to give her an engagement ring here. I believe in equality in dating. I think it's dumb the way things are set up. Passing on someone who you really like because he chose not to pay for the first date is damn silly. Whatever, pass on quality people. It's your loss. I'll never do another first date where money is involved just to avoid this entire thing. That's what I do. No dinner or movie on a first date. I'd rather go to the Jersey shore, go on a picnic, or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 The girls that asked me out also paid. But I also initiated the second date if I was interested. You seriously let her pay? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 It's not laziness, I am the one who works for my money so therefore it should be spent on me. Women wanted the entire rulebook thrown out in the 60s and 70s so don't complain that some things you like were thrown out as well. You have to take the bad with the good. Link to post Share on other sites
Lemontang Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 The fact that he didn't pay shouldn't really be the issue, but more so how he went about it. I'd feel embarrassed going through each part of the bill like a check list. Take for an example a date I was on last night, I hardly glanced at the bill threw my card in and gave it back to the waiter, she then asked how much it was. I just said "Not enough for you to worry about" and left it at that...needless to say she insisted on paying for breakfast on the weekend. But if a guys going to go over a bill like that then it should speak volumes as to in part some of his character. Me well I don't need to put it into words but I'd do what these guys do.... Link to post Share on other sites
Mad Max Posted October 6, 2010 Share Posted October 6, 2010 yes, it's the man's job to catch the door. Make sure you're following me at a doorway. I'll make sure it slams in your face. Link to post Share on other sites
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