kahn2154 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I am pretty shy, and will only start to open up once I start getting comfortable around someone. Now if I also know one person, and through them meet more, even though I am with someone I am comfortable with, if there is someone else that I know nothing about I will put my walls back up. Public school just did a number on me with that I guess, my mom told me I was outgoing as a kid, and vaguely remember that, but once I gained weight, became obese and started getting picked on for being fat/poor it just ruined my self esteem and I have never recovered from it. So while I have had a case of sad, so I am pretty much a hermit who is trying to break through but not having much luck. I have been in many social situations lately and just feel as though I'm being viewed as boring and as a result no one wants to continue anything with me. I'm pretty quiet, sometimes don't know how to respond/talk about social situations when subjects come up that I've never experienced. I don't drink do/drugs so it's hard to loosen up. I have interesting job to some I guess, but I don't like to bring it up because of the negative connotations that come with it. Pretty much when someone describes me, they always say I'm a nice guy, which is pretty vanilla and boring I guess. So I really don't know if I'm boring or not, I've been in situations where I've been able to hold long conversations with one person, and feel pretty comfortable honestly doing it. But put me in a group setting and I am lost most of the time. I'm kind of eyeing a girl from a dating site, and just don't know if I should even bother to do it without gaining some more social experience on my own. Would be like just throwing myself into the fire (don't know if I would be able to even catch her eye and get her attention online) might just be setting myself up for failure since she seems like intelligent and fun, and just thinking to myself why would she want someone like me. So while I do have some interesting things about myself, I really don't like to bring them up, and my social life stopped at 12, so I'm scared that people would find it awkward that I haven't done anything while they've experienced life and judge me. I guess if its just shyness I am assuming I could grow out of it with some more social experience, but boring, I dunno. What do women mean when they say someone is boring? They don't like someone who has what they view as boring hobbies? Or someone that is quiet as opposed to being the life of the party.
Knittress Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Everyone is boring to someone. I think the biggest problem is if YOU think you're boring. If that's the case, change it!
Author kahn2154 Posted October 6, 2010 Author Posted October 6, 2010 I mean, when I'm in groups, like I was just now, people seem to gravitate away from me even when I'm trying to converse. Then I kind of become the xth wheel in conversations not playing a role. Only time people seemingly talk to me is when there is no one else around to talk to
sica Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Knitress is right, its probably just a an unintentional attitude you are projecting. Social situations can be difficult, I know. Try to not to focus on your insecurities so much. Hope this helps!
sagetalk Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Everyone is boring to someone. I think the biggest problem is if YOU think you're boring. If that's the case, change it! This is great advice.
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