we broke up, but now the drama is arising backup again from a leftover scarf .

[p0w3r]

Hey everyone, i recently broke up with my gf (now ex-gf) a couple of weeks ago. some LS'ers know the story really well as they have followed my story and helped me all along. if any of u want to know what the story was all about, here is the link to the thread in which the breakup came about.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3009517#post3009517

 

but the reason i am asking for help and guidance this time is not about the breakup. its about something (a scarf of hers) that was leftover from the relationship.

 

 

here is the complete story that i am looking for help on:

 

- she completely disrespected me and also cheated on me. (i originally believed she didn't have sex with him, but many LS suggested she did have sex with him, and after thinking about it after the breakup and more details emerged i think they may well did have sex. but whether in the end if she did have sex with him or not ..she hugely disrespected and manipulated me and walked all over me in the relationship..sexually or not... and that lead to the breakup). i hate her guts for what she did to me and how much of a b!tch she is. i did soooo much for her and she didnt appreciate any of it and went for some other guy while disrespecting me and walking all over me in the process.

 

-and so then i dumped her (even though i was reluctant but i decided to listen to the advice of more experienced LS'ers)

 

-i told her we are breaking up and she asked me to explain why so i told her how i felt about the actions she did. and then after i explained i simply said " f off and we will never be friends again and you will not be part of my life and i wont be part of ur life from now on and get out of my life.." was a bit angry when i told her this..but angry or not i got the message through

 

-the only remaining thing left after the breakup was a scarf of hers. she told me its worth a lot to her financially and is of huge sentimental value. she said its her moms 18th birthday present to her and her mom had bought it for her with cash (she said her mom normally only uses shop vouchers to buy things but used especially cash to buy this scarf). she also said its worth a lot to her sentimentally as everytime she wears it it makes her feel like her mom is with her. its a very expensive scarf of Burberry brand and it retails for about 400 to 500 USD.

 

-the problem is i had lost the scarf ages ago. i wanted to tell her i had lost it but i realised it would almost ruin the relationship as she is a drama queen and would make a massive fuss about it so i decided to wait and make excuses to delay the return of the scarf until i felt our relationship was strong enough to handle the loss of such a scarf. I wanted to confess many times but i thought our love wasnt strong enough and we probably would split up if i had told her. (maybe not immediately but she would be angry at me for a long time and the relationship would be a very unhealthy one)

 

-but we had broke up 3 weeks ago. before i had gotten around to telling her about the loss of the scarf

 

-i made another excuse to delay the return of the scarf to her. my mindset was, I had sacrificed so much for her during our relationship. if i told her immediately after we broke up that i had lost the scarf. then afterwards whenever she thinks of me she would only think that im the evil person who lost her prized possession and not of all the good things i had done for her (like driving to her house at 4am just because she was sick and lonely). She ruined and completely shattered our relationship by her actions, now if i had told her i lost it then she'd think im the villain. i wanted her to realise what a good and caring boyfriend i was to her and so i decided to tell her i lost it maybe a couple of weeks later after the breakup.

 

-i told her in the breakup talk that i would return it before last weekend. now i had zero contact with her since the breakup. so i wanted to tell her about the loss of the scarf but thought maybe if i bump into her on campus i'd tell her.

 

-but yesterday she randomly came to my house with 2 of her friends (I am friends with them too) to ask for the scarf, without informing me beforehand that she was coming.

 

-she came up to my house and decided to talk to my father about the scarf as the excuse i made before was that my father took the scarf away from me and went overseas for a business trip. so she thought if i cant get the scarf back from my father, she as a stranger could demand her scarf back from my father more easily as my father would give back her scarf if she asked my father for it directly

 

-i was really shocked at her visit to my house. i thought she should have at least given me a warning before she came and given me enough time to prepare for her visit and at least have the courtesy of letting me know beforehand when she was coming. i had no idea she was coming until our mutual friend who drove her to my house texted me 15 mins before she was arrive at my house that they were coming. i had to rush back to my house to meet them at such a short notice.

 

-so when they came..i went up to our mutual friend (the driver) what was exactly happening? whats the situation with her and this visit right now? etc etc. while i was asking her this she went up to my door and started talking to my father. my father actually has no idea about the scarf because i had never told him about this. so i panicked and immediately told her to stop talking to my dad and come talk to me about the scarf as im the one who should be responsible for the scarf.

 

-so me and her went around the corner and had a talk about what was happening with the scarf.in the talk she got angry, in fact very angry at me for me breaking my promise of returning the scarf to her before the weekend. she shouted to me for not replying to her txts ( I indeed didnt reply to her directly, but i met up with her best friend and told her my reply about the scarf and asked her best friend to pass the message on to her). she also shouted to me for "its been all this time and u still cant return my scarf..?!!!!!!!!!! i want my scarf back!!!!!! u said u would give it to me before the weekend!!!"

 

-while she got angry at me...i got angry too. i know im wrong. no doubt about that. but all these thoughts just suddenly rushed to my mind about how nice of a bf i was to her and how much i had cared for her and how much effort i spent on her and the fact that she never showed anywhere near as much care for me and never sacrificed anything for me while i did all the things i did for her without receiving anything back. i thought of how much i just kept on giving and givng to her and never got anything from her..and now shes going all angry at me just about a scarf?!!!! i thought...if all the things i did for u and how nice and caring of a bf and how much i sacrifced for u i was when i was ur bf doesnt even beat out a scarf...then wat a ***n B1t ch you are!!!!!!!!!!!

 

-so i got angry at her too...i was like...you should have handle this thing the proper way and be mature and at least have the courtesay of telling me before hand that you are coming to my house!!! why are you acting like a little maniac and just barging here into my house!!!!!! could u have acted mature and discussed this with me in words before you took all these actions without any kind of warning or talk beforehand?!!!!!!! you didn't even give me enough time to prepare for any of this!!!!!! you just come to my house randomly and i have to rush back to my house and you expect me to do what you want me to do instantly like this???!!!!!!!! you are not gonna get what you want done whenever you want!!!

 

-she was still angry and replied...well i been waiting for 2 months to get my scarf back!! i told u when we were still together that i would come to ur house to get it myself if u cant get it back!!! i said...well ok yes thats true!!! i agreed to u coming to my house to get the scarf back from my father if i cant get it back! i never opposed the idea!!! but at least inform me or give me a warning beforehand that u are coming so i at least know!!!!!

 

-she kept on getting angrier and angrier but i calmed down a little and talked to her calmly.

 

-the conversation ended with: she shouted..:"i want my scarf back now!"...and i got angry again and said.."ok can you at least give me until the end of this week and ill get it back to u?!!!" she shouted."well can i trust u?? u said all this time u would get it back and u still havent gotten it back after so many promises!!! can i trust u this time then???!!!" I shouted back:"well i dont care if u trust me or not!!! i told u what i plan to do and if u trust me ...good!! if u dont?!!!! fine then i dont care!!!!......its ur decision if u trust me or not!!!"

 

-then she just shouted.."f uk this!!!!! lets leave!!!!!!" I shouted.."well if u want to get things done u should do things in a proper and mature way and not just randomly barge into my house without any warning or a bit of courtesy!!!!!!!" and then she shouted.."so do you think u are mature?!!!!!!!" and then i just laughed and said..."well at least i dont get called a 12 year old (she always get teased by her friends because she looks really young).

and then she seemed to be really ticked off by that comment and just fumed but didnt say anything back.

 

 

 

i have a few questions I'd like to ask you guys.

 

What mistakes did I make in the above encounter? what did I do/say wrong? was i wrong in being angry at her? was i supposedly to act like a ultra-nice criminal who should just been very nice to her and just absorb the anger she threw out at me? or was i correct in being angry at her?

 

what are the consequences of me having been angry at her in that conversation. (i want to leave a impression in her of how much a good guy i am and how she is missing in destroying the relationship. i dont want her to think i am a d!c and deserved what she did to me)

 

 

 

what should i do now? i plan to tell her i lost it in the next 2 days. should i be super nice when i tell her and just apoglogise sincerely and try to comfort her? or should i just say...i lost ur ***n scarf..now fu koff and deal with it urself sucker.

 

Normally if this was a normal person i'd be extremmely sorry and apologetic. but knowing what she had done to me in the relationship and how she completely disrespected me and did all those nasty things to me in the relationship i just didn't want to bow down to her at all. i felt she owes me ALOT. shes the guilty one in the relationship. She is the BAD PERSON.

 

and now I have to bow down to her because of a scarf?

 

Guys, i have no idea. please help.

Edited October 5, 2010 by p0w3r
misleading title.

[flying]

I think that returning someone's property - whether or not they are a "bad person" - is nowhere near "bowing down" to them. It's being a decent person yourself. I assume that's what you want to be? Or is it more important to score points off someone?

 

So, let's hear it: You say you lost the scarf ages ago. May I ask how, exactly? How would you "lose" a scarf? Were you wearing it somewhere and left it behind?

 

I sympathize with the fact that you feel victimized by this person...but in the matter of the scarf you are not innocent; you had a responsibility to take care of her property and you didn't, which you aren't fessing up to.

 

So what happened to the scarf?

[p0w3r]

I think that returning someone's property - whether or not they are a "bad person" - is nowhere near "bowing down" to them. It's being a decent person yourself. I assume that's what you want to be? Or is it more important to score points off someone?

 

So, let's hear it: You say you lost the scarf ages ago. May I ask how, exactly? How would you "lose" a scarf? Were you wearing it somewhere and left it behind?

 

I sympathize with the fact that you feel victimized by this person...but in the matter of the scarf you are not innocent; you had a responsibility to take care of her property and you didn't, which you aren't fessing up to.

 

So what happened to the scarf?

 

how i lost the scarf?

 

one night, she was on campus(hanging around with friends/ and/or studynig) and texted me things like.."Im feeling sick..i havent eaten all day..feel down." at around 10pm. at that time I was already home.

 

i am a very caring boyfriend..so i rushed to campus and wanted to make sure she at least eats something for the day before she goes to bed...

 

but to leave the house at 10pm? my dad strongly would not allow me to leave at 10pm for no good reason. so i made up an excuse :" i left a very expensive scarf at campus and i need to go get it back before someone steals it."

 

so he let me go to campus.

 

i went to pick her up from campus and took her to a restaurant and made sure she ate something.

 

but obviously..I have no such scarf to get from campus. it was only just a lie to my dad so i could get permission to leave the house

 

she was wearing that scarf (the one i lost) at the time. she asked me how did ur dad let u out this late? so i just told her the story of how i made up an excuse saying i had a scarf left at uni and i needed to go get it urgently.

 

initially, she texted her friend to see if i can took take her friends scarf home for one night so i can "prove" to my dad that i actually went to get the scarf.

 

but her friend was too busy. so she said..ok take my scarf..so she took off her scarf and gaveit to me. she said show this to ur dad and give me back the scarf tomorrow. i said ok. (note that she offered it to me and i never asked for it myself)

 

so i dropped her home and went home with the scarf. i didnt want to wear it so i just held it in my hand the whole time. on the way home i bumped into a few friends and they dragged me to the library and we were just hanging out there. then i suddenly looked up at the clock and it was 11pm. i was like...whoa damn...thats my last bus in 5 mins!!! so instantly i rushed out and ran to the bus stop trying to catch the last bus home.

 

in all of this i forgot i left the scarf back at the library while rushing to the bus stop.

 

so yea.

 

thats how.

[p0w3r]

I think that returning someone's property - whether or not they are a "bad person" - is nowhere near "bowing down" to them. It's being a decent person yourself. I assume that's what you want to be? Or is it more important to score points off someone?

 

So, let's hear it: You say you lost the scarf ages ago. May I ask how, exactly? How would you "lose" a scarf? Were you wearing it somewhere and left it behind?

 

I sympathize with the fact that you feel victimized by this person...but in the matter of the scarf you are not innocent; you had a responsibility to take care of her property and you didn't, which you aren't fessing up to.

 

 

ok, can you please answer my questions? id really appreciate it.

What mistakes did I make in the above encounter? what did I do/say wrong? was i wrong in being angry at her? was i supposedly to act like a ultra-nice criminal who should just been very nice to her and just absorb the anger she threw out at me? or was i correct in being angry at her?

 

what are the consequences of me having been angry at her in that conversation. (i want to leave a impression in her of how much a good guy i am and how she is missing in destroying the relationship. i dont want her to think i am a d!c and deserved what she did to me)

 

 

 

thanks

[Cee]

I hope your ex girlfriend's mother is alive b/c I don't think anybody would forgive you for losing an item of that high of sentimental value.

 

I would leave your ex a voice mail or email and tell her that you have looked everywhere for the scarf and can't find it. Be apologetic about it. Don't offer to make financial amends b/c she got it as a gift and didn't pay for it. Close the email by wishing her well in life & that there is nothing to discuss.

 

Then go NC. She will call to yell at you. Don't be suckered into picking up the phone. Erase whatever vitriol she puts on your voicemail. You don't owe her another fight b/c the two of you are broken up. Stay NC. Bite on the metaphorical stick until the pain of not talking to her subsides.

 

Let the drama happen outside of your hearing. It will blow over, but you will be remembered as the guy who lost the scarf.

 

As for getting your ex back, please stop thinking about that. It's time to move on and grieve the loss.

[bellabella]

I don't think you should have got angry as, at this stage, she was there to retrieve something that meant a lot to her, and you have continually lied about it, whatever else she has done wrong, this is not one of them.

 

I disagree with Cee, you absolutely should pay for the scarf, you lost it, she needs to be able to replace it.

 

If you can't afford it all at once, set up a standing order to pay her over the next few months.

[p0w3r]

I hope your ex girlfriend's mother is alive b/c I don't think anybody would forgive you for losing an item of that high of sentimental value.

 

I would leave your ex a voice mail or email and tell her that you have looked everywhere for the scarf and can't find it. Be apologetic about it. Don't offer to make financial amends b/c she got it as a gift and didn't pay for it. Close the email by wishing her well in life & that there is nothing to discuss.

 

Then go NC. She will call to yell at you. Don't be suckered into picking up the phone. Erase whatever vitriol she puts on your voicemail. You don't owe her another fight b/c the two of you are broken up. Stay NC. Bite on the metaphorical stick until the pain of not talking to her subsides.

 

Let the drama happen outside of your hearing. It will blow over, but you will be remembered as the guy who lost the scarf.

 

As for getting your ex back, please stop thinking about that. It's time to move on and grieve the loss.

 

her mother is alive.

 

she had gotten angry before about this while we were still together and she went on and on about how valuable te scarf was to her. in my mind its just a scarf. but ive been trying to understand it from her point of view. but i still think she went way too far with the scarf thing. its her moms birthday present, sure, but what does buying it with cash and not vouchers make a difference? the scarf remnids her of her mom, but then couldnt many other things remind her of her mom? i totally understand what she is trying to say but i think she has blown everything way out of proportion. (she is a drama queen and attention whore as agreed by all our mutual friends).

 

so you are saying I should be very sorry to her and act all nice? and if she goes crazy with insults and shouts at me I should just take it nicely and absorb all of it and not be angry back?

 

or wat?

 

and no, I don't want her back AT ALL. I just don't want to be thought of as a dik head and an ********* for losing a scarf. because sure, if I actually did hurt her and bully her in our relationship then by allmeans im willing to accept the fact she thinks im a Dik. but i was super nice to her and did sooooo many things just because i loved her and didnt expect anything in return. now if thats all ruined just because i lost a scarf?

[Cee]

I don't think you should have got angry as, at this stage, she was there to retrieve something that meant a lot to her, and you have continually lied about it, whatever else she has done wrong, this is not one of them.

 

I disagree with Cee, you absolutely should pay for the scarf, you lost it, she needs to be able to replace it.

 

If you can't afford it all at once, set up a standing order to pay her over the next few months.

 

I think the OP is a college student and $500 is a boat load of money. The scarf was a gift so technically, the OP owes the mother the money.

 

Also, a payment plan will entangle the two exes too much. An ex owed me money once and the process of him paying me back made me hate him so much. He was always late with payments and it took forever to get the money back. My nickname for him is "Satan." The OP can make monetary restitution, but only if he absolutely is able to. Promising to pay her back and not paying the ex will make her hate him so much more.

 

Just my two cents.

[p0w3r]

I think the OP is a college student and $500 is a boat load of money. The scarf was a gift so technically, the OP owes the mother the money.

 

Also, a payment plan will entangle the two exes too much. An ex owed me money once and the process of him paying me back made me hate him so much. He was always late with payments and it took forever to get the money back. My nickname for him is "Satan." The OP can make monetary restitution, but only if he absolutely is able to. Promising to pay her back and not paying the ex will make her hate him so much more.

 

Just my two cents.

 

 

lol @ the satan nickname.

 

but back to serious matters. I am indeed a college student and I am actually living on borrowed money at the moment. I barely have spare money to buy new clothes let alone 500USD.

 

the thing is I just dont want this to happen :" that I do 1000 things right but then I do 1 thing wrong and it lands me in the "bad and hated" side.

I had sacrificed so much for her while we were in the relationship and cared for her tirelessly... and now i lost a scarf and she'll forget about allllllll those good things i did for her and just think of me as "the hated guy who lost my scarf.?"

[bellabella]

You should have owned up at the time and apologised, but too late for that now. Take Cee's advice, write one email or leave one voicemail, apologise for losing the scarf, and then don't discuss it any further.

 

I still think you morally owe her the money for it (or at least part of the value), but that's your call.

[p0w3r]

You should have owned up at the time and apologised, but too late for that now. Take Cee's advice, write one email or leave one voicemail, apologise for losing the scarf, and then don't discuss it any further.

 

I still think you morally owe her the money for it (or at least part of the value), but that's your call.

 

yeah come to think of it i should have back then. but obviously now thats irrelevant.

 

ok, so i was wrong in being angry at her and insulting her about her being a immature 12 year old etc. but what are the consequences of me being angry at her ? how will it affect her views of me after i got angry at her.?

[bellabella]

To be honest it sounds like you've both behaved quite immaturely at times, but that's what happens when emotions run high. Be the bigger person and refuse to get drawn into arguments again. I know it's frustrating when the other person doesn't seem to see the positives in you any more, but you've just got to accept that and try to move past it.

 

"but knowing what she had done to me in the relationship and how she completely disrespected me and did all those nasty things to me in the relationship i just didn't want to bow down to her at all. i felt she owes me ALOT. shes the guilty one in the relationship. She is the BAD PERSON"

 

If you truly feel like this about her then you should not mind too much if she has a bad opinion of you, she may feel it's justified, even if you do not.

[p0w3r]

To be honest it sounds like you've both behaved quite immaturely at times, but that's what happens when emotions run high. Be the bigger person and refuse to get drawn into arguments again. I know it's frustrating when the other person doesn't seem to see the positives in you any more, but you've just got to accept that and try to move past it.

 

"but knowing what she had done to me in the relationship and how she completely disrespected me and did all those nasty things to me in the relationship i just didn't want to bow down to her at all. i felt she owes me ALOT. shes the guilty one in the relationship. She is the BAD PERSON"

 

If you truly feel like this about her then you should not mind too much if she has a bad opinion of you, she may feel it's justified, even if you do not.

 

So you are saying that i shouldnt have been angry at her? and that it was actually my fault that the scarf was lost and so i have no right to be angry at her?

 

but now that i was angry at her, wat are the consequences of me being angry at her? does that make her think im a jerk for still being angry at her even though i was wrong.

[LisaLee]

You should text or call her right now and tell her you lost the damn scarf. What exactly are you afraid of when it comes to telling her?

[p0w3r]

You should text or call her right now and tell her you lost the damn scarf. What exactly are you afraid of when it comes to telling her?

 

im not afraid to tell her at all. in fact i rang that mutual friend of ours 10 mins after they left to tell him to come back and ill explain every thing to her there. but he crashed his car so he cuoldnt take her back. so i am just going to tell her tomorrow.

 

the concerns i have right now is://./........will she think im a arshole now that i lost her "precious" scarf...because i was so nice to her during our relationship..i feel this one loss of the scarf could ruin everything good that i had done for her in the past and ill be remembered as the dkhead that lost her precious scarf instead of the guy that did so much for her and provided her life with so much meaning.

 

so the question I want answered is, how did me being angry at her back during the argument(even though the scarf thing was totally my fault) affect her opinion of me? or did me being angry at her even matter for her opinion of me? should i have just been totally nice and friendly or was being angry back also okay?

[leftfordead2]

im not afraid to tell her at all. in fact i rang that mutual friend of ours 10 mins after they left to tell him to come back and ill explain every thing to her there. but he crashed his car so he cuoldnt take her back. so i am just going to tell her tomorrow.

 

the concerns i have right now is://./........will she think im a arshole now that i lost her "precious" scarf...because i was so nice to her during our relationship..i feel this one loss of the scarf could ruin everything good that i had done for her in the past and ill be remembered as the dkhead that lost her precious scarf instead of the guy that did so much for her and provided her life with so much meaning.

 

so the question I want answered is, how did me being angry at her back during the argument(even though the scarf thing was totally my fault) affect her opinion of me? or did me being angry at her even matter for her opinion of me? should i have just been totally nice and friendly or was being angry back also okay?

 

 

Ahh Pow3r, I remember reading your thread a while back. So it's about the scarf this time eh? I can understand why you're so hung up on her opinion of you as you guys just broke up. However, as you mentioned that you have no intention of getting back together with her at all, may I ask why does her opinion of you matter so much? You said you wanna leave a good impression and make her miss you. What do you accomplish by doing this except for a feel-good moment if she does beg you?

 

I can tell you that after a while, when you're truly over her and this relationship, you won't give a $hit about what she thinks of you. I know it's hard for you to think that way now, but really, her opinion of you doesn't matter anymore. Whether she thinks you're the best thing that happened to her or the dkhead, who cares? You live your own life and she live hers. If she felt that you're the best thing that happened to her, she wouldn't have cheated would she?

 

May I ask how did she take the break up? Feelings are probably still raw from the break up and imo, this argument would indeed make both of you more angry. She might think you're the worst right now but then again, in a few months time, she might start to miss you and remember the good times. Who knows eh?

[Chocolat]

IMO, the drama is not back up over a scarf but over your repeatedly lying to her about the scarf.

 

Look, do the right thing and pay her for the scarf. It's been lost through no action on her part. You specifically asked to borrow it, then left it behind and lost it.

 

I don't know your back-story but I do know that if you'd been lying to me about something of mine -- repeatedly telling me you'd give it to me on X date and then coming up with an excuse about why not -- I'd also be pretty pissed. Whatever her faults, her reaction here is not one of them.

[Stung]

I admit I haven't read the previous thread, so I am not up on all the details, but it's interesting to me that you repeatedly state that you did everything for her and she never made one sacrifice for you. Yet clearly she sacrificed something very important to her, a sentimental and expensive and fashionable scarf which was a big-deal gift from her mother, so that you would not get in trouble with your parents. You admit you think of it as 'just a scarf' and don't understand why it's important to her. Also you have lied to her for months about it--does it ever occur to you that maybe you're not as sterling and she's not as tarnished as you currently believe? That there are two sides to this story and perhaps this was not the first miscommunication between you?

 

Just curious. Learning to examine relationships from multiple perspectives is a big step forward on the road to maturity, IMO.

 

In any case, you both sound pretty immature and stubborn and I'm sure there was a ton of unnecessary drama associated with this relationship. Hopefully you will both learn a little something from it and bring less high drama into your next relationships. Whoever was at fault for earlier problems, in THIS chapter of your saga with this girl, yes, the big problem lies with you. You are lying, evading, misdirecting, dragging things out, and some might say thieving at this point. You are dragging innocent bystanders (i.e. your dad) into your mess and then blaming the ex-gf for approaching them when YOU are the one who smeared them with this crap in the first place. You are certainly just as guilty as she is for shouty and inappropriate behavior--no, she shouldn't have come by your house unannounced, but she never would have done that if you hadn't lied to and evaded her for months, get real. She probably thought you wouldn't be there if you knew she was coming, and she's got good reason for thinking that at this point.

 

Returning someone's property is not 'bowing down to them.' Being honest with them about a mistake that you did make is not 'bowing down to them.' Seriously, act like an adult and just tell her you lost the scarf instead of dragging your family into your ugly mess and shouting at people for not trusting your word about something you DID lose and HAVE lied about.

 

As for whether they're 'even now' because she cheated and he lost her property and lied about it, unless I missed something, there is no proof that she cheated--the OP in this thread states that was an assumption made by people on LS that he decided to go along with, doesn't it? And I have certainly seen the embittered LS masses leap to erroneous conclusions a time or two before--so maybe she did, maybe she didn't. Maybe he's not on such a moral high ground here after all.

 

In any case, OP, tell the girl the truth about her property, and consider paying her some restitution for it if you can afford it. Accept the fact that at least in this one area of your relationship with this girl, you were in the wrong. Then cut off contact with her completely, because you two are clearly awful for each other. Try to keep moving onward and upward.

[LisaLee]

 

the concerns i have right now is://./........will she think im a arshole now that i lost her "precious" scarf...because i was so nice to her during our relationship..i feel this one loss of the scarf could ruin everything good that i had done for her in the past and ill be remembered as the dkhead that lost her precious scarf instead of the guy that did so much for her and provided her life with so much meaning.

 

Yes, she will think you an a s shole for losing the scarf, lying, and dragging the whole situation out. Yes, every nice thing you did will go out the window and every bad thing you did will be amplified. Oh wells. Now do yourself a favor and tell her the truth, then end contact with her.

[painfullyobvious]

give back the scarf or replace it and just move on... I had a property problem in my breakup years ago as well and just gave her what she wanted so I could just move on. She tried to find other ways to stay connected after this for your information.