sweetblubrry Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I have been with this guy for 3-4 months and overall in person it is GREAT! We talk about anything and everything and feel totally comfortable. It is just outside of seeing each other that it is the problem..... he doesn't text or call. Maybe a few texts here and there but overall not much. I know that he is not a phone person... and that he only texts maybe 250 a month.... when I text like 5000 (not just him lol) but it is kind of frustrating! If I call him, then he will be on the phone with me for hours but he never calls me. I see him at work but I don't really get a chance to talk to him. I worry because next year he will be traveling overseas more so and he is not so great in the communication dept outside of being in person. Does anyone else have this problem with their guy? What can I do to help it out? I've already tried to talk to him about it... it worked for a bit but now back to the same thing again. Am I overreacting?
CLC2008 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Yes, I think you are, simply because 5000 texts per month is extremely excessive. That's like close to 200 mesages per day.
Seamless74 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 uggh!!! thats so many texts.... I dont know kudos to your boy for being a man... Texting although necessary is just disposable communication its not real conversation and shouldnt be used as a substitute for it.. The more masculine males just dont dig talking about nothing that much its really a drain on energy and I bet he might or might not have actually told you but i bet it really pisses him off that your a compulsive texter...
EasyHeart Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Am I overreacting? YES!!!! For the love of God, quit calling him!!!!
Author sweetblubrry Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 For the record I clearly stated that not all these texts go to him, a lot go to my friends and stuff. I actually barely text him... because I know he won't answer or I will see him in person before then and get to ask him! Just wondering if this is the norm for guys.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 If you know this about him, please expect it not to change (and don't try to change it). At the end of the day, people will be who they are and it's up to us to make a decision as to whether they're a match or not; then act accordingly. Now, regarding the texting, its true that most guys seldom text as much as women; especially younger women. BE HAPPY HE DOESN'T TEXT YOU LIKE MAD!! trust me on this point. When you guys get together you want to have stuff to talk about and things to do/share together. Constant communication is probably worse than too little communication because often times (in over communicating situations) its easy to feel as though you're rehashing stuff already discussed. Sounds like you've got a good thing going with this guy - he clearly likes to talk to you, when he can. There's no problem there. Advice: You know how to get him to communicate with him - just reach out (that's what you told us) - so do that... "problem" solved.
that girl Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 250 texts a month is like 8 a day. I think that is a little high and I'm not an old, technology unsavy person. Your 166 texts a day seems insane to me, though it explains why I was once asked on a job interview how often I text! I think you have unusually high communication needs. You work with him, so even if you don't talk to him at work much you're seeing him every day you work, plus phone calls, plus texts. It sounds like you aren't giving him a chance to call you.
Author sweetblubrry Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Thanks guys! Saw him all day today, everything is fantastic! I don't know why I get insecure over outside communication. Its a flaw I have I suppose. I think because so many times before I have a dated a guy and when he starts to dwindle on the conversation via texts/calls... it is always usually 100% over. But those weren't relationships, merely dates. Its something I have to beat for myself, any advice! It is so hard when you've been hurt so many times in the past!
CLC2008 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Thanks guys! Saw him all day today, everything is fantastic! I don't know why I get insecure over outside communication. Its a flaw I have I suppose. I think because so many times before I have a dated a guy and when he starts to dwindle on the conversation via texts/calls... it is always usually 100% over. But those weren't relationships, merely dates. Its something I have to beat for myself, any advice! It is so hard when you've been hurt so many times in the past! Awe, that is good to hear. Otherwise, we'd have to send you to a text AA addiction clinic.
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