lemonlegs Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Alright so my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months now and we're crazy about each other. Let me start off by saying that I trust him, that I don't think he's going to go fly somewhere to simply have sex with her, or that this girl that I don't know is a bad girl. When we started dating, he would mention her frequently but it didn't bother me since we had just started talking. As we got more serious, whenever he brought it up he could tell it irked me so he stopped mentioning her except maybe the odd time when it may have been relevant. Anyways, flash forward a few months, we were in a movie theatre and I saw that he had a missed call from her (I knew they talked occassionally on the phone) and so it bothered me and I asked him how often they talked. His reply was that it had been a few months and her uncle died so he said she could call him if he wanted, probably to be nice. Inititally I thought it was okay, but then I was thinking, "Why the hell is this girl confiding in her ex boyfriend, when she APPARENTLY has a new one? I'm sure she has friends and her 'boyfriend' she can talk to." But anyways I didn't say that to him. Then last night, we were on the topic of teaching, and he brought up the fact that she was moving somewhere to teach. I was slightly taken aback cause then I knew that they were talking again. So the issue arises. The ONLY reason they broke up was that he had to move back home (so they are in different provinces) so that sort of bothers me, it's not like they're incompatible. And one night when we were both drunk he told me he would probably have still been with her had he not moved. But on the other hand, the fact that they did not have a messy breakup makes me feel like they're entitled to talk. I just don't like how she confides in him and feels the need to update him on every detail of her life.... probably on a monthly basis. I told him I wanted to talk about this, but I want to know if anyone thinks I'm over reacting or if I'm being rational. Note that I do not have any contact with any of my exes (they both cheated on me so that is why, but technically I COULD still talk to them if I really wanted to now that I'm over it) I've tried to let it slip, but that last mention of her really made me think of how weird this is...
Eeyore79 Posted October 4, 2010 Posted October 4, 2010 My rule is, if a guy maintains contact with his ex, I dump him. It's too messy and there's too much jealousy and insecurity - exes should be exes, and if an ex is still in his life, I won't be. There's no reason for him to still be contacting this girl, or for him to be responding to contact from her. If he refuses to cut her off, you seriously need to consider where his priorities lie.
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