LoveLace Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Do you think it would be appropriate or moving too quickly for a man to have a woman over to his house for dinner and movies, as a 2nd date? How about the 3rd? If he asks that early on, is he just romantic or perhaps just wanting to get you into the bedroom?
Author LoveLace Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 I wondered this because my new guy that I met on Match said this before our 1st meeting.."I wish we have met already so that I could invite you over for dinner and movies". I just said "we can always do that another time". But I felt like I was in an awkward position because if he's just dying to get me over to his house I feel that's moving too quickly. So if he asks to do this for a 2nd date I don't know how to respond...
Serenitynow Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 You cant judge each person the same. It dpends on how well you know the person. how long youve been in contact. and probably the nature of the conversations mature vs immature If I could ever get a date again, I would not invite her over to my place that quickly at least not discussing it with her.
Tripp1 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 I usually think there is a general pattern/formula for what dates to go on, 1st - dinner, 2nd - some random activity, etc, but it's really all how you vibe with the person. Personally I have been in situations where by the second date we are all over eachother at my apt. Other times it's not even until the 4th date where there is a kiss or that comfortableness. So don't fret and worry about whether he is going to ask you or not. Just take things exactly how YOU want to take them (what makes you comfortable) and go from there. Maybe he's going to be an awesome guy and you will want to do dinner/movie at his place. Let's not judge him too quickly on whether or not he's just saying this to "get in your pants". Maybe he really likes you and feels that connection and wants to already take it up a notch. There is nothing wrong with that. Plus at the moment it's all just talk. Just curious, have you been on the first date yet? Sounds like you haven't, I may be just a little confused. If you haven't go out with him and just have fun and see what happens. Tripp
Author LoveLace Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 The first date is tonight. Of course I am hoping it goes well. But for some reason it has stayed in my head that he mentioned dinner and movies at his place this soon. If it does go well I"m half expecting that he will mention this again, and possibly as a 2nd date. Even if I feel that I like him a lot at this point, I don't know that going to his house for a 2nd date is appropriate...I think that I will just suggest it as a possible 3rd date if he brings it up. I already have something in mind for a 2nd date anyhow, which doesn't involve anyone going to anyone's house I guess I just feel that it puts me in a position to be physical (especially when watching movies) and I don't want to feel that kind of pressure so early on. Perhaps I should just explain that i need more time to feel physically comfortable enough. It may sound silly but think I've just been hurt too many times in the past by men that I was physical with.
Tripp1 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I guess I just feel that it puts me in a position to be physical (especially when watching movies) and I don't want to feel that kind of pressure so early on. Perhaps I should just explain that i need more time to feel physically comfortable enough. It may sound silly but think I've just been hurt too many times in the past by men that I was physical with. Yeah, that makes sense. If he brings it up you can just be honest and tell him that you want to take it slow. If he doesn't understand, then bye bye. Also, I am new to this site. Do people mostly ask questions about online dating? Or other types as well?
Author LoveLace Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Also, I am new to this site. Do people mostly ask questions about online dating? Or other types as well? Oh no, no! There's a whole lot of categories of discussion around here
Star Gazer Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 How'd your first date go, LL? FWIW, I once thought going over to a guy's house for dinner/movies for a 2nd date was totally fine. I posted about it once, because I was upset that he put the moves on me during that date. I got reamed by every guy here. They all said in doing so, I was sending the signal that I was ready to have sex. I tend to agree now. Just food for thought.
Kamille Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Perhaps I should just explain that i need more time to feel physically comfortable enough. It may sound silly but think I've just been hurt too many times in the past by men that I was physical with. It's not silly at all and you will be surprised at how well gentleman respond to this kind of information. In the last few encounters before BF, I would tell guys I dated I preferred to keep dates in public spaces as we got to know each other. No one ever responded badly to this. In fact, most seemed to think it made me a real class act. It was weird, it's like me telling them I would let them know when I was ready to, uh, get private, took a lot of pressure off of them.
carhill Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Do you think it would be appropriate or moving too quickly for a man to have a woman over to his house for dinner and movies, as a 2nd date? How about the 3rd? If he asks that early on, is he just romantic or perhaps just wanting to get you into the bedroom? For him to broach the subject with a woman he's never even met in person would be cautionary to me. I would say the same about a woman broaching the same subject with a man. After the first date, which we'll hopefully hear a report on presently, that perspective *could* change. Hope it went well
Author LoveLace Posted October 4, 2010 Author Posted October 4, 2010 Well well what do ya know, we clicked right away and had a great time. He told me I'm "incredible", lol. We hung out again the next day, at his place for pizza and football. We originally were going to meet at his place to go somewhere from there, but it ended up being comfortable and fun so we just stayed right there And he has a roommate so we were not alone, although we did find enough time to make out He spoils me already and vocalizes that he wants it that way. He kept telling me I'm beautiful and that he would miss me when I was gone...which almost sounds crazy for a 2nd date, however I was having all the same feelings. He's already reassured me more than once that he's not the type to get what he wants and take off, and that he's all about me and no one else right now. For me this is all very different in the most wonderful way, since I like him a lot too:) The feelings do seem intense for being so early but since it's mutual we might as well ride it out and see what happens. He's already quite anxious to see me again, as of now we have plans for the coming weekend. But I'm really feeling like I've found potential best friend material and I haven't felt that in probably years now.
Tripp1 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Well well what do ya know, we clicked right away and had a great time. He told me I'm "incredible", lol. We hung out again the next day, at his place for pizza and football. We originally were going to meet at his place to go somewhere from there, but it ended up being comfortable and fun so we just stayed right there And he has a roommate so we were not alone, although we did find enough time to make out He spoils me already and vocalizes that he wants it that way. He kept telling me I'm beautiful and that he would miss me when I was gone...which almost sounds crazy for a 2nd date, however I was having all the same feelings. He's already reassured me more than once that he's not the type to get what he wants and take off, and that he's all about me and no one else right now. For me this is all very different in the most wonderful way, since I like him a lot too:) The feelings do seem intense for being so early but since it's mutual we might as well ride it out and see what happens. He's already quite anxious to see me again, as of now we have plans for the coming weekend. But I'm really feeling like I've found potential best friend material and I haven't felt that in probably years now. Quite awesome.
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