Tres Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 A man, 46, from online, wants to have the first meeting at hotel loange (not the restaurant) at 9 pm. I thought it was strange and suspected that he might want to have sex in hotel on the first date. So, I asked him about his expectations for the first date. His answer was kind of strange as well. Here is the answer. 'I think it will be a nice evening meeting with you. Other than that, I try not to expect anything in particular. I think we are just trying to live a good life and make it the best we can'. BTW men typically answer the question that they just want to have a conversation with me. Men, do you think that he wants to have sex in hotel or he is just weird?
carhill Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 My answer: 'If you'd prefer, we can meet at the hotel restaurant or one nearby. If you know a place conducive to conversation, let me know and I'll make a reservation right now' Is the man staying at the hotel where this lounge is? My MO might be, if I was in the lady's city as a traveler, to meet her in the lounge or lobby and then go out for dinner/drinks/whatever. To me, his response seemed a bit disconnected, but men can be like that. They confuse me sometimes and I am one. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
sanskrit Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 If it's a nice hotel with a nice lounge, nothing strange about it at all, and wouldn't worry that he expects sex just because it is a lounge. If it's a Holiday Inn or some shabby lounge, I would wonder at his judgment. His reply seems about right given the broadness of your question.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 If you're that worried offer to have breakfast at Hardys instead. That will tell ya what's what.
Author Tres Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 Is the man staying at the hotel where this lounge is? My MO might be, if I was in the lady's city as a traveler, to meet her in the lounge or lobby and then go out for dinner/drinks/whatever. To me, his response seemed a bit disconnected, but men can be like that. They confuse me sometimes and I am one. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. He lives in the area. He states that he is divorced with many kids. He is handsome. His schedule is very busy.
Philetus Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 A man, 46, from online, wants to have the first meeting at hotel loange (not the restaurant) at 9 pm. I thought it was strange and suspected that he might want to have sex in hotel on the first date. So, I asked him about his expectations for the first date. His answer was kind of strange as well. Here is the answer. 'I think it will be a nice evening meeting with you. Other than that, I try not to expect anything in particular. I think we are just trying to live a good life and make it the best we can'. BTW men typically answer the question that they just want to have a conversation with me. Men, do you think that he wants to have sex in hotel or he is just weird? My guess.... He's suggesting the lounge because it suggests having a drink instead of dinner, as the restaurant would suggest. I almost never have first dates over dinner unless I have a really good feeling about someone. So, I don't find that weird. I also find nothing weird in his response. I get what you mean about it being in a hotel and not a coffee shop but I'd be okay with it. It would just make my spider sense tingle a little bit. However, it's still a public place and he can't make you do anything you don't want to do. So, I find the choice a LITTLE surprising but it doesn't seem too strange. If everything else has been good (and since you're meeting him, I suspect it is), I'd go.
carhill Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 He lives in the area. He states that he is divorced with many kids. He is handsome. His schedule is very busy. Hmm, he lives in the area and says he's divorced. OK, I'd suggest an alternative meeting during the day for lunch. Busy men eat and drink. I know my business colleagues do. He'll be happy to entertain a lady rather than his buddies during that time. Suggest it, directly. I'd pass on the hotel thing. No need for that.
TaraMaiden Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 A man, 46, from online, wants to have the first meeting at hotel loange (not the restaurant) at 9 pm. I thought it was strange and suspected that he might want to have sex in hotel on the first date. ..... I think we are just trying to live a good life and make it the best we can'. BTW men typically answer the question that they just want to have a conversation with me. Men, do you think that he wants to have sex in hotel or he is just weird? Let me tell you, as a woman, what I interpret this to mean: "Of course I want sex with you. But I'm not going to tell you that flat out, because you'd probably run a mile. But as two consenting adults with no ties, why not simply hit the sack and enjoy the moment for what it brings us?" he lives locally? he has 'many kids'? my partner says that his comment suggests that "within 90 minutes we will no longer be in the lounge but in the laying position". When I told him the guy is local, he added "count yourself lucky Im not asking you to meet me behind the hotel, and I suggest you bring your own contraception....!" This from a male...! Trust me - this guy is after a convenient shag.
alexlakeman Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Don't meet him @ a hotel bar. Suggest to him another bar / lounge in the area where YOU r comfortable. If he says yes fine; if not then you clearly know what his intentions were. As a guy I've never suggested a first date at a hotel bar.
DazednConfused Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 He lives in the area. He states that he is divorced with many kids. He is handsome. His schedule is very busy. As a fellow forty-something, and long-time veteran of the on-line dating thing... here's exactly what his response means: "From your on-line pics, i think you might be nail-worthy or even more, but I won't know until I meet you. If we meet each other's standards, there is no harm in moving to a hotel room and I will be prepared for that eventuality. Otherwise we will have a drink, a pleasant visit, and neither of us will have shared anything of meaning. Or maybe we click, but there will be a more conservative just a kiss at the end of our meet... I'm prepared for any outcome and can accept anything that is offered." Here's what some women don't know about the male experience of on-line dating.... sex on first date/meet happens more often than not w/ the over 35 crowd; especially if there is alot of prior communication to first actual meet. It just doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. At least in my experience; and I'm not even what most would call classically handsome, tho I'm not Shrek by any means and I do work out and take care of myself. If this guy is truly handsome, I'd think he has an even higher average and expectation. (expectation is the wrong word, but i can't find the right one) I actually think the whole thing from location to his answer is put out there in an attempt to be a true gentleman. He's giving you all the options and letting you know that he hasn't pre-judged you in any way. Only been thoughtful enough to make all options accessible. if you enjoy each other for a drink, you can move on to a nice dinner; enjoying each other's company further. There may be theatres etc, nearby, or a park for an after dinner walk, for after dinner entertainment; who knows? Go have a drink, and enjoy yourself... draw the line whereever you feel comfortable. -Dazed
Author Tres Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 Unfortunately, the online men who are looking for ONSs in hotels on the first date assume that every woman is looking for the same. I do not know how high their rate of success is. But, I would prefer that they gave me some clear indications of what they wanted. I think that the fact that he wants to have the first meeting at hotel is his clear indication of his intentions. I just do not want to end up with uncomfortable situation where an older, horny, unknown man would suggest to have an ONS with him. I am not interested in that and, also, in any conversations with men like that.
Tripp1 Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 All guys want to have sex. Well, so do girls for that matter. But, I wouldn't waste time trying to analyze what he wants, especially from such a broad answer. If you feel uncomfortable just make the date at a different location and see how he responds. Give the guys a chance at least. Plus I think hotel lounges are a nice place to meet. I don't think that necessarily implies sex. It is a popular spot for people to go or it some random hotel? Take that inconsideration as well. Tripp
Seamless74 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 hotel bars are prolly gonna be quiet laid back good lighting and stiff drinks... but yes he does wanna have sex with you.... and online dating is lame..
sanskrit Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Asking a again, or rather bringing it up again in hope of an answer, where does he want to meet? Holiday Inn? or Ritz? makes a gigantic difference in his likely intentions. Also, are you in a city? Meeting at hotel bars in cities is not at all unusual and a great place for first meets as opposed to boring coffee houses. If you are asked to have drinks at a quality hotel, and decide to go, try not to show up suspicious or questioning his motives or you will end up looking like a rube.
tami-chan Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 LOL, of course he wants to have sex with you! (Not necessarily right there in the lounge.) Any man who goes out with you wants to do that, didn't you know? no? :lmao:!!!!
redmelon Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 yea, I think we need more information. Are you in a big city? Which hotel chain is he taking you to? Did he say he was staying there?
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