JessaL Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Late afternoon: Bf sends gf an email asking about dinner/movie tonight. Early evening: Gf doesn't see email, but bf calls to see what her plans are. They tentatively commit to dinner/movie/him coming over for a bit to hang out, but he says he will call or text when he is on his way or in the area to let gf know what's up. Night: Bf texts gf that he is home and what is she up to. Gf responds that she has been at home, and why didn't he call or text like he was supposed to. Bf texts back that, since it's late, he thought it was obvious they were not going to do anything. Gf is understandably annoyed at such a lack of consideration, and bf is completely ridiculous, right?
USMCHokie Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Late afternoon: Bf sends gf an email asking about dinner/movie tonight. This is where the FAIL begins...always assume that you won't receive a response to your email for 24 hours... Early evening: Gf doesn't see email, but bf calls to see what her plans are. They tentatively commit to dinner/movie/him coming over for a bit to hang out, but he says he will call or text when he is on his way or in the area to let gf know what's up. FAIL #2. Either make concrete plans (i.e. with a time and place) or don't make plans at all. None of this wishy washy BS if you actually want to go out... Night: Bf texts gf that he is home and what is she up to. Gf responds that she has been at home, and why didn't he call or text like he was supposed to. Bf texts back that, since it's late, he thought it was obvious they were not going to do anything. FAIL #3...I don't even know how to describe how much fail this is... Gf is understandably annoyed at such a lack of consideration, and bf is completely ridiculous, right? Not ridiculous, per se, but maybe a little misguided...
Star Gazer Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 I don't think "BF" is completely ridiculous, but I understand being miffed with him. "BF" sounds like a guy I dated two years ago and earlier this summer (same guy). We never had a concrete plan, everything was tentative...he liked it that way, and as a result, I'd be sitting around wondering whether or not I had plans with him. I was never more frustrated with dating than during those periods. I still get frustrated just thinking about it! But I'm a planner. I like concrete plans.
Author JessaL Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 I think we've been dating long enough that we don't always have to have concrete plans (though I prefer them), but I do think I deserve the respect and consideration of a phone call or text letting me know what's going on, as promised, and when I don't receive one and call him out on it, an apology, not a "duh, it's obvious, why do I have to let you know, you should have figured it out". Just need to make sure that I'm not being completely unreasonable. Later last night bf wanted to know what my problem was and I said that I didn't want to talk about it right now, since it was late, but I was annoyed at how inconsiderate he has been lately. His reaction was to flip out on me about how he doesn't have to give me any consideration and I should be happy receiving half the consideration he shows me. Then he accused me of being a jerk all week to him and said it must be because I'm angry he's going on vacation without me. Clearly I couldn't possibly be legitimately annoyed or angry over how he's been acting This is something I will break up over, if he still feels the same way today.
Author JessaL Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 I think we've been dating long enough that we don't always have to have concrete plans (though I prefer them), but I do think I deserve the respect and consideration of a phone call or text letting me know what's going on, as promised, and when I don't receive one and call him out on it, an apology, not a "duh, it's obvious, why do I have to let you know, you should have figured it out". Just need to make sure that I'm not being completely unreasonable. Later last night bf wanted to know what my problem was and I said that I didn't want to talk about it right now, since it was late, but I was annoyed at how inconsiderate he has been lately. His reaction was to flip out on me about how he doesn't have to give me any consideration and I should be happy receiving half the consideration he shows me. Then he accused me of being a jerk all week to him and said it must be because I'm angry he's going on vacation without me. Clearly I couldn't possibly be legitimately annoyed or angry over how he's been acting This is something I will break up over, if he still feels the same way today.
EasyHeart Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Unless this is a pattern, then GF is over-reacting. What's the real problem here?
Author JessaL Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 (edited) Last weekend: had asked bf to not make any plans, other than one thing that was already on the table, so we could spend QT together. He made plans. I asked him to please not make any plans for next weekend, so we could do something special together (I was trying to plan a surprise for him). This week: Monday ~ In random conversation I find out that he made plans with someone else for the entire day Saturday. Once again I have to reschedule my surprise, and he wasn't thoughtful enough to actually TELL me when he made plans and apologize - I only found out because he casually mentioned it while talking about something else. Tuesday ~ He says he's going to do something with a friend after work for an hour, and tells me the absolute latest time he will be home. I say great, so we can hang out after that? He says yes. Then he never texts or calls me to let me know that he was running late, one hour turned into four, and we couldn't hang out. Wednesday ~ He had tentative plans to do something after work again, then decided that he was going to do it for sure at the last minute. He was late and we didn't get to hang out. I am retroactively annoyed about this, because at this point I'm pretty pissed off that he apparently doesn't want to spend any time with me. Thursday ~ AM: I ask him to pretty please figure out a weekend that he is free and to not make any plans - and then teasingly let him know that he for real should actually not make any plans this time (for the surprise). He starts yelling at me and being defensive. Later sends a text apologizing for being grumpy, because he was tired (:rolleyes:yeah, aren't we all). PM: We have tentative plans for dinner/movie and definite plans to hang out. He keeps me waiting around because either he forgot or I should've figured it out that we weren't going to hang out at all. He screams at me when I mention that I'm annoyed at how inconsiderate he's been lately. I am also tired, stressed out from work, and dealing with the loss of a close family member. However, I am not showing him any inconsideration and telling him he doesn't deserve it, nor am I taking a mood out on him. He doesn't see anything wrong with his behavior, or how it could at the very least be annoying. Next week he will be on vacation and we won't see or speak to each other for a little over a week. I no longer have any desire to try to do something nice and plan a surprise for him. Thinking about breaking up with him for being such a huge freaking douchebag. That's what's really going on, EasyHeart. Edited October 1, 2010 by JessaL
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