spiderowl Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 (edited) I wonder if you can give me so advice here please? I'm especially interested to hear from shy guys. I'm trying to figure out whether a guy I barely know is interested. He goes to some of the same music groups as me though I don't really know him, had only seen him around and heard him sing and thought he was a good musician. On two occasions now, when I've played my piece, he's talked to me afterwards. On one occasion he came and sat down and we had a chat about music. On the second occasion, he was at the bar and I played a song. When I got up to go to the ladies room, he stopped me on the way to compliment me on what I'd played. We talked a bit about music and I told him I liked the way he plays which is different to my style. I also mentioned how I couldn't seem to play in his style and he tentatively offered to show me some time. I say tentatively because I got the impression then that he was quite shy and seemed a bit nervous about saying it. Unfortunately, I responded spontaneously and honestly rather than encouragingly so I'm not feeling very pleased with myself. I just joked about how others had tried to show me and I hadn't been able to learn, so we didn't actually arrange anything. So that's it - the sum of our conversations! He sounds nice though and I've noticed other people I know seem very fond of him so I think he's probably a decent giuy to get to know. What I don't know is whether his behaviour was just friendly or if there's anything more to it than that. Maybe he was a bit nervous because he didn't really want to offer to help and felt obliged to? I certainly didn't intend him to offer. I'm not a flirt and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have any clear idea that I was interested in him. He didn't have to talk to me on both occasions and didn't have to offer to help, but maybe he's just a sociable guy who does that kind of thing. What do you think? Edited October 1, 2010 by spiderowl
Author spiderowl Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 Oh dear, I was hoping for some ideas on this. If you have got time, it would be appreciated ...
carhill Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 So, do you see him making the rounds and sitting next to other women talking about their music?
Philetus Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 I'm sorry. I don't see enough to base much of an opinion. FTR, I'm not shy. He could be interested, he could just be friendly, he could be in a relationship and just making conversation. Does he flirt or talk to other women? Do you know if he's single? When he's talked to you, does he blush? Is he unable to look you in the eye? If he looks away, does he smile when he does it? Have you caught him looking at you? I think you may have to initiate here to see what's going on. The next time you talk to him, look him in the eye and smile warmly, or reach out and lightly touch his arm. See how he responds.
Author spiderowl Posted October 2, 2010 Author Posted October 2, 2010 Thanks for replies. I guess it's not much to go on. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. I don't know if he's single, barely talked to him as I mentioned. He's not wearing a ring but sometimes people don't. I don't see him very often, only about three or four times in all. He was with others he knew on three of those occasions, friends in a band. No, I haven't seen him talking to other women particularly or flirting. He doesn't strike me as the type to flirt. He did find it difficult making eye contact with me, which is one reason I thought he might be shy. I haven't caught him looking though we did catch each other's eye at some point. I had no idea he'd even noticed me until he spoke to me when I was passing. I will be friendly, given the chance. He seems a nice guy.
Lone Wolf Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Well I'm really inexperienced but I'm shy so maybe my opinion is worth something. I would do it that way and maybe wait for an answer or hint from the other person. So yes, maybe he's trying to be more than friendly. Hope I helped! P.S: Since I'm shy I could really use some help with this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t247866/
Mycroft Posted October 2, 2010 Posted October 2, 2010 Its very likely hes interested. If you can, ask a mutual friend if hes single and if hes shy. If yes to both you likely turned him down in his mind, and you might have to make the next move. It wont take much to get the ball rolling again, just randomly stop him to talk like he did to you.
Author spiderowl Posted October 3, 2010 Author Posted October 3, 2010 Thanks for your comments. I appreciate your insights. I would like to know if he's attached but if I ask any of my friends, they'll immediately jump to conclusions and I'd feel very embarassed if he was married or something. Ideas as to how one can find out such things without being too obvious about it would be welcome.
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